Crypto-Cranium

Crazy Wisdom

2012-01-25T18:45:00.003-07:00

No doubt, Chogyam Trungpa was one crazy Rinpoche. For me, he is best known as Pema Chodron's teacher, and the reason she is the Director of Gampo Abbey in Nova Scotia. But serious Dharma students know him for his prolific, amazing writing and for creating Shambhala for Westerners who found Vajrayana too esoteric.

I was primarily posting the link below, from Shambhala to my blog (rather than sending it to FB) because other than a handful of folks, I don't think the FB crowd really "gets" my incessant interest in Buddhism. I would really LOVE to get a small group of like-minded folks to either share and read our blogs (and of course, we can still use FB to share links, too) and create a Virtual Sangha. I was going to tweet this link to Zatheos, when he emailed in with his own thoughts about life in "the Cave." I don't think he'll mind my sharing this one line with my limited followers:

Most days I'm really ok with it--having no one in my life who really understands this thing I'm so invested in. But some days you just don't want to feel alone in the things that matter most to you. . . I wonder if there were days in that cave that Milarepa wished that Marpa was there.

The irony is I started posting this hours ago, in response to an email exchange Z and I were having about deity worship. When I finally came back to finish this and post it, he sent the cave comment. So, Zatheos, this is mostly for you!! The next time you feel isolated, PLEASE post a comment here and include a link to your Amazing blog!! Vajra fan Ryan would love it, I'm sure!!

Here's that Trunpa link Crazy Wisdom / Choiceless Transmutation

I do have a Pema "fan group" on FB that I moderate, so perhaps a few of them (VERY eclectic folks) would ride this wave length-- Crazy Cave folk ;) OR, the title of another Trungpa book "the Mishap Lineage." Really!!

Auspicious, indeed!

2012-01-23T10:10:00.007-07:00

During the last week of my Vajrasattva Retreat, we studied Mahamudra. This is a "secret" teaching, and until recently remained one of the teachings that was very inaccessible. So, it certainly seemed more than coincidental when on the last day of the retreat, I learned that Lama Dudjom Dorjee from Dallas would be in Albuquerque to give Mahamudra teachings over that weekend (Friday - Sunday) at the KTC center which is only three miles from my house! That is auspicious enough. But, then at the initial public talk, I learned that he would be teaching the same translation used by Venerable Thrangu Rinpoche, who is the Abbot of Pema Chodron's Gampo Abbey, two of my "top teachers." Then, we had the special opportunity to have dinner with Lama Dorjee Saturday evening at the home of one of the Sangha members. That was even more amazing and during that time I received a very special transmission.

Our Kagyu lineage actually means "the whispered teachings" and places extreme importance on receiving oral transmissions. I have spent far more time reading than directly receiving the transmissions, but the times I've had these blessings and insights, I am reminded why it is so valuable. Proper guidance. Auspicious, indeed!

Meditation and Dharma

2012-01-12T11:12:00.002-07:00

GREAT Post, Great site: Meditation Journal

Sometimes I write here, and sometimes I write in emptiness. Sometimes I write about meditation. Sometimes writing is meditation.

Exploring Inner Space

2012-01-10T13:21:00.009-07:00

That's the topic for today's section in the Sadhana (retreat program), but I'm going to veer off a bit and then circle back.

At the long life ceremony for His Holiness the 14th Dalai Lama (at the conclusion of the Kalachakra 2012 in Bodhgaya ) Westerners got a rare glimpse of a secretive aspect of Tibetan Buddhism. The Oracles (in trance!) can be seen in the sixth photo (of the previous link.) There are now THREE Oracles that HHDL consults during auspicious events such as the Kalachakra event. Until about a year ago, I don't think anyone in the general public had seen any of these Oracles in trance, and only serious scholars and advanced practitioners probably knew of them (please comment and correct me if I'm wrong on this.) HHDL decided to allow a documentary, which I will link to later, to be filmed in 2010. I think his decision might have been tied to the ongoing controversy over the Shugden spirit (a former Oracle that you might say has haunted HHDL.) That is also addressed in the documentary.

I have to say my mind was blown when I saw the Oracles appearing right there on Ustream last night. I didn't think that ceremony would be streamed to the general public. We must stop and realize that only with the advent of the internet are we privileged to even see the Dalai Lama on a screen in our home, much less conducting an advanced tantric rite. Not so many years ago seekers and Buddhists had to travel to India and literally climb the Himalayan mountains for a brief audience with him. Then HHDL began to travel and I felt so honored to see and hear him give a public talk here in Albuquerque in 1991. I watched all the live video sessions of the summer Kalachakra in Washington DC and marveled at the opportunity. But, to "broadcast" the previously never-before-seen Oracles "in trance" was a true spectacle! I thought the Nechung State Oracle was much older. (You can see how young he is in the clip below, out of trance.)

Given that HHDL allowed this documentary to be filmed and it was released in 2010, you too can marvel (or maybe recoil in horror) at this clip from "The Oracle - Reflections on Self."

If that's not exploring inner space, I don't know what is! Once again, this is nothing like the post I envisioned. I have written over 100 pages in various journals since the retreat began. I'll cull through it all and hopefully post more insights soon.

2012!

2012-01-01T13:11:00.004-07:00

If this first day is any indication of what 2012 holds in store, it's going to be a Wild Ride!

After fasting yesterday and spending a very quiet New Year's Eve of contemplation, I was looking forward to hopping up to eat and celebrate today -- it's called rejoicing ;) The very fist thing I saw, however, was an email that "set me off." My heart was racing and I was mad. How could this so-and-so ruin my plans? After pacing around a bit, and sitting down to breathe, I was able to turn this situation around and SEE it for what was really happening. People are going to do whatever they do, but MY reaction is a choice. I didn't have to "go off." I could do anything from ignore it to quickly handle it and move on. Izzi (my dog) was growling about something, but I don't have to fight back. All these situations can be lessons or opportunities, if we choose to see them that way. I felt inspired and thought I would come and blog about that bit of insight. But, first, I decided I should check my Facebook site, get my daily retreat update, and perhaps post an inspirational note to a sick friend.

I went over to my friend Kelli's page, ready to post something like, "Welcome to a brand new year," when I saw something about a memorial-- HER memorial. The blood literally drained from my face and hands. She had died just two days after Christmas. This was not expected. Yes, Kelli had been fighting cancer for the past three years, but she had been going out to eat when I last heard from her. This is the way I remember Kelli O'Brien from high school. Kelli, Kristi, me and many other girls all looked the same -- long straight hair parted down the middle. It was the 70s. I left Kristi a message and she called back very quickly. We would have cried, but I had sobbed uncontrollably before she called and she had cried at the memorial service Friday.

Talking to Kristi, my best friend in high school, was wonderful. We live a thousand miles apart, but called a couple of times last year; not enough. I will never see or speak to Kelli now. What a roller coaster day of emotions. I have a feeling this year is going to bring us face to face with what really matters. Get ready. In fact, if you haven't see the film, "I AM" I consider it "must viewing" (it's on Netflix this month.) I've watched it four times since October and I think I'll watch it again tonight. Call someone, hug someone you care about. Make today and this year matter.

A Quiet Christmas

2011-12-25T10:01:00.000-07:00

I keep thinking of what Michelle said when I told her I would be on retreat through the holidays. She said, "So it will be a quiet Christmas for you this year." I didn't realize how quiet. I didn't think we were taking vows of silence for this retreat, but I see we really are. During the instructions and orientation this past week, we were told that the retreatants at Sravasti Abbey (the photo) are to turn off their cell phones, computers and that they will watch no TV or movies. Video Dharma talks are allowed and we were told we can access the internet Dharma pages, but no other type of "chit chat", in chat rooms, tweeting or emails. (Sravasti is a savvy abbey with plenty of digital dharma!)

So, I am actually violating the rules by blogging. But, I really felt as part of my purification process I need to post weekly. I am journaling a LOT. Keeping very detailed notes on the teachings, my reactions, and the effects. I would love to give my own big dharma talk by writing a Facebook note on all the nuances of this purification retreat, but that would be a complete violation, so I won't. I am learning to be quiet with my thoughts and reactions. To absorb and practice the teachings rather than feel compelled to share every feeling and insight. That is a breakthrough for me and enough said. Yes, Michelle, it is a very quiet Christmas! Holiday Blessings to my friends of all faiths and Namaste to all.

On Vacation with the Buddha

2011-12-18T21:27:00.001-07:00

Well, here I am on retreat, something totally different than I expected to be doing this December. I had every intention of taking off in my big RV Van for the Baja, but fate had something else in mind. It's a long story and those who need to know the how's and why's of it, do. The important thing is that I have now fully committed to 30 days of "Retreat from Afar." I have vowed to the same rigid monastic schedule my brother is doing, the only difference being that I am "in" for 30 days, and he's doing three months -- actually more, but three months of this particular "Vajarasattva Purification." That link is actually to a different, two-day retreat held in 2006, but the tone and topics are the same.

The real reason I'm blogging is 1) to periodically post how I feel going through this long process -- the longest retreat I've undertaken, and 2) to record the truly auspicious beginning. The Lama conducting the retreat told us today, "Many favorable conditions must come together for you to participate in this retreat." I understand what she means -- there are so many circumstances including knowing what Vajrayana is, having some of the preliminary teachings (so it even makes sense), and then the fortuitous conditions to hear of this event and join in. But add to that, right this moment (9 pm Sunday evening) because I was online and reviewing some of the materials, I received word that His Holiness the Dalai Lama was about to broadcast live from India. His teachings just began on Ustream. So I will stop and listen to his Dharma Transmission on mind training.

All of this is incredibly auspicious. Also, this morning, just as I finished meditating and stepped outside to feed the birds, a new unusual bird (very colorful, that I learned is a Black-headed Grosbeak) was outside. I've been feeding birds for several years and this is the first time I've seen such a bird. But it came to me it was a sign that I was on the right path. So, my first day has been very successful, but now I must concentrate on HHDL. Namaste!

Bodhi Day and holiday thoughts

2011-12-12T12:12:00.003-07:00

I've really been wrestling with the "holiday" concept this year. The last thing I want to come off as is a Grinch or Scrooge. Dickens' story of keeping Christmas in one's heart all year long had a HUGE impact on me when I was young, and profoundly affected my life. However more recently I've been pondering what exactly affected me, and it's not really "Christmas" -- it's the spirit of giving.

Charity is something we should keep in hearts year-round, but that's for everyone -- not just Christians. Charity and compassion are an essential part of our Buddhist precepts. The term Bodhichitta means compassion and it arises from realizing how interconnected we all are. Buddhist teachers often use the analogy of our body like this: you wouldn't cut off your hand because it offends you. After all, our hand is part of us. In the Buddhist cosmic view, everything is part of us and the complete realization of that is considered Enlightenment (click on the art above, to read another Buddhist viewpoint on Bodhi Day and Enlightenment.)

Christmas has become so complicated and commercialized that it's hard to know what people are celebrating. Gift-giving is a beautiful sentiment, but not when it means shoving and pepper-spraying others to buy some product that no one really needs in the first place. Even more civilized shopping raises questions of why buy more things for people who have plenty, rather than practicing real charity toward those who have nothing? And, for those who consider themselves Christians (yet criticize those who aren't), how about practicing some of the concepts Jesus actually taught: love, mercy and tolerance.

Finally, I am far from a perfect practitioner (still easily agitated by right-wing political nonsense and many other Kleshas.) That is why I feel compelled to participate in a serious winter retreat this year to "take the Dharma medicine" (as one of my teachers says) with the intention to get healthier every day (and that is in thought, speech and action.) Namaste!

Conrad's Karma

2011-12-01T23:11:00.005-07:00

I got a bit exuberant on Twitter the day Conrad Murray was being sentenced for KILLING (yes, killing) Michael Jackson. With a name like ZenWoman (and on six or seven Buddhist lists), I am fully aware of how UNzen-like it may seem to cheer for maximum punishment. Let me explain.

First of all, the MAX was a four year jail sentence (not life or death), and because of overcrowding in Los Angeles, it will be two years, or less. The time will be served in a jail, not a state prison, and Murray may very well get out much sooner (think Lindsey Lohan.) This is a ridiculously minor term, IMHO, for killing someone, especially when the someone killed was the King of Pop, worldwide icon, and single parent of three young children.

Yes, I know this raises two additional points: 1) should punishment be more harsh for killing a celebrity, and 2) why do I insist he was killed. The answer to the first point is no, however you cannot deny that there was more outrage over the killing of JFK and MLK than an unknown person. There was moral outrage over the loss of Michael Jackson for millions of fans worldwide. And this brings me to my final point. I felt all along that MJ was killed because use of anesthesia by a cardiologist in MJ's bedroom was "gross negligence." His autopsy confirmed it was the propofol and not some other drug or substance. MJ would not have died had Conrad Murray simply refused to administer the anesthesia.

Why am I revisiting all this? Why did I feel glad and even cheer that justice was served? I guess because it was so wrong; just as it was so wrong for Natalie Wood to drown with NO justice. Murray showed no remorse for his actions, even played on the beach during the trial. Now we hear that Robert Wagner may have been negligent or god forbid responsible for Wood's death? It raises ALL the issues of judgement, compassion, and karma. I continue to work on my karma, kleshas and compassion. And once again this brings to mind what HHDL would say in these and all cases of extreme injustice: "How can we not feel compassion for someone who faces such unfortunate rebirth as a result of his actions?" (You can just as easily view this as feeling compassion for someone who will 'burn in hell' in Christian terms.) And that really raises the whole issue of morality, doesn't it?

Lha Bab Duchen

2011-11-17T23:11:00.009-07:00

AKA "Tachyon Bombardment" Wow, today was an important "holy day" in the Tibetan Buddhist world. A day we are to remain mostly silent or doing good deeds, in honor of the historic Buddha's "return to Earth." Doesn't that raise an eyebrow? Return? Where had he been? This is straight from a Buddhist text:

Buddha had been teaching celestial beings, including his mother, in one of the god realms. A disciple begged him to return to the human world, and so Shakyamuni descended from the god realm on three ladders made of gold and gems.

The god realm, really? Or as Ancient Alien theorists would say, maybe a spaceship? From the first time I saw the beautiful Thangka shrine art I zereo'd in on the blue beings. Why so many otherworldly entities in the Tibetan art? Imagine my amazement when I heard about the "Celestial visitations." JUST LIKE MY OWN??

I won't go into the whole Celestial story here (parts of it are in AKS and more to come when I release the Cosmic Revelations in 2012), but yesterday, I was dipping in and out of the recently-released abridged Exegesis of Philip K. Dick, and of course there it all was again: Phil's experiences with the pink beams, celestial visions, and his "tachyon bombardment." The latter his term for the sensation of being beamed insights. While some of this may seem odd or weird to you, it's the stuff I've been dealing with for years -- before, during and now after the writing of my novel. And with the blur of Tibetan lore, VALIS, Ancient Aliens, and my own Transmissions, I guess there is no escaping the fact I will continue to be immersed in these concepts throughout 2012 and Beyond (whatever that might mean.) Crazy? Me or Phil? This surely feels like DeJa Vu all over again ;) Click the book for a podcast about the Exegesis, including a comment I left there. WARNING: the Exegesis can result in severe brain alteration if you spend too much time with it!

ZiaLink Comments?

2011-11-08T14:52:00.005-07:00

Until I figure out how to accept comments on the ZiaLink Ink Publishing site, you'll have to post here. The top priority was getting Beyond the GodForce published for its 11:11 release. The brand new 20th Anniversary eBook Edition is available on Amazon. Exciting!

I'm also working on the Flu pamphlet (mentioned on ZiaLink) and really would love some feedback. Interested in a reliable, healthy alternative to taking a flu shot? Wonder what's in the vaccine and how safe it really is? All of that and more will be in our mini eBook: FLU: the Perpetual Pandemic!

8th year...

2011-11-03T10:01:00.005-06:00

Well, here I go again... my eighth turn of the Nano wheel. Sorry, that's an inside joke for Buddhists (turn of the Dharma wheel.) I'll be combining those two endeavors this time. Spinning the wheel, praying for words. I call this project "Disparate Pieces", a mish-mash of some final work on the GodForce Guidebook, my Vision book and a health booklet. yeah, all are non-fiction. Wanna fight about it? I'm a proud Nano Rebel and I'll do as I please this cycle (every cycle, actually.)

It's not too late to join: National Novel Writing Month or as I call mine -- National Write Whatever You Want Month (NWWYWM) ;)

Religion? Faith? or Reason?

2011-10-14T23:11:00.008-06:00

Religion-- or more to the point Faith -- is it the “purposeful suspension of critical thinking” as Bill Maher calls it? The alleged comedian and his atheist guest, magician Penn Jillette, had a lively discussion on this weeks’ edition of HBO’s “Real Time with Bill Maher” about the Cult of Mormonism (their term, not mine), evangelicals, and of course, their favorite topic: atheism. Lest I sound as cynical as them, let me quickly say I am all for reason and critical thinking. In fact, I too abandoned Christianity, particularly Pentecostalism, as soon as I was capable of critical thinking. "Oh no," you sigh, thinking I am just as cynical as those two. NOT SO. Their ranting tonight provides a perfect opportunity for me to share something I've found incredibly profound from His Holiness the Dalai Lama.

I’ve been listening to several hours of audio from HHDL on this very subject-- no not making fun of Christianity -- critical thinking. The Dalai Lama engages in a thought-provoking dialogue, bringing together scientists and spirituality, because as he says, “science is not neutral; it can be used for good or ill.” He takes a hard look at various ethical considerations related to technological advancements.

But, what brought me here to blog, was the following insight that I transcribed from his audio. The quote below is HHDL's comparison of scientific methods and Buddhism (this is very close to a direct transcription, telescoping just a bit of dialogue in one spot):

Although Buddhism has evolved to include a body of teachings and related rituals, scriptural authority cannot outweigh an understanding based on reason and experience. In fact, the Buddha himself, undermined the scriptural authority of his own words when he told his followers not to accept the validity of his teachings based on a reverence to him. "Just as a goldsmith tests and analyzes his gold through a meticulous process of examination," the Buddha told his followers, "you too must test the truth of what I've told you through reasoned examination and personal experiment." Therefore when it comes to validating the truth of a claim or mind training technique, Buddhism accords the greatest authority to experience, then reason and scripture last.

The great masters from the Nalanda University of India, from which Tibetan Buddhism sprang, continued to apply the Buddha’s advice in their rigorous testing and critical examination of the Buddha’s own teachings (HHDL continued on telling the gathering of monks and scientists, then summed up with this amazing statement.)

So, it makes no difference if the Truth is found through scientific research or if we investigate something and find there is reason and proof for it, we must acknowledge that as reality- even if it is in contradiction with a literal, scriptural explanation that has held ‘sway’ for many centuries or from a deeply held opinion or view. So, (and here comes his most astounding remark) a fundamental attitude shared by science and Buddhism is the commitment to keep searching for the Truth by empirical means and to be willing to discard religious precepts if our search finds the facts to be different.

This kind of critical thinking and flexibility is why I am a Buddhist.

Honestly, I can’t think of what I could add to that. If I were in Court, I would rest my case!

Non-Violent Response?

2011-10-02T14:08:00.005-06:00

So, #OccupyWallStreet (on Twitter) REALLY got me going. I loved the #OccupyBurque crowd -- cheered them on, honking and waving on Central Avenue Saturday. But then Saturday night I was getting really hot under the collar reading right-wing Tweets. As usual I began to lambaste the worst offenders for their “ignorant views” such as claiming that liberals are just jealous of the rich. I am NOT envious of extreme greed and outrageous resistance to paying their fair share of taxes. I donate as much as I can to help those less fortunate and I make a pittance of the 1% Wall Street wealthy. Yes, I’ve invested in stocks over the years, but with companies of my choice, companies I want to support, not the "greedy bastards" (as Dylan Ratigan calls them in his book) that invented or use leveraged derivatives to make obscene amounts of money at the expense of innocent home owners. I stand with the 99% who have lost their jobs and homes over such excessive greed and corruption that has come from the alleged “self-regulation” of corporate America.

That said, the real point of this post is that my Buddhist Teacher, Pema Chodron, reminds us that whenever we feel really challenged (or angry) it’s definitely an opportunity to expand our Practice. In particular the teachings of today's audio were so timely as she described Peace Activists often being the most angry and aggressive protestors. I’ve used her example of this before when she describes turning down the sound on the television and seeing two “red faced men” arguing. You cannot distinguish one side from the other. All you see is anger.

Her point: in pitting opinion against opinion, no progress takes place. You cannot hear the other side when each person is shouting over the other. In the non-violent view (on this International Day of Non-Violence today, honoring Ghandi's birthday 10.2.1869), is it POSSIBLE to stop and actually HEAR another point of view? Ghandi, the Dalai Lama and Pema all claim it is. They teach that we don't have to give up our beliefs, but that we can be open enough to listen and at least agree to disagree. I find it very hard -- nearly impossible -- to listen to those who quickly resort to name-calling. Some right-wing tweeter insisted on calling the peaceful protestors "loons." Of course, I wanted to call him an ignorant asshole. So, where does that get us?? As Pema says, just two red-faced angry people.

We have to find a way back to civil discourse in this country. Congress is at an impasse: Republicans vs. Democrats, liberals vs. conservatives, rich vs. poor, and we find disagreements and differing views escalating on every front. There is no respect or willingness to listen. How do we get out of this stalemate?

Water in the Desert

2011-09-22T11:11:00.006-06:00

Love this shot I took of the mesa that inspired Georgia O'Keeffe to paint and stay in New Mexico. After 30 years I finally saw Abiquiu Lake. Although it's smaller than Heron Lake (where I stayed in 2008) the setting is more spectacular. I camped here with the van for three days.

Before that I stayed one night at Jemez Springs and have brief (hokey) videos of both. (They should be viewed in order, I think.)
First, just a still shot of Soda Dam, a unique geological natural dam at Jemez River. I camped further downstream...

The Lake was just a few steps from the "rig" at Riana Campground!
Abiquiu is about 90 miles northeast of Jemez and the whole trip was almost exactly 300 miles. And, what you can't see is the unbelievable night sky and dense stars. I could see the Milky Way! There were many cosmic events :-0 Those are for my paper journal (for now ;)

Calm Abiding

2011-09-16T08:28:00.003-06:00

What I love the most about Pema (Pema Chodron) and her way of presenting age-old Buddhist teachings is how fresh and non-religious she makes the message. When she talks about addictions and desire it's more like listening to a young, modern counselor. You would not suspect you are hearing a 75-yr old nun teaching on Kleshas (our grasping nature.) If you haven't met Pema, take a moment and look at this brief discussion where Alice Walker (author of The Color Purple) expresses her gratitude and asks Pema if suffering serves any purpose.

I think everyone could benefit from Pema's messages. For some, like my friend Lesley, it has changed her life-- almost instantly. Lesley said HHDL (the Dalai Lama) didn't "speak to her." That floored me. But when I thought about it, I could see why. He's Tibetan and... a man. Pema is speaking directly to Americans and often to women. She is an American. She was married, has children and grandchildren, and knows exactly the kind of problems we face.

But for me the very best part of Pema, and any Buddhist teacher, including HHDL, is there is no proselytizing. If I sound "preachy about Pema" it's only because she's so wonderful and I want the world to know. I'm really not trying to recruit Buddhists. When you get down to it, it's really much more a philosophy than a religion. The Dharma (teachings) is more like a tool box -- techniques that can help quiet a troubled mind. As HHDL is fond of saying, "You can be a Buddha and a Christian, but usually it's the Christian churches who don't like the vice versa." He laughs a full belly laugh when he says that. Namaste! (which literally means I bow to you, or see myself in you.) OH, and for the exuberant, I posted a lengthy discussion as a link on the title.

Think PKD is passe?

2011-09-01T11:11:00.023-06:00

well, think again! Philip K. Dick (PKD as the Dickheads call him) is getting even MORE popular this fall! Every week we see a new book release about him, or even BY him -- even though he's been dead for nearly thirty years. This November fans will finally see the infamous Exegesis of PKD. Infamous, I say, because there has always been a swirl of controversy around Phil's private life. The Exegesis (in full) is said to be nearly ten thousand pages of raw, journal-like scribblings-- some typed, some hand-written. Much of it centers around Phil's personal speculations on the cause of his strange encounters in early 1974, the "pink beam" phase, as some of us lovingly call it. Other Dick fans hated these final years of Phil's life claiming he had a series of "pin strokes" (TIA is the proper medical term) beginning eight years before he died and that all of his visions and "religious" experiences can be tied to brain maladies. Phil died of a stroke, followed by heart attack, March 2, 1982.

Paul Williams, who was the first Literary Executor for PKD's papers and unpublished works, was adamantly opposed to publication of the Exegesis. He called it "incoherent and repetitive." Of course Paul has his own brain malady now (early dementia from a bicycle accident) so he's in no position to argue with the Trust (Phil's offspring.) Moot point, since Volume One of the material is set for November 7, 2011 publication. All of this was discussed in the last issue of PKD Otaku-- one of the only remaining PKD 'zines. (Interview about my novel, followed by my interview with Phil's widow Tessa and other AKS/PKD matters begin on page 8. Google doc loads fast, check it out!)

The Los Angeles public library is sponsoring a panel discussion about PKD and his Exegesis in November.

That's not all! As I said, every week something new comes out. Just today I received this pre-publication blurb. You can imagine how my heart lept when I saw that subtitle: Do Androids have Kindred Spirits!! On Amazon, however, I discovered the title appears to have been changed to Philip K. Dick and Philosophy: Who Adjusts the Adjustment Bureau? That one is due out October 11.

Postings have never been more frequent or furious than they are now on the "Secret PKD Society," a private Facebook group. Seventy-five Phil fans post every new sighting. Word of the Global eBook Award for my novel, A Kindred Spirit, received fifty comments. But, this my friends, takes the cake. PKD TV!! It wouldn't be hard to fill up an internet channel with the movies, documentaries, video clips and fan ravings about our man, PKD. There's talk of a Bladerunner remake (godforbid) and Radio Free Albemuth (a posthumously published PKD novel/now film) is currently seeking a distributor. The RFA film trailer looks dark and weird, just the way ole Phil liked things. There's plenty more Phil facts over on the Official Philip K. Dick Site to keep fans up-to-date on everything coming down the pike! (pun intended ;)

True Self Webinar

2011-08-23T23:11:00.000-06:00

Really enjoyed MSIA (pronounced Messiah)'s webinar tonight. Movement of Spiritual Inner Awareness, that's the full name. I have been luke warm about this group, which some call a cult. However, I like some of their concepts, which are an odd blend of Buddhist philosophy, Taoism and what I call some Gnostic pre-Constantine Christianity (they don't say that, I do.) MSIA emphasizes Christ Consciousness and something they call Soul Transcendence, which they define as the process of becoming aware of yourself as a soul and as one with God.

I just finished writing about similar concepts for my forthcoming book Vision: Seeing Clearly.

The Gnostic Christians, early followers of Jesus, claimed that any of us could be Christed. It meant receiving the Christ Consciousness. When we become one with God, and the Holy Ghost, we are knowers or seers -- gnostics. The "good news" according to the original Gnostic Gospels was that no intermediaries are required. Everyone can experience God. To me, this is exactly what Buddhists call Enlightenment.

Anyway, tonight's online tele-workshop, as they call it, wasn't about anything "religious," it was about self awareness. How to deal with anxiety, fear, judgment, anger... that type of stuff. How to use simple techniques to overcome old habits, or as they say to reveal your True Self. The techniques are great -- the terminology might be off-putting for some. But, that's my job.

I am determined to express the essence of some of these excellent tools -- whether it's Buddhist mindfulness practice, heretical Gnostic wisdom (read that tongue in cheek because I certainly don't consider Gnosticism heretical), or Science of Mind methods in the non-fiction book I am writing.

I'm enjoying dabbling in a lot of spiritual traditions, including my ancient aliens and Sumerian Shamans, to present a mind blowing perspective on what's really real (as PKD would say.)

Speaking of PKD and AKS, hop on over to the AKS Book Blog and read all about the award and what's next in the ongoing AKS adventures ;) I've got to get back to writing!

Analog Underground

2011-07-29T23:01:00.006-06:00

I just love this! An Analog Revolution... back to the Future, again. Typewriters are having a renaissance! Along with vinyl albums, 35 mm film and not mentioned in the NY article, but another personal fav of mine: fountain pens.

As a writer, I recently had a hankering for a typewriter. At first, I thought about a real vintage model. You know, a black Underwood with the cool round keys like this one. I quickly gave up that idea for two reasons: too expensive now and not really useful. If I'm going to put a typewriter in my library, then it might as well be one I could actually use. Something fun. Talking to my friend Mo, I fondly recalled the portable I had as a teenager, an aqua Smith Corona. Then she sent me the NY mag article (linked in the title above) and lo and behold, it led me straight to a pic of my dream machine.

Here it is, a 70s era SCM "Cougar." I want one! For all I know, my old one could still be in the basement along with my inherited blue and mother of pearl accordion (don't get me going on that!) No, I wouldn't want to type out a book. Think of the problems with THOSE revisions! But, it would be fun to play around with...

just like my pens. Here is a sample of those. The new big Acura dragon (top), my beloved tiger eye Monteverde (left) followed by two Jinhao dragon pens, an ultra fine Jinhao and my bronze/pearl Laban. My new Picasso is on top of my journal. Two favorite inks there, too. The fabulous Caran d'ache "Storm" in it's leaded bottle and the round, inkwell included, Namiki blue. (click to enlarge) Love 'em all!

Kalachakra 2011

2011-07-16T09:29:00.006-06:00

At 9 am (MDT) today, His Holiness the Dalai Lama, concluded the 2011 Kalachakra for World Peace ceremony in Washington DC. But, as always, the Kalachakra is MORE... it is deeply personal, and especially this year, as it also commemorated HHDL's 76 birthday, and included the annual worldwide Dharma Day. Truly an auspicious occasion! Here is the poster, which links to some of the images and videos from the 11 day event.

Thousands gathered for this most memorable event and nearly $6 Million was raised. HHDL and his foundation do not seek financial profit, so after expenses almost two million dollars will be donated to causes that benefit world peace. HHDL was enroute this morning to meet with President Obama at the White House. And, here is the mandala described in the link above.

And, despite how beautiful it is, made of sand and created laboriously by monks during the ceremony, at the end it is simply brushed away... like everything, impermanent. The sand is dumped into nearby water. In this case, the Potomac River, because like everything, the essence remains and the perfect peace of Kalachakra flows with it out into the everyday world. "May it be of benefit," said HHDL as he concluded the ceremony to thunderous applause. Yes, may it.

the Bella Vita

2011-07-06T23:11:00.002-06:00

I really don't like going to the casinos these days. But, here I am being serenaded by local mariachis for my (mumble under breath) birthday. I'm at Route 66, one of our local indian casinos, with my long-time Romero friends. Sophie, seen in the second pic below, absolutely loves the buffet and still enjoys her slots. So, I go. This was actually Sunday, July 3rd, not my actual birthday. I would have preferred to stay home in the A/C and watched the closing arguments in the Anthony trial. Sigh, it's true, I was so caught up in that drama. Devoted a month of afternoons to live testimony on HLN.

Why? Who knows. As I posted on Fbook, others watch fictional TV dramas, this was real life drama. A young mother who probably chloroformed her baby so she could enjoy the bella vita (beautiful life.) She got that tattoo a day or so after her child died (or was killed.) And, now it seems she will have that "beautiful life" she craved. The jury returned NOT guilty. Casey will be a free woman with a million dollar book deal, some say.

I spent years writing my novel. Casey will have a ghost writer. Okay, I too had a ghost writer ;) Mine was rather demanding. He wanted the story told. I did not get a million dollar book deal. I'm not even in the black. Maybe crime does pay.

Waterfall Done!

2011-06-04T09:39:00.012-06:00

Here it is! My new backyard waterfall. Below are more pics on the effort it took. For instance, first a giant crane came into my side yard to lift the 500 pound boulder.

Then the big rock was hoisted over my fence to my backyard.

Two guys carefully lowered the boulder into position. Looks like Julio is holding the big rock ;) Finally, the wider view of the rock with the new landscaping (in the empty area as seen in the previous post below.)
90 second (Sunday morning) video says 90%, but there's quite a few details left. At least you can HEAR and see the waterfall now. Enjoy!

Yard in Progress

2011-05-27T23:11:00.001-06:00

I posted some info about how the yard used to look on Facebook (the link is the title.) It's only about 80% done here. I will add a pic of the water feature after it's installed.

I just realized this will limit my travel for June. I need to tend to the seeds and flowers, and bit of sod that can't be watered via the ditch irrigation. By July, awfully hot. Maybe I will stay put over the summer and then go on an extended trip in the fall.

10 Days left?

2011-05-11T12:50:00.000-06:00

When I posted that comment (question) on Facebook, I wondered what reaction I would get. I thought if a lot of folks knew about this, I'd get some response. I got NONE. Just WTF, basically.

I realize a lot of people just roll their eyes at apocalyptic talk, but if you read my novel you know it begins and ends with Doomsday thoughts. I've always been fascinated with End Times, cryptic Nostradamus prophecy, the Mayan calendar that ends at 2012, and even Revelations. But even I find it incredulous to pinpoint a precise DAY using biblical references. Which version or translation of the bible? and how can two thousand year old material correlate to our Gregorian calendar, adopted around 500 years ago?

Even so I must point out a few weird things: 1) I've been planning a trip to California (for May), but recently (before I heard of this Rapture date), I developed extreme anxiety about earthquakes. I mean waking up in a cold sweat from nightmares involving "the big one." Today I learned this group claims a major earthquake will start the Rapture, which they say occurs on May 21st. Yes, a few days from now. 2) Back in 1988 I received strange messages -- Cosmic "Transmissions" about End Times. I recalled the date being 2012, but when I checked (this morning), the time frame began in 2011 culminating in 2012. Sorry, but that's downright creepy to me.

OBL assassination

2011-05-02T09:11:00.004-06:00

I stayed up into the wee hours last night watching throngs of US citizens, mostly college kids, celebrating our assassination of Osama bin Laden. I posted (a response) over on Facebook: I'm a little uneasy about all the US victory/happy dancing over OBL's assassination. I understand the vengeance motive and the feeling of justice being done, but from a Buddhist/karma perspective celebrating death is really begging for more trouble, as are all vendettas. After all, OBL was on his own vendetta (jihad) for previous perceived crimes by the US. Where does it end? Revenge and vendettas?

Yes, bible thumpers will point to an eye-for-eye and bin Laden was literally shot in the eye, so I guess that makes the murder really rewarding. Is that enough now? No, there are many who are saddened we didn't get to put the head on a stick out on the White House lawn, or serve it up like Herod did St. John's head (on a platter.) Can we just bring the friggin' troops home and and save those Trillions of dollars for people still suffering here in the United States. Do we have to prop up Afghanistan and/or Iraq, even if they don't want us?

AND, if this assassination was done with just a handful of Special Forces guys, why on earth did we spend TEN YEARS, thousand of US lives (more than killed originally in 9/11), and all those trillions anyway? okay, done now. Revel if you must.

Two Second Practice

2011-04-27T08:58:00.003-06:00

I've been listening to a LOT of Pema Chodron audio lately. On one of the sessions she said, "We practice in two-second increments." This made me laugh out loud. But, it's so true. Anyone who has tried to change a habit or lose an addiction can surely relate to this. Cravings are not a day-by-day or even hour-by-hour thing in the beginning -- they can truly be every second, or feel that way. You can't stop thinking about the drug, the cigarette, the drink or just putting something in your mouth when you are trying to diet.

But, all habit change is this way. It's hard. So when I burst out, yet again, with an angry response (to traffic, to something -- ANYTHING -- that bothers me), I have to take a deep breath and gently remind myself, patience. This is the same as in the midst of meditation when the mind gets really busy and we simply notice our thoughts and say to ourselves, "thinking." We don't dwell on whether it's a good or bad thought. Just notice the thinking and put the attention back on the breath.

So, off the cushion, when anger or craving arises, just notice the craving. The truth is any thought or craving will pass in 90 seconds (not two), but you can move through it two seconds at a time by holding your seat -- just staying with the feelings. As Pema says:

Each time you sit still with the restlessness and heat of anger—neither acting it out nor repressing it—you are tamed and strengthened. Each time you act on the anger or suppress it, you are weakened; you become more and more like a walking target. Then, as the years go by, almost everything makes you mad.

(if interested, here is Pema's full explanation of Holding your Seat )

This is probably a good place to clarify that Pema and the mind training teachings do not ask us to "fix" ourselves. We come as we are. And, we do not dwell on failure, we celebrate victories -- no matter how small. Consider the success of your day rather than the failure of missing a session of formal sitting practice. It is important to recognize that mindfulness is in every step (to quote Thich Nat Hanh) and even while walking around, drinking coffee, talking to others, just remember, "I am practicing now."

This works with any effort to end an addiction or quit a habit. When the intense feelings arise and you think you can't stand it. We say, just endure for two more seconds. Take a deep breath. Then remember, in 90-seconds, this too will pass.

So when Pema says, we practice in two-second increments, she is exactly spot on.

A Kindred Spirit Author Interview!

2011-03-19T20:28:00.000-06:00

Here's the AKS Interview in Albuquerque's Alibi for those who haven't seen the twenty postings on Fbook or Twitter ;) Oh, and VOTE for ej Morgan, #45 Q under Art and Lit for Best Local Author!! Do it NOW!!!
If not, then at least buy a book ;) OR eBook (on Amazon.) Someday I'll quit asking, but not yet. Dennis and I SIGNED books Saturday at Title Wave... what? You missed that, too?? We made videos. (no not sex vids, stupid idiotic book promotion videos) and posted them on YouTube. Click to enlarge our flyer:

Scroll down for "BUY" widget for either paperback, OR Kindle format.
ENJOY!!!
Eat, read, sleep ;) (I'll link to the videos soon.)

Equinox UPDATE:
As usual, a big fight broke out at the book signing. Peacenik ej and rightwing NutJob DD cannot see eye-to-eye.

AKS is an eBook!

2011-03-10T08:28:00.007-07:00

Need I say more? for just a few bucks, you can own the hot, new eBook! or get a sample!! If you don't have a Kindle, no problem. You can get the FREE Kindle app for your PC, phone, iPad, whatever... then get a lengthy FREE sample of A Kindred Spirit!
(prologue, ALL of chapter 1, including art of PKD in his chair, and a bit of Chapter 2, too!!) Just do it! Thank you!! Oh, and please post what you think of the eBook!

A Change of Heart

2011-03-05T08:38:00.004-07:00

Remember the 60s Peaceniks? Some of you are too young. Peace"Nik" (Niki) in my story, A Kindred Spirit, tried to recreate the feeling traveling around in her funky Westfalia van, searching for Peace, only to discover it's an inner journey. Pema Chodron, my Guru and favorite author, says ONLY a change of heart can provide ourselves and the world with peace.

Here's my "final answer" to the Million Dollar Question: What is the difference between passion and anger?

First, I have to make the case ;) I said on my Facebook note "No Help" that yelling for peace is not the answer. Even a Peacenik can't clobber someone with her peace sign to change the world situation.

And this fab story, about Angry Faces, told by Pema has stuck with me since I heard it years ago. A guy in prison has TV but no sound. He sees an angry white guy in KKK garb pointing his finger. Later he sees teenagers on a ship, red-faced, leaning over the ship rail screaming and waving Greenpeace signs. Finally, he sees scenes of Washington DC, the domed Capitol building, and inside men in suits with angry red faces, pounding their tables. The prison guard comes by and asks why he doesn't turn on the sound. The prisoner says no need -- doesn't matter if they're wearing KKK hats, peace signs or business suits, they all have the same angry faces.

So, we establish that passion and anger CAN be the same. Now, how are they different? Because anger starts when we harden our hearts. As long as everyone is outraged at everyone ELSE's beliefs or actions, there will always be war. Anger leads to red-faced fighting over our self-righteous points of view. But, it is possible to be Passionate about a change of heart... to opening our heart in a calm, rational way where we learn to LISTEN! And, I say the key is LISTENING not screaming. When I can stop and actually hear what you are saying, and just sit with it awhile, there is a chance we can find common ground. And I can get really passionate about that idea, without an iota of anger, my friend. Let's smoke the Peace Pipe! (yikes -- another case of how our real forefathers had a better idea than the angry red-faced pilgrims who came carrying guns.) And, with that, I'm off to Losar. Today is the Tibetan New Year, a good day to listen, learn and open my heart to new ideas. PEACE! better yet, Namaste!

Otaku

2011-02-11T13:11:00.003-07:00

It's on PhilipKDickfans.com, my book blog, Facebook and now it's HERE: PKD Otaku!! The only remaining PKD 'zine with yours truly featured pages 17 - 22. Check it out! BTW, today is 2.11.2011 -- pretty cool. And this is posting... 10, 9, 8, at 1:11

Errata

2011-02-07T08:08:00.002-07:00

Sorry, I accidently posted the book Errata link to Crypto a few days ago and have been told it screwed up people's RSS feeds when I removed it. So, this is a REAL post, but only to say the Errata for "A Kindred Spirit" is actually on the book blog and that link is: Errata for AKS I also put it in the title here.

This wonky effort will be over soon... it's a final proof/review of errors in the novel before I release the eBook later this month. Yes, exciting: an eBook. And, no Mark, I don't have plans yet for an audio book. I would need my small broadcasting bro to help with that, and he is "indisposed" or detained as it were ;)

Climate Change (aka Ground Hog Day)

2011-02-02T13:11:00.004-07:00

I wish Al (Gore) had never used the term "global warming." Even though the planet is heating up from the greenhouse effect (something first discovered in the 1800's, not something Al invented like the Internet ;) the term "warming" is giving the uninformed the ammo they need to mock and dismiss the whole concept.

Monster snow storms and the Cat 5 Cyclone hitting Australia ARE the result of global warming. When arctic air hits tropical air streams, storms form. That was weather 101. Now, as the ocean and tropical jet streams become even warmer, and arctic air dips further south, storms become larger, and more dramatic. This will continue. And, like the flooding in Pakistan and Australia, there will be more coastal crisis as ocean and sea levels rise. Expect the worst, and sadly there's nothing we can do to stop it now. Experts say that even if we stopped fueling cars and emitting carbon dioxide now, what's in the atmosphere is enough to continue this effect for several years. And at the rate glaciers are melting, the damage appears done. BUT, even if you don't believe a word I said, or you think all this is normal cyclical patterns for Earth, the results are the same-- we're in for it. Sea levels ARE rising, storms ARE getting more intense and much larger, and the climate IS changing. The wild ride is here, and it's warmed up to all of ten degrees here in Albuquerque, New Mexico at midday. Last week fruit was freezing in Florida. Soon you won't need to pay to see mega disaster flicks -- just look out your window. "Whoopee, we're all gonna die!" (So, DD, Niki didn't have to chase down Doomsday, it comes to her door in the Sequel ;)

the Four Limitless Ones

2011-01-21T08:58:00.008-07:00

I attended a talk on the Four Limitless Ones last night. I've heard Pema (Chodron) repeat this buddhist prayer/chant many times but never realized it contains what she also calls the Four Limitless qualities we might all aspire to: loving-kindness (Maitri), compassion, sympathetic joy and equanimity.

Happiness and the root of happiness is considered Maitri. Being free from suffering and the root of suffering is Compassion. Sympathetic joy helps us overcome jealousy at others' achievements and good fortune. Equanimity is the prayer that everyone might be free of passion, aggression and prejudice.

May all sentient beings enjoy happiness
and the root of happiness.

May we be free from suffering
and the root of suffering.

May we not be separated from
the great happiness devoid of suffering.

May we dwell in the great equanimity
free from passion, aggression, and prejudice.

Actually here is the most important concept about cultivating these qualities: "We start with the amount we have, no matter how limited it is, and we begin to nurture what we have, and then it will expand by itself until it's actually limitless." (Pema quote, from this page the Four and Maitri.)
I'll post more in a Facebook note, but wanted to include Buddha and the iPad here ;) (compliments of another buddhist blogger Buddha and the Big C.) This gal knows a little something about ALL the Limitless Ones, given her struggle with stage four breast cancer. Namaste!

Facebook 2.0

2011-01-18T22:01:00.001-07:00

Oh, my... I almost emailed this link, a post called "Goodbye Facebook", to several of my real friends. Not Facebook "friends" but people I actually interact with all the time. Then I stopped. 1) I don't really enjoy being sent gobs of links all the time. I can't keep up with all the blogs and online sites I like to read, much less all the online articles that other people send. 2) I want this link where I can tweet it, FBook it and refer to it as often as I want. ** What LINK? ** Where is it?? ** hang on...

Little preface: I watched the Social Network movie, something I had been really anxious to watch. I was sure I would enjoy it because of Aaron Sorkin's writing, and the docu-drama aspect of the "real" Facebook story. BARF>>> PUKE >>> as the sophmores themselves might say. The story (real or imagined) was so idiotic I couldn't stand it. Then came the Golden Globes and it won the BEST PICTURE ?!?!?! Some say it will win several Oscars, too. So sad. Then I got a tweet from Jack Schafer at Salon with THE link. Vindication, I begin to scream. Someone else -- two of them, at least -- felt just like i did!

Facebook: Nothing more than "a cruel portrait of us: 500 million sentient people entrapped in the recent careless thoughts of a Harvard sophomore."

... we should all delete our Facebook accounts to protest invasion of our privacy and the stupidity of the site in general. Then, just like poster Nichol realized --
even down to her ending (which spoiler or not, you can read NOW.)

"...I’d really like to share this epiphany with my friends.

Hmm… now, how do I do that again? (with Facebook account deleted.) I guess I’ll tweet it. And can someone else share it on Facebook for me?" she says.

HA!! And thus, I blog. Oh, yeah, here's the LINK ;)

Beginner's Mind

2011-01-13T11:11:00.001-07:00

This is a famous book by Shunryu Suzuki called "Zen Mind, Beginner's Mind." It's one of the first Buddhist books I owned in the early 1970s. One of Suzuki's first topics is posture. I bet I rolled my eyes back then at his incredibly detailed description of how to sit, and tilt, and hold our hands -- not to mention his paradoxical references. In my impatient youthful years, no wonder I could never truly get into Zen. All that sitting, which I found unbearably boring, and the incomprehensible koans. But I liked the idea of it enough to continue reading over the years, even when I wasn't sitting. Liked it enough to call myself ZenWoman when I needed a "handle" for Compuserve in 1979. (I discovered Compuserve while working at a TV station back then. First for research and later as a fun diversion.)

Anyway, now I find myself endlessly fascinated by the subtle nuances of how to sit for meditation or stand for yoga. I just posted a note about this on Facebook. I feel compelled to try and explain some of these aspects of Buddhism in hopes of demystifying it. I really hate to see beautiful, helpful practices like meditation and hatha yoga (the physical part of yoga) and T'ai Chi all lumped into some "woo woo" category or to go the way of Islam, where people actually begin to hate it.

I hope with President Obama's call for civility and for us to tone down the vitriolic rheteroic, we can all try. I know it's hard. Even in the midst of writing these pieces I felt the old urge to start name calling and blaming the fundamentalist factions for our problems. But I am part of the problem unless I try to shed light on my own practice, walk my own walk, and make some of my tools accessible to others. You never know when someone is ready and you know what "they" say: When the student is ready, the teacher will appear. We are all each others gurus.

Assault Weapons

2011-01-11T22:03:00.005-07:00

I have tried not to get into controversial subjects -- politics, gun control, debates on God or Christianity -- because I am working on my judgmental nature and anger issues. The Tucson Tragedy has brought all of the above to the forefront. Instead of entering my own commentary on guns, I'm going to link to a favorite blog of mine, The Buddhist Blog . (You can see his other posts after you read the weapons one.)

James is able to convey these ideas in a calm, measured way that I have not yet achieved. Enjoy his post (s). Namaste!

New Year, New Computer (s)

2011-01-05T05:11:00.001-07:00

It's 2011, my intention was to focus on spirituality, but instead I am drowning in technology. I now have four computers. FOUR! Each one tinier than the preceding one: an old desktop with it's new wide-screen monitor, a Vista laptop with whiz bang video card, iPad and now a 4G HTC android phone. Do I need all this? Maybe if I start a book tour this spring. After all three of them will "go with" for touring. The desktop is old, but I still like using a "real" keyboard and large screen when I'm home. I could dock my laptop to that stuff, couldn't I, and get rid of the old "box"? OH, and I bought one of those tiny portable HDs too, so I can back up the old hard drive -- all the more reason to make the laptop the main machine. I love the iPad and don't regret buying it all all. It's great for kicking back and reading online stuff, when the phone screen is too small. Some pages look like crap on the phone... my own included: www.AKSbook.com But the phone is fab for combining all my little handheld stuff into one contraption. It's not just a phone, but MP3, FM radio, mini TV, Skype-capable calling, a HOT Spot for the laptop and iPad, HiDef camcorder, mega pixel camera, little game machine and uses those SD cards to hold lots of music, videos and photos. It's too cool not to have! Wasn't this the goal when PDAs first came into our consciousness? One machine to do all things digital? So that makes me an e-Buddhist? But if I ever go to a cave for contemplation, how will I plug in all this stuff to recharge ;)

Day 31: Core Story

2010-12-31T09:09:00.008-07:00

What central story is at the core of you, and how do you share it with the world? Spirituality. Wait... before any eye rolling or sighing, how would you define that term? Here's a definition I really like: The deepest values and meanings by which people live. So for one person that might be honesty, for another truth seeking, or for HH Dalai Lama simply Compassion.
Thanks to Pema Chodron, I've felt more liberated about embracing my views on spirituality and discussing it this past year. As she says, "It's our practice, not our perfect." That changed everything for me. For years I felt unworthy to discuss how important spirituality and my "Mission" was to me. I felt I was living a lie. Drinking, smoking, a "party girl" for most of my life. Who was I to call myself a Buddhist or a Bodhisattva (In Tibetan Buddhism, a Bodhisattva is anyone who is motivated by compassion and seeks enlightenment not only for him/herself but also for everyone.) Who am I to judge others? (that's my practice and work for 2011...)
But who am I to judge myself? Pema's talks on maitri (self acceptance) have been revolutionary for me. (If you have 5 minutes, have a listen.) How do I share this? Through blogging and writing, for now. It helps me formulate and understand the Dharma (teachings) when I try to explain them in accessible, straight forward ways. I will do more of that in 2011, through this blog and my Warrior's Album (just a tease, for now.) Hopefully in 2011 my nebulous thoughts will become more lucid and helpful to others. Happy New Year MMXI !!

Day 28: Achievement

2010-12-28T11:11:00.000-07:00

My biggest achievement in 2010? Without a doubt publishing my novel. Hands down. It was at least twenty times more difficult and time consuming than I ever imagined, and that was AFTER having a rough draft of nearly 90 thousand words! The editing, the re-editing, the logistics and layout, and hassles of publishing. GADS! But that won't stop me from doing it again in 2011 ;) This time a non-fiction effort. Thanks to NaNoWriMo I have 50K words of rough material so I can start the laborious editing again. Either you love that stuff or you hate it. I guess I love it. As for the current status of AKS book, an eBook will be coming soon and this fun development: book blog

Day 27: Ordinary Joy

2010-12-27T10:38:00.008-07:00

Before I start with the reverb10 prompt, I want to acknowledge I've fallen a bit behind. You know, the holidays, for me both Christian and Buddhist, and much activity for both. I know, NO excuses and also no try, DO! But there are only so many hours in the day and I reached maximum capacity on a few of those days... Anyway, I have been scribbling in my hard copy journals and now I'll round out the year with some blogging. So today Reverb says, "Our most profound joy is often experienced during ordinary moments. What was one of your most joyful ordinary moments this year?" Relaxing. So often I'm on deadline for writing projects, or some event. So when I can finally, truly relax, it's a blissful, ordinary joy. To curl up with a book for pleasure reading, rather than reading something I have to read for my publishing biz. This morning I had to finish an article and even now I'm overdue on reading another person's project, and what I really want to do is read a fun book. But I've told myself when I finish today's "work reading" -- and I will finish today-- I can read whatever I want tomorrow. Ahhh... that is an ordinary joy. Another one was getting in my van and just driving off, with my K9, to some beautiful nature spot. Not a big trip, but just a day drive to relax and absorb some sun and scenery. That's an ordinary joy. What's yours?

Day 23: New Name

2010-12-23T10:00:00.004-07:00

Here's a fun one: "If you could introduce yourself to strangers by another name for just one day, what would it be and why?" I have always had name phobia or angst. My mother gave me a long first name (Elizabeth) and then NEVER used it. She called me by a nickname of my middle name. That was fine until I entered school. Teachers would call out, "Elizabeth" and I never answered. I thought this was cruel of my mother. My aunt always called me "EJ" to solve the problem, I guess. I never used that either. I used the nickname (that shall not be mentioned here)until I was about 35. Then one day I decided I would use my real middle name (I won't say it either, because after all this is about creating a NEW name!) I legally changed my name and dropped the lengthy Elizabethan moniker in favor of E. (rest of name.) Now I only use that as a lower case letter, as in e-name (you know, electronic name.)

I've also created a plethora of other names for myself: ZenWoman, I devised back in the early 1980s when I first needed a "handle" on the computer BBS systems. Zenara, was a New Age favorite of mine, or more recently OzenRishi for online games. One of the funniest re-naming incidents I recall was when a friend declared she was sick of her own identity crisis and wanted to change her name to a series of unpronounceable clicks!

So, if I could use another name, even for a day, what would it be? hmmmmm. Maybe Sherpa Lhamu Zopa, Tibetan for auspicious (or prosperous) female goddess ;) (It's just for one day, how about for Christmas!) ha! Too late, it's TODAY, in Twitterville!

Day 22: Travel

2010-12-22T23:58:00.000-07:00

Here's a good #reverb10 prompt for me, "Travel How did you travel in 2010? How and/or where would you like to travel next year?" I traveled by VAN, my big honkin', totally self-contained (with generator, tanks, kitchen and bath) RV van. That is the only way I will travel now. NO airplanes for me! I do not want to be cooped up in a scary, small space thirty thousand feet in the air anymore -- not with the society we live in now. Plus, I can take my dog in the van. It's the only way to go. As for where, Grand Canyon, national parks, Sedona, AZ (well maybe not in 2011 given the racist attitudes there... same with Utah? they probably don't like Buddhists there ;) Maybe I'll just stay home and change my name :) That's coming next!!

Solstice 2010

2010-12-21T23:21:00.003-07:00

I wish I had asked to take a photo of the shrine that CJ and the nun (Ani)created at Rigdzin last night. It was much more magnificent than this older photo. There were 21 safflower (bright yellow) water bowls, and other offerings for this most auspicious conjunction of the full moon eclipse and winter Solstice. Why is this so "auspicious?" The very word implies fortunate new beginnings. In the Tibetan and Indian cultures, the new year began with the winter Solstice. Seeing a full moon and even more, an eclipse, on that same day is rare. It hasn't happened for nearly 500 years. It IS auspicious!

12 hours later... Well, I had thoughts I would finish this Wed morning, and add some links and more info about Kuntunzangpo and why we celebrate the "original" Primordial Buddha, but the holidays have a life of its (their) own. I had people show up unexpectedly at 8 am, and suddenly it's now 11 am and I have a much to do to make merry here at the house. I'll try to sneak another late night blog in after this crazy day ends...

Day 19: Healing

2010-12-20T00:20:00.000-07:00

I especially like this Reverb Q: What healed you this year? Was it sudden, or a drip-by-drip evolution? How would you like to be healed in 2011? Without a doubt Tibetan medicine has been healing me. I cannot say I am totally healed, so it's more of an evolution and one I will emphasize even more in 2011. But it's definitely working. What I particularly love is the wholistic, shamanistic approach to mind/body. Inner ailments are just as important, if not MORE so that the outer manifestation. Hatred, fear, grasping, and other mental afflictions are the basis, root cause, of all dis-ease. This is also the philosophy of homeopathy, but with Tibetan medicine it is acknowledged even more. Medicine Buddha is both a spiritual and medical practice. Interested in learning more? Just click the Medicine Buddha. Namaste!

Day 18: No Try, DO!

2010-12-18T07:27:00.005-07:00

Bad Reverb10, for saying TRY. Those of us who grew up with Star Wars KNOW we either Do or DO not. Yoda wisdom:

It is self-defeating to say "I'll try." It usually never happens. You know, "I'll try to stop by." yeah, right. "I'll TRY to quit drinking, smoking, eating junk food." You know you won't, not until you declare you WILL do something and give it your all. Commitment is the key to success. If you want to change a habit or develop a new one, it takes extreme determination, not a wimpy "I'll try." Sorry, Reverb, I understand experimenting with things. "I'll try this color, or that scarf." But you asked, "...what happened when you did/didn't GO FOR IT" implying a real effort of some sort. And, if it's worth going for, do it NOW. Why wait til next year? Agree, disagree or have your own opinion? Post away!

Day 17: Lesson Learned

2010-12-17T08:15:00.008-07:00

"What was the best thing you learned about yourself this past year? And how will you apply that lesson going forward?" is today's question from Reverb10.

PEACE is an inner process.

It's the primary message of my novel and that wasn't true until this year. No one can give you happiness or peace, you must find it yourself. The most stunning example to me was in a buddhist teaching where one of the yogis actually searched for difficult trials and tribulations so he could further his practice of patience and remaining peaceful. I still get aggravated over the most insignificant thing. Just this morning I walked outside to enjoy our rare snow-kissed landscape. It was quiet and I wanted to snap a few shots before it began melting. Here came a low rider down the street (at 7 am) blasting rap music. I did not remain peaceful.

Then when I came back in to download the snow pics, I saw this random quote when I opened up my computer: "Have faith in the way things are. Love the world as your self, then you can care for all things." -- Tao te Ching (loosely translated ;) Can I ever do that? Or even have Maitri (self acceptance) as Pema reminds us to work on. sigh... I'm a work in progress. I must accept that for now.

Day 16: Friendship

2010-12-16T08:28:00.002-07:00

Today's Reverb10 prompt is: "How has a friend changed you or your perspective on the world this year? Was this change gradual, or a sudden burst?" My friend Mo has impacted my perspective on complaining -- in a favorable way. Despite her health problems, she rarely complains. I have noticed this and she points out the obvious: complaining does not help.

I remember a few years ago when we both got the "Complaint Free World" bracelets (purple bands.) If you complain you are supposed to move it to the other wrist, even if you have to do this fifty times a day. The goal is to bring attention to how many times we complain. I know at first we were both shifting them around a lot. But, Mo has somehow incorporated this philosophy into her essence now. She doesn't need the bracelet to remind her. She just isn't complaining or bragging about it, either. Good on you, MO! That's a huge accomplishment. I'm going to dig mine out and put it on... NOW!

Next Up: OTHER habit changes and MY Kleishas ;)

Day 15: In 5 minutes...

2010-12-15T09:10:00.005-07:00

Reverb10 says, "Imagine you will completely lose your memory of 2010 in five minutes. Set an alarm for five minutes and capture the things you most want to remember about 2010." This seems particularly fun. Oooops 4... 3... 2... OMG, what do I most want to... it could be gone, just like that.

I want to remember every sight and sound of that PKD Festival in August when I first released my novel and the pre-release party, here at the Andaluz, too! Both were surreal experiences after working on the book so long. In fact, the day the box of books arrived. Seeing 100 copies of my novel was a trip, and every one of my book signings has been a real treat. At each one special friends show up, and I will always treasure those memories.

I enjoyed visiting my Denver friends, laughing and talking about many past and current events. I would not want to forget any of the Buddhist events I attended this year. Local ones, like the Medicine Buddha puja, or my LD experience with Pema Chodron. How about the Mad Hatter tea party in July with Mo and Sister V. That was certainly special. Time spent with Mary, my artist, working on illustrations. Now, due to eye problems, she can barely see and cannot drive. I wouldn't want to forget those times and cherish the art of hers I have. My mini trips to T or C and the lake -- one in June and another in November. I love those get-aways in the van, time on the river or lake. And, Mother's Day with Sophie, making and giving her her Memory Album, and how she made Thanksgiving dinner just for me. It was truly delightful. I think we made a couple of casino runs, too ;) These are the ones that bubble up to the surface in five minutes. If I had more time, I would remember more -- like the faces of all my friends. I'd want to paste them all in a journal... wait, I already do that ;)

Day 14: Appreciation

2010-12-14T09:30:00.005-07:00

Reverb10 asks, "What’s the one thing you have come to appreciate most in the past year? How do you express gratitude for it?" Tough to pick just ONE. I truly appreciate the freedom I have thanks to my gamble (investment) in my government job. I stayed put and it paid off. Now I have early retirement and the ability to do things I truly love -- like writing, T'ai Chi and other hobbies. I would say Freedom is number one, but without good health that wouldn't really matter. So I have to say during the past year I most appreciated my health and mobility. I am truly grateful to feel good, breathe freely, walk, and even run if I want. My knees are not hurting, my teeth are not aching, I can see, hear, dance, do T'ai Chi and probably even skate if I tried.

I truly appreciate health. It's not all luck or a fluke that I feel good. Like any other success, it takes effort. I exercise, move around a lot, walk the dog, I quit smoking nearly four years ago (yes, Feb 2007.) I often calculate how many "cigs" I have not smoked. At ten a day (which is about what I smoked when I stopped), that's around 14,000 cigarettes NOT smoked. And, I'm told at this point my lungs have fully recovered. Have my arteries? I'm working on that with better diet and 10,000 steps a day. I often wear my pedometer and try to hit 10,000 steps. That's about five miles. If I don't walk, then I do yoga or pilates, something to keep moving. My doctor laughs because I was far from a health nut for many years. I was more the "Party Queen." Now I find pleasure in feeling healthy and active, not sucking on cigarettes or getting drunk. I give thanks every day and celebrate LIFE!

Day 13: Action

2010-12-13T07:57:00.004-07:00

Reverb10 says, "When it comes to aspirations, it’s not about ideas. It’s about making ideas happen. What’s your next step?"

I'm pretty action oriented. I get up and get things done. It takes motivation to schedule yourself over and over at local book signings where if you're lucky a handful of people show up. But I must admit seeing the sign with my name on it Sunday was eerily reminiscent of the dream I had TEN years ago. In a dream I saw a sign, much like this, only it said "A Kindred Spirit" by EJ Morgan. That dream caused me to change the title of my novel and use my initials.

I made it happen. I could have just acknowledged the dream and then let it fade into the shadows, but to me it was truly a SIGN, an incredible metaphor that I needed to manifest the book. I did. So as Reverb asks, what is your NEXT step?

Well, I had another dream recently. I saw three more books -- a series. I saw the covers. I am going to manifest those books, too. And I've also noticed that two "guide books" have come along; books that I did not search for, but that just showed up. Each one has a year's worth of prompts and exercises. I could wait for 2011 to begin working with them, but I'm not. I'm starting today. That is my action!

Day 12: Integration

2010-12-12T23:22:00.003-07:00

Reverb says, "Body Integration: This year, when did you feel the most integrated with your body? Did you have a moment where there wasn’t mind and body, but simply a cohesive YOU, alive and present?"

Integration, book and body, is a concept I deal with frequently. Actually, body integration is easier for me than book. What does that mean? Because I meditate, do shamanic vision quests, T'ai Chi, yoga and use self-hypnosis, I "get" body integration. I often feel merged not only mind and body, but with the cosmos. (Now you see why I kind of buried this post ;) Call me a kook, but clearly if there's a prompt dealing with this, I'm not alone in these thoughts.

BOOK integration. Writing. I tend to segregate my writing. Spiritual here, daily journaling there, creative or fiction writing someplace else. I want integration in my writing and journaling. I've said it before, but I am going to make it happen in 2011. ONE BOOK, ONE BODY.

Day 11: Things

2010-12-11T09:09:00.007-07:00

Oh boy, here's today's #reverb10 prompt: What are 11 things your life doesn’t need in 2011? How will you go about eliminating them? How will getting rid of these 11 things change your life?

Eleven, you say? Does a single bag of stuff count as one thing? First, these bags of paper and miscellaneous bric-a-brac must go. Brown paper grocery bags, or those new reusable kind, have devolved into "storage" for junk. With one or two per room there's probably 11 of those, alone. Then there are:
2) stacks of magazines 3) too many books (I love books, but yes we can have too many) 4) unsorted junk mail and other PAPER (old tax records) 5) clothes (stuff to keep needs to be on hangers and the rest must GO! donate or toss) 6) old jewelry (not jewels, but "junk" jewelry I've collected through the years) 7) pens (you have no idea how hard it is for me to say that, but truly too many, along with their refills, ink bottles) Why can't I just have my most collectible ones in wraps and a couple of cheap ones for purse and desk? 8) outside boxes with more stuff that has accumulated. How to get rid of all that in 2011? Just buckle down, sort, donate or toss. It shouldn't be that hard, but it's making time to do it; making junk removal a top priority next year. I commit to that! My life will be more efficient and happier with more space to breathe.

Now, these last three must be something other than physical "stuff."

9) mental garbage -- useless thoughts and wasted energy thinking about things that are either none of my business or things I can't control. let that go!

10) too much TV -- a little is okay, but I have become a 24 hour news junkie. I don't need that in 2011. It's stressful and unproductive.

11) crappy food -- I could cook more and eat better. More veggies, healthier meals. I dropped sugar-water sodas years ago. I drink unsweetened tea. I don't eat trans-fat, but I still eat too much fast or restaurant food. Now it's time to make my own healthier meals in 2011.

Day 10: Wisdom

2010-12-10T07:48:00.004-07:00

#reverb10 asks, "What was the wisest decision you made this year, and how did it play out?" My first thought is, "What category? Health, Finances or Relationships?" As far as my health, which really is the most important matter of all (because without it, we have nothing) is to keep moving. I walk, do yoga and T'ai Chi Chih again, some pilates, and stretches. Staying fit is my wise choice for health. Next year I will add more veggies and work harder to improve my "fuel." My wisest financial decision was... well, I made one. But I don't think it would be too wise to describe it on the internet ;)

Actually, as I settle into thinking of true Wisdom, my wisest choice was probably participating in the Pema Chodron conference in October. Absorbing her extreme wisdom, which affects ALL areas of life, has had a lasting effect on my other choices. She reminds us to breathe, not to take things so seriously, to listen to our bodies and treat ourselves and others with respect and stay mindful. That's pretty wise.

Day 9: Reverb Prompt "Party"

2010-12-09T09:18:00.003-07:00

These guys may not look like the penultimate partiers, but they are the Penultimate Dickheads and this is the gathering that "rocked my socks off" in 2010. WHY? Because after years of working on my novel "A Kindred Spirit" where Philip K. Dick is a central character, I attended the first Philip K. Dick Festival and held the Intergalactic debut of my novel there! That truly rocked my socks OFF!

I drove over 450 miles in the van, with my dog, to get there. I must say I was disappointed at first when I didn't see Woodstock-size throngs of folks covering the countryside, but the small group that did show up were hard-core Dickheads. They bought my book, and I forged friendships that extend beyond the sci-fi/metaphysical realm. Some of them are currently helping me with Q and A interviews about my novel.

Party HQ was a sprawling biker bar called Roy's "Last Shot" on a rural mountain road in between Denver and Boulder. We ate hearty food: burgers, steaks, pizza and listened to music by a group called Ubik, named after one of PKD's novels. The juxtaposition of the cerebral PKD fans with the Roy's rowdy, rugged bikers was something to see. But in the end, some of those bikers remembered reading PKD stories in their youth and actually joined us for pizza and discussions. It was a unique experience and a dream come true for me watching my private musings about Phil now perfect-bound and in the hands of the guys who knew him best.

Day 8: Bodhi Day (Beautifully Different)

2010-12-08T08:08:00.006-07:00

I knew that no matter what the Reverb10 prompt was for today, I was going to use it to describe my relationship to awakening, becoming a Bodhisattva (anyone who is motivated by compassion and seeks enlightenment not only for him/herself but also for everyone.) Today is Bodhi Day, the 8th day of the 12th Lunar month -- the day Buddhists believe that Prince Siddhartha Gotama experienced enlightenment and found the roots of suffering after sitting and meditating under a Bodhi tree 2500 years ago.

How does this relate to the prompt? Being Buddhist is certainly the primary way that I perceive myself as different. Not better or worse than others -- just different. Beautifully different is perhaps the best possible term I can think of. All those working years I was hesitant to declare myself Buddhist, especially surrounded by rabid Catholics. Not quiet, reverent, Compassionate Catholics, but RABID, opionated ones where I worked. Now, writing at home, free from government shackles and self-censorship, I can blurt it out. I've considered myself Buddhist since 17, and officially so (taking the vows) in 1990, twenty years ago. Even tho I call myself ZenWoman and Bodhi day is primarily a Zen observance, I follow the Tibetan Vajrayana tradition, Kagyu lineage.

I am far from perfect. I make mistakes daily, still get angry even though I try hard not to, but as Pema Chodron tells us: "that's why we call it our Practice" not our Perfect Buddhism. I am practicing -- more than I used to. And that, dear reader, is what I feel makes me beautifully different. Namaste!

Day 7: Community

2010-12-07T12:12:00.001-07:00

Where have I found Community? I was going to write about my virtual and actual Sanghas (Buddhist communities), but since tomorrow is Bodhi Day, I'll save my Buddhist thoughts til then. I've certainly felt a sense of community with the Romero family over the past year. Here we are a year ago celebrating the holidays. Sophie's kitchen is a place where we enjoy food, friendship and certainly a sense of community. Dan's dining room is another. Sure wish I had snapped a shot of our recent pot roast dinner. We ate, laughed and enjoyed talking about books, wine and other shared interests.

As for 2011, I really see myself delving deeper into my spiritual groups. I will be working on a non-fiction book about religion, philosophy and spirituality. I have three local Kagyu Buddhist groups plus an online Sangha and having renewed my commitment to T'ai Chi Chih, this is the connection I see growing even stronger in the year ahead. Perhaps a little more subdued. Less emphasis on wine and intoxicants, more meditation.

Day 6: Make

2010-12-06T09:22:00.002-07:00

Reverb asks us, "When was the last time you made something? What was it? Is there something you want to make?" Yes, as a matter of fact there is. I'm headiing out again today for some mats (photo frame mats) to finish a project I'm working on for my elderly friends. They have a life time of photos -- Ross was a professional photographer for many years. But, like many of us, his work is in boxes gathering dust. I already made copies of some of the best ones, and now with some matting, I'm helping them making Christmas gifts of these. Some of the people in them will be surprised, delighted I think. I'm also making a special montage for the photographer and his lovely wife, but they don't know that yet;) That will be part of their holiday gift this year. (They don't have web, so won't see this.)

The last thing I made was also for them. A pumpkin pie. For Mother's Day I made Sophie (his wife) a memory album. Some of these photos can go in there, also. I made quite a few artsy things last year, handmade journals, multi-media art pieces, but this year I really focused on making only one thing: my book, my novel. Now with it done, I can make a few things for the holidays and as always, I'll be making web pages, or entries on them at least.

Day 5: Letting Go

2010-12-05T10:56:00.009-07:00

I just signed the Reverb10 contract, donated to the effort and now I will devote this Crypto blog to the cause for the remainder of December. Why? Coming off of nanowrimo and writing 50 thousand words is a powerful process. I'm in the habit of daily writing and don't want to lose that habit. It's a good one. I pretty much found my groove of about 1250 per day. 1600 or 1800 was hard, but I could generally hit 1250 without breaking much of a sweat. Reverb suggests 750 per day on their daily prompt. And so far, I love the prompts!

My friend Mo sent the link and it's so in sync with my current thoughts, it seemed like a perfect plan for ending a year and a decade. I'll start with Prompt #1 which was to sum up this past year (2010) in a word. I selected the word RELEASE back in January. I wanted to release my novel, my anger, some of my old habits and expectations. I also said my only goal for the year was to "let go." So how syncronicitious is that! Happens to be our Day 5 Prompt. I did complete and publish my novel in 2010. (References below and on the book and blog: www.AKSbook.com) I've worked on my anger issue all year. Have I released it? Not completely, but I am making progress. Old habits and expectations? I am using various Buddhist techniques on all these issues: Tibetan healing practices, meditation, mindfulness, and writing therapy (like this.) Letting go involves so much -- expectations of myself, others, and finding new feelings. It's a process, a practice. When I started practicing T'ai Chi Chih again this year, I truly realized everything is a practice. As Pema Chodron says, "Grappling with the teachings IS our practice." If we can make a little headway we should feel gratitude and keep going. The goal is improvement, not perfection.

Everyone is our Guru

2010-11-12T14:32:00.003-07:00

Did that get your attention? For nearly forty years (really!) I have thought about Buddhism, did a lot of in depth reading about it, then actually took the vows of Refuge and became a Buddhist 20 years ago, and have loosely practiced on and off since then. During all that, a concept I could never come to terms with was "guru worship." There was nothing that really compelled us to worship Buddha (the historic Shakyamuni one-who-became-enlightened-turned-Buddha.) So, why would we worship some earthly teacher or "guru?" It was the one thing that really kept me at a distance from the Dharma of Buddhism-- until this last retreat.

When I listened to and truly heard Pema Chodron's description of why we should be grateful to everyone-- especially the people in our lives who "bug" us the most-- something clicked and I finally understood the concept of teacher-mentor-Guru. The real Guru is not Buddha, but the person who pushes your buttons. It all goes back to the same concept as practicing off the cushion.

It is easy to meditate and be a "good" Buddhist practitioner while sitting on a cushion at a retreat or at the Dharma Center. But how good is that practice in every day life? Especially when the person that bugs the most is in your face, saying something that makes those little hairs prick up on the back of your neck and your face turn red. That is the real test of one's practice. Can you be compassionate, share loving-kindness and generosity of spirit with that person? Much harder... darn near impossible. That person is your Guru! We don't curse at him or her, we must thank them... or truly get on your knees, or better prostrate and bow to that person. That is your true teacher.

The most difficult, trying times are the real practice. Pema says if we can learn to just wait a second or two before we scream, curse, slap someone or worse, there is hope we can expand that time to ten seconds, thirty seconds and get this. She says if we can get to the point where we don't react for 90 seconds, then we're home free because our physical reaction changes after 90 seconds. Pema says she actually learned about the 90-second Rule from Dr Jill Bolte Taylor, a Harvard-trained brain scientist, who actually suffered a stroke and later wrote a book about it. Dr. Taylor says, "For 90 seconds, I can watch this happen; I can feel a physiological response develop and then watch it go away. After that, if I continue to feel that fear or that anger, I need to look at the thoughts I am thinking that are re-stimulating that circuitry that is resulting in me having this physiology over and over again." Anyway, the point being we can control our reaction time, but it takes practice-- just like the practice of Buddhism. Everything is our practice!

This particular "Pema presentation" was crystal clear to me. All of it, from the idea of waiting and training ourselves to avoid instant reactions. I learned not to throw things (in anger) at some point, so I know it can be done. 2) that our mood and physiology actually changes after 90 seconds. I believe that, too. And, finally that everyone -- all those people who are driving up and down my street, the ones outside yelling right now, even the woman who took my camp spot, ALL OF THEM are my teachers. Thank you Gurus!! Namaste!

Those pics are from the new Buddhist Dharma Center Stupa in T or C (New Mexico.) It's also a Karma Kagyu center and features a Medicine Buddha image (same one I used on my facebook note.)

Nano 2010

2010-11-01T22:01:00.001-06:00

Day One is done. 1828 words posted, coherent ones, too! Actually plan to devote each day's quota to a memorable event for my Warrior's Album. No idea what I'm referring to? Doesn't really matter. The only people I know who read this know, or have some idea. If you don't and care to, then YOU let ME know. Otherwise, I'll expend my energy this month on Zero Draft new NanoWrimo writing and promoting my novel which was written during past nano cycles and edited during EdMo. National Novel Editing Month. That's in March. First we write in November, then we edit (well hopefully in January and February) but have lots of company in March. Will this be my pattern every year from now until ?? Maybe. I'm one of 150,000 other wrimos this year. I'm also deeply into my Kagyu "Klan" Buddhist practice with local and online Sangha. Some of my nano stories will explain that. So, that's what I'm doing for the next 30 days... See ya on Facebook and Twitter, and as always www.AKSbook.com

Always begin with a big bang...

2010-10-14T11:30:00.005-06:00

My novel starts with "the Big Bang" and with 25 days to go, Conan is already at it:

Final Tree Work

2010-10-08T15:33:00.000-06:00

So you think that's a tree? Ha! It's just one giant limb of my enormous cottonwood that used to stand over 100 foot tall. That limb was so large, and so dangerous that PNM came to remove it. You'll see...
now it's just a stub.
Really, that giant limb was attached to that remaining stub. This tall, skinny branch was the last one. Here's a closer view -- And, once that one was down, this is how the remaining tree structure looks.
It will stay like this until I build my tree house/aerial writing room/star gazing platform in the spring.

Tree Cutting

2010-09-30T15:11:00.007-06:00

Tree cutter looks small. No, tree is very large. He is about to take down the branches on that limb... watch... okay there's a big branch just hanging by ropes. He and helpers drop it to the ground. They do this several times. Izzi and I stay in house or side yard. Then when it's safe and over, Izzi goes out to investigate. Look at her versus size of debris! At end of day, look at the same area where the cutter was standing-- GONE! (click to enlarge pic) Once he does this a few more times, my huge, dead cottonwood will be topped and next spring it will be the base for a new star gazing observatory! Maybe high-rise writing room!

Case and the RazorGal

2010-09-14T09:33:00.005-06:00

Oh WOW! Here I am with one of my long-time favorite authors, William Gibson, at the public library Zero History talk/tour. In this pic he is signing my old, tattered copy of Neuromancer!! I asked, and he signed it: "To ZenWoman, a real RAZOR GIRL, best, Wm Gibson 2010 " OMG, I love it and have a pic thanks to my new BFF Riann. (never dreamt you would send pics so FAST! U R the bomb and a RazorGirl, too!!) For those who don't want the entire RazorGirl history, here's a brief quote about his original Razor, Molly:

William Gibson's Neuromancer is the original and still definitive text of cyberpunk fiction. No character is more beloved by cyberpunk fans than Molly, the original "razor girl." Among Molly's cybernetic augmentations are surgically inset mirrorshades which seal her eye sockets, "ten double-edged, four-centimeter scalpel blades [in] housings beneath [her] burgundy nails" (Gibson, 1984, p. 25), and a jacked-up nervous system for "the reflexes to go with the gear" (1984, p. 147). She also carries "a fair amount of silicon in her head" (1984, p. 34) -- not exactly the most feminine place in which to accommodate one's silicone augmentations ;) but these enhancements make her faster, tougher, and stronger than any of the male characters of the novel, none of whom sport cyborg augmentations to the same degree as hers.

YEAH BABY!!! Razor GALS Forever!!
I'll add another pic later and write up more about the event, too. Just had to get this posted ASAP so I can tweet and Fbook it! I also got my Zero History signed and my old Burning Chrome (his first stories!!) Thanks BookWorks and ABQ/BC Library and especially my pic-takin' pal! (and of course, JC who went with.) ps - Case was the protag in Neuromancer, but Molly was my early inspiration as a female hacker!! (think Lisabeth Salander, but the ORIGINAL!)

an End Point...

2010-09-11T09:11:00.001-06:00

Everything needs an end point. A period. A way to indicate this thought has ended, and a new sentence, thought, or phase is beginning. For me, the novel-writing and editing phase of AKS had to end. It was done, over due. Yes, I could have tweaked for another week, but I had a feeling that seven days later I would still feel as unfinished as my story of Unfinished Business. I would feel worse, missing yet another deadline -- another unmet Equinox release.

I wanted the book to be done in the Spring, released on March 20. The disclaimer says Vernal, not Autumnal, Equinox. I left it as a reminder of time passing. I hope to have a final book in my hand come 9:09 pm, September 22. If a batch is printed early this coming week, it's still possible. If I had waited, kept tweaking, another milestone would have passed.

Oh, I can hear those critics now. "But isn't it more important for it to be right?" NO, actually it's more important to finish something. How many people are walking around with books in their head that will NEVER see the page? How many people say "some day" I'm going to write that novel, take that trip, stop smoking, quit drinking, whatever. I am here to tell you perfectionism and procrastination are worse than a few missing punctuation marks. I truly believe that. If there are too many remaining errors in the book, I'll quietly upload a text revision in six weeks, and few people will know or realize it even happened. If I had waited, missed another major milestone, my spirit would have been crushed. That is not so easily repaired.

So on this emergency 911 date, nine years have passed since the terror attack that continues to haunt everyone. My work, on A Kindred Spirit, began on a September day a few years before that. I will not be haunted. I am letting go, moving on. The TIME IS NOW for me to release this book. It's a point in time. What I was able to say and write at this point. Hopefully in the future I can write a better book. This one, however, is done.

Make it Stopppppppp...

2010-09-05T10:28:00.000-06:00

My god, really, look at that Errata List. It's a mile long... and no time to even explain or evaluate right now. Just edit, fix, post, review. It's goes on and on. No holiday weekend here. WORK!!! Last chance to make this book the best it can be.

Don't Panic over FDO!

2010-08-29T17:56:00.003-06:00

PLEASE don't judge the AKS book by it's FDO. In other words, I know the early release sucks. It's riddled with errors. PLEASE trust that I have many people who are very detailed editors, proof-readers, grammarians, fact-checkers, Dick-heads and all the gross mistakes will be fixed. Many already have been in my working copy.

Let me explain again, to attend the PKD Festival I had to rush a proof copy, basically an advanced reader copy, as the FDO Limited Edition. This was guaranteed to have errors. This is why I either gave them away or sold them cheap. Relax! The book is under extreme scrutiny.

I also knew someone would come out swinging about use of PKD or someone in the book. It's FICTION! I have a legal advisor and Editor. We have good advice on what we can and can't do. Fictional characters are just that -- products of my imagination. I may have been inspired by real people, but no one in the book is REAL! As my Editor says, "No one. Not even Phil." After all, my version of Phil is in the afterlife.

PLEASE check the Errata Sheet and send in any corrections, mistakes, typos, or anything confusing you find as you read the pre-release Dick-head copy (the FDO version.) Know that I am working long hours, as are my army of readers and editors, to make this a great final product. DON'T PANIC!

Penultimate Dick-heads

2010-08-18T20:20:00.004-06:00

Final thoughts on the FEST: It was a small gathering, but what we lacked in number we compensated for in knowledge and commitment. In other words, QUALITY not quantity, baby! The creme de la creme of PKD fans and scholars were there. For you non-Dicks, The Penultimate Truth is the title of one of Phil's novels. One 'zine writer (Perry Kinman) came from Japan! Frank Hollander, the penultimate PKD collector, came from Seattle. Some made the pilgrimage to the grave site at Fort Morgan (a few hours from Nederland.) Long-time fans came from Minnesota (Patrick Clark) and Missouri (Laura Entwhistle.) There were scholars: Sam Umland from Nebraska, several from California, including the dynamic duo of Gill and Davis. And others from Colorado and the great Southwest. Between the fest, my pre-release party, promo copies and sales, at least 65 FDO copies are now in circulation. I even sold one at a rest stop on I-25 (thanks to my van window screen ad.)

In an interview, Michael Bishop (who wrote my favorite PKD homage The Secret Ascension ) once said:

Philip K. Dick didn't write science fiction at all. He wrote vividly dramatized and paranoiacally imagined narratives about his own bodily involvement in, and psychic estrangement from, the major U.S. cultural neuroses of the 1950s, 1960s, and early 1970s... I would even go so far as to say that Dick was a mainstream novelist wholly successfully disguising himself as a science fiction writer.

So, in a way, it's hard to imagine how the festival could have been any better. All of us who attended are glad we did and feel like a secret society of Penultimate Dick-heads. Shhh, we have a secret meeting place, too. FDO on Fbook ;) More pics are posted there. OH, and Please don't forget to send your feedback on the FDO edition. You can email, tweet (#aksbook), call, or post on the Errata Sheet. Just send it no later than Labor Day, as I edit the final edition. Thanks again.

Live Blogging @ the PKD Fest

2010-08-15T08:02:00.002-06:00

Now includes Day II: Well, here I am at the Festival in REAL time. No, that's not me. That's Patrick Clark, the FDO Guest of Honor -- an early, original PKD fan. I'm behind the camera snapping pics and writing. Events didn't begin until closer to noon and we're several speakers behind schedule. Frank Hollander has been talking for 90 minutes and sorry, but even Dickheads don't have this level of attention span for fan collection minutiae. But he does have the "holy grail" item that I won't reveal until I hunt down and buy. (See pics on FDO in the AKSbook FBook area.) Perry Kinman came all the way from Japan(amazing!) Finally we got to listen to Patrick Clark and Erik Davis and David Gill, and other speakers. There's a very small group here today, but I had a fabulous time at lunch with John Fairchild (who helped Paul Williams in the mid 80's with the PKD Society newsletters) and also edited some of the "Selected Letters" and Patrick Clark, who still publishes a Phil 'zine called PKD Otaku. He said his old 'zines are online, so here's a sample Issue #11. I would love to have this PKD Critical Interpretations by Sam Umland, who is here, but look at the price! Even $100 for Kindle version!

Sat Morning Update from icy cold van: I stayed in the lot at Roy's on 119. Great, but no elec or heat (now in the am.) Can't run the propane for frig or heat because I'm at such an angle the frig won't work. I feel drunk walking around, the van is at such an angle. (van? see pics below) Anyway, I'm running the generator for power (to email and make coffee) I'll be heading to the Gilpin Library around Noon or 1 pm for the afternoon program. It promises to be great. And as I thought, Patrick Clarck was wonderful Friday. Brought tears to my eyes -- his description of his long-time relationship with Phil. Erick and Gill talked Exegesis... that needs an entire blog post. I'll do that after today's presentations.
Finally, BOOKS, you ask. How are book sales? Meager. With less than 30 folks here you can imagine. sigh... but it's a great group and I know it will generate a lot of buzz. All these guys have active roles in the PKD Universe. and guess what, so far they like it!!

In fact, notice that Erik Davis (author of Techgnosis, Visionary State, and a consultant on Linklater's adaptation of A Scanner Darkly) has MY book, my novel lying on the table and referred to me during his remarks! I will post more on FBook later today. I have limited "juice" here in my make-shift camp zone. More soon! Sun, 8 am 8-15-2010

Gearing Up for PKD Fest

2010-08-06T10:14:00.004-06:00

Gearing up literally! Just got off the eBike, making sure it's ready to go and I can ride up those Colorado inclines. That's why one needs peddle assist-- at the Canyon last fall and for mountain riding, sorry, but I need help! This will come in handy when the van is parked a few miles from the main festivities.
See that new back window! (sure, click the photo, it will enlarge some) Lookeee at it and the URL on the window and above on the van. AKSbook.com It's almost ready. For now, just a splash page, but within a few days a book promotion site, complete with book blog, FDO forum (other discussions, too) and by the end of the month, places to BUY THE BOOK. So for now, I'm getting ready for the trip and celebrating this weekend with my friends, then it's OFF to the Phil Fest with those Limited Edition FDO copies. It's really real and happening now!

100 books

2010-07-30T23:33:00.003-06:00

Oh, I wish I could start posting to the new AKSbook.com But for now, stay here with me. This is a post I will never be able to recreate -- the feeling of getting several boxes of books, but all one hundred of them with my name on them. First copies of my novel arrived (actually on July 29)! These are what I affectionately call the FDO Limited Edition (For Dick-heads Only.) I thank David Hyde for use of that term. He was the creator of the original FDO 'zine back in the day. He has blessed, and is now participating in, our new FDO Group on Fbook. (go check it out, even join up!) I have the pleasure of saying that Tessa Dick has joined our group. She is the fifth and final wife of Philip K. Dick, the subject of our group discussion and upcoming festival. Yes, we're all heading to Nederland Valley (wherever the heck that is, a canyon on Highway 119 in Colorado, near Boulder) to participate in two 1/2 days of Phil-phun. We're Phil-fans and we have Phil-phun (Dick-head humor.) I'll be selling as many of these 100 FDOs as possible there... come buy one!

What's Really Real?

2010-07-22T21:49:00.000-06:00

My novel is being printed right now! It's the weirdest feeling. I felt sick when the upload was underway. I've calmed down, but only because it's a Limited Edition run. I know I can still fix flaws before it's truly published and placed into the worldwide distribution system. I cannot explain how unnerving this is. It's been mine for so long. My story. Now the world is going to scrutinize it, examine it, judge it. I really understand why Harper Lee and JD Salinger went underground.
I wanted to share this because the feeling was unexpected. I don't hear other writers telling this side of it. Maybe they do. Send me a link in comments if you see blog posts or articles on other authors freaking out. Anyway, a box of FDO (for Dick-heads only) books will arrive by the end of the month. I will stare at the box and say, "Is this really real?" A box of my books? Holy Mushroom, Batman! I could sure use some of that PKD Salvation in a spray can about now ;)

Two Weeks!

2010-07-18T08:28:00.003-06:00

Sorry about the lack of blogging and tweeting, but I had only one choice: finish editing and formatting the novel. Any available time, and some culled from not sleeping, have been spent trying to make this book the best it can be. At least the best this initial FDO edition can be. The Limited Edition FDO (For Dickheads Only) copies will be here in two weeks. And that's after I finish some final tweaks today and tomorrow and upload the final copy.
Yeah, I know, I was going to do that last week, but I continued to find spelling and formatting errors. So, this is where it stands now. I assure you this initial run must arrive in two weeks so I can share with friends and then get on the road for the PKD festival in Colorado. I'll post a better update AFTER that upload! Just wanted to say that soon the new book blog and and a lot of tweets will ensue! And, Happy BD KD!

proving my legitimacy

2010-07-03T18:06:00.003-06:00

One of the things I truly hated about working for government was justifying my existence. For those who don't know, a significant percentage of government workers really are worthless "bumps on a log." They lack incentive or initiative, probably because they've been beaten down by arrogant supervisors or politicians.

On any given day, I could walk into my office in a cheerful mood, ready to accomplish something, and immediately be attacked by some ass who wasn't sure I was earning my pay. So instead of being productive, I would spend the day proving what I had done over the past week, month, or year. It was demoralizing.

I swore when I retired from government I would never waste my time accounting for my work or actions again. Wrong! I spent an inordinate amount of time a few months ago justifying a dental claim. And, now, with the novel, I've had to justify and explain myself to bankers, lawyers and publishers. I am sick of this. So sick, in fact, I wanted to toss the book and all the legal BS into the trash and just forget it.

It seems no matter what we do, from traveling to writing to just living, we are constantly forced to prove our legitimacy and justify our actions. I hate it! I want a real Independence Day. I vow not to explain myself or my actions, not once tomorrow, July 4th!

AKS -- when??

2010-06-12T09:39:00.002-06:00

Oh, I wish I could give you a solid answer. You can see it's getting close... the cover is done, the inside pages are still being edited. When I resized the book for uploading, it became a formatting nightmare. Art work and sketches flying off the page, my once perfect pages (they way they looked) a disaster. And, the gals (Mo and Kay, my editors) are combing over it with an extra fine-tooth one. That is fabulous, cause they don't miss a lick! Hopefully it will be error free, and sans my sick cliches, when ya'll finally see it.

For now, just gawk at the PKD Festival site and I assure you when I've seen a good galley (PROOF COPY) I'll be shouting from the roof tops! Oh, check out the PKD man in the maze vs. little alien. The cover on the right is final! Now, what font for interior? Does anyone want to suggest a font they like for reading novels? Garamond (12 pt) is receiving mixed reviews. Now is the time, while I'm still formatting. After the Solstice, it will be too late, baby.

Intergalactic Release!

2010-05-26T22:28:00.002-06:00

At 7:30 tonight, A Kindred Spirit (my metaphysical novel about Philip K Dick) was discussed on KGNU radio in Colorado! This was the first public announcement about the book. After learning that the first U.S. Philip K Dick Festival would be held in August of this year, I decided that would be the perfect venue for the official release. Luckily, PKD festival organizer Dave Hyde agreed. So, we determined the International -- or Intergalactic Release -- would take place in Nederland, CO (sort of like Neverland, right?) just a few miles from Boulder.

Hyde spent quite a bit of time explaining the premise of the novel, and even used my disclaimer that "Any resemblance to reality is purely coincidental." I'm tired from a long day of finishing up the cover art, and talking to the publisher, or I would add more. I taped his comments. For now, I'm just thrilled to have such a perfect way to release the novel. We decided today to create an FDO Limited Edition for the festival. FDO, of course, is For Dickheads Only, in remembrance of Hyde's fun Phil 'zine. yay!

Writing

2010-05-17T08:08:00.004-06:00

I could write a book, on writing a book. In fact, I think that may be my opening line if I ever actually speak publicly about my novel. I ask myself IF I really want to publish and WHY. Most people say, "for money." That's never been my motivation. Maybe if I was hungrier and desperate I would swallow my pride and conform to more traditional methods. Let some NY editor, or Chicago-born AP stylist, tear it apart and restructure it as the next blockbuster bestseller.

No, I simply want to tell the story. It's a story that will not leave me alone, that I haven't been able to walk away from and one that must be told. It may not have a blockbuster ending, and I may take too many liberties with viewpoint, but if I don't release it, get it out there -- told-- I will never rest or move on in life.

A Kindred Spirit (my novel) is myth-based fiction, a journey. My heroine, Niki, does indeed venture forth from the common day world of Ottumwa into a realm of supernatural wonder: fabulous forces are encountered and victory is hers. She does help release the earth-bound spirits and in doing so has the basis for her own Peace Treatise. It's a quest for meaning, purpose and to learn "what's really real."

That is where Phil comes in. Even though some of my friends still say it's about Phil, and Philip K. Dick is a central figure, the real story is about finding purpose and meaning in life. That was Phil's Mission, that was what drove Bishop James Pike to his so-called heretical search in the desert and that's what motivates Nicole J. Perceval (aka Niki.)

I always wrote it using Joseph Campbell's "Hero's Journey" model and later Chris Vogler's bible "The Writer's Journey." But calling it a mythological journey seems too heavy for a lot of folk, so I've been saying, "It's a metaphysical mystery, a ghost story with a mission" or things like that.

So, yes, I will publish it. I have to. But, next to quitting smoking, this process has been the hardest damn trip imaginable, fraught with more danger than Niki's journey. Writing itself is hard, but editing and publishing -- that is pure demonic hell.
"We shape clay into a pot, but it is the emptiness inside that holds whatever we want." -- old Taoist saying

Camelot Lost

2010-05-01T08:43:00.006-06:00

I feel embarrassed to be an American. This decline in integrity, values, ethics and even lack of spirituality is getting to me. The current oil spill crisis is U.S. caused, even though the company is British Petroleum. The U.S. oil industry lobbied to relax standards on the underwater equipment because they didn't want to pay the extra money for safety. All other nations ponied up and made sure their rigs were safer. Now, here we are (the U.S.) polluting the earth again. Earth Day my ass.

We are the ones who taught other countries how to create plutonium and nuclear power and now we don't like the proliferation. Nuclear power is NOT safe. It is subject to terrorist attacks, and would be far more devastating than the tens of thousands of birds and wildlife we will kill with the current oil spill crisis. A serious nuclear accident or terrorist attack on a power plant could wipe out the country or world. My friend just told me the old nukes here in the Monzano Mountains are leaking radio active waste into our water supply. Great! We won't have to worry about 2012, we'll all be dead by then.

Our new "conservative" president is too "thinky" to make any serious change in our national energy policies. So we continue on with old out-moded "drill and spill" oil rigs and new potential nuclear meltdowns (because no one will remember past human error and the true nightmare of reactors gone haywire.) We are not moving fast enough to convert to clean energy sources like wind and solar. I would get up and leave (the U.S.) but if those of us who actually remember that history repeats itself, turn over the reins and let the upcoming uneducated slackers with no morals or ethics run this place, we're certain to fall like Rome. We're already in deep decline. And, no matter where I go, America will manage to screw up the entire planet. Truly tragic for those of us who grew up with Camelot dreams.

Karma

2010-04-20T19:11:00.002-06:00

The most basic definition of karma might be: for every action there is a reaction, or consequence. That is not a moral statement, just basic physics. Blow on a house of cards, it collapses. Stick your finger in a hornet's nest and get stung. But, the world is so wacky now, it seems people have lost sight of such a fundamental "law."

Of all people, George Will said something on a Sunday news show that might resolve a lot more than just the greedy Wall Street behavior. Will said (paraphrasing): without a severe, terrifying deterent there will be moral hazard because they will not care about the risk they take. Isn't that true of all the problems we see today? Kids have no terrifying deterent to burning, raping and killing each other. The Supreme Court ruled today there will be no terrifying consequence for the monsters who make videos of animals being tortured and killed. And, of course there has been no consequence for the untold greed and irresponsible behavior of the financial fat cats. We are however seeing Karma all around us. And, no doubt, America will go the way of Rome and collapse, probably sooner than later. If not decay from within, then surely another form of Karma will get us; something we unleashed on the world will come back to haunt us--nuclear weapons.

But don't let me end on a downer. That plume of volcanic ash is probably the most terrifying warning of all. Just Mother's Nature way of reminding us (the humans) we do not have dominion over nature.

Do we NEED it?

2010-04-06T15:00:00.007-06:00

Finally a piece of art worthy of taking over the BVM/LMM spot ;) ahhhh! Geek Chic! just look at that beauty! It's nice knowing I'm not the only one gushing and going wacky for the new iPad. Xeni gal, from BoingBoing, was practically orgasmic over it on Rachel Maddow's show. But to be fair, her male colleague had a polar opposite reaction on the BoingBoing site.

Why is it getting such extreme reactions? Well, to answer the opening question, of course we don't NEED it. Do we need Mont Blanc fountain pens, or expensive sports cars, or much of anything beyond the Buddhist mat and bowl? C'mon, of course we don't NEED it. Do we want it? Is it my current Kleisha? you betcha! I resisted the iPhone and then the Kindle, but with this device that combines the best of both of those, I cannot resist. It is not a replacement for my laptop. My laptop is a tool to create content, and also playback videos (with HDMI) on my TV. This little beauty is finally close to something I've been wanting for over twenty years -- a multi-functional, portable PDA (remember that, Personal Digital Assistant?) This is just about IT! Finally, a cool, state-of-the-art replacement for my Atomic Game Boy ;) Add phone and camera function, and baby, I'm there! As my man, Jon Meacham proclaims on his little weekly rag Newsweek -- EVERYTHING!

Lady of Myriad Manifestations

2010-04-04T11:11:00.001-06:00

It's EASTER! Transport yourself to the land of Myriad Manifestations on the Enochian Merkabah Light or visit the main site Keys of Enoch. I first posted this beautiful artwork March 20, on the Equinox, when I saw this rendition of the LMM (thanks to Mo) at exactly 11:32 am (Mt time), the precise moment of Vernal Equinox as the sun shown on the Equator and all things were Equal! Perfect! If you want to know more about the Keys of Enoch or myriad manifestations, visit the site. That book "glowed" in 1982 (no I just checked dates. It was May 8, 1988, the book glowed at BirdSong bookstore.) The story is in my novel. more to come! Oh, one more nod to Mo: "who says it has to be either or?" That famous line helps me resolve my Buddhist-Taoist-BVM-ACiM-Shaministic quandry ;)Actually, the "Key" to SEEing is right here!

Peace to you this special day!

The Finish Line

2010-03-13T01:13:00.003-07:00

I'm not done, but I'm the closest I've ever been to publishing my novel. I met with my editor Friday and he was pleased with my progress. He really feels we can publish by the Summer Solstice.
(I have a thing about the Precession of the Equinoxes, it's an important part of my story.) I've already logged 35 of the 50 hours I pledged to edit for National Novel Editing Month-- that's 70% of my goal. I've been averaging three hours a day. So, if any of you Nanoers find your way here, please post a quick comment -- even if just to say "HI, I stopped by!" Thanks!

Here's the Log again for the 300+ of us editing this month.

We Vote with our $$$$

2010-03-10T10:33:00.003-07:00

It kind of warms my heart that people are still bitching about the dismal mess that was the 82nd Annual Academy Awards. Not only did they snub (my polite word for this) Lauren Bacall by not putting her fabulous career on the big screen during the show, they completely forgot to include Ricardo Montalban in the memoriam. Montalban was not only Khan in the famous Star Trek movies, but made over 30 other movies in his long and distinguished career. I hope Hispanics take up this cause, and help boycott the Oscar BS next year. Several other actors and actresses who died were ignored; Farrah Fawcett and Bea Arthur, to name two, and only a glimpse of Patrick Swayze, as I recall. Yet, they found time for that horrible horror-clip montage, which made no sense.

Here comes my biggest complaint. In the 21st Century, this fuddy-duddy institution refuses to reward the most revolutionary science fiction epic of all time. The Academy may think that indie flick Hurt Locker which earned only a fraction of the $2 BILLION that Avatar brought in was the best movie, but those who vote with their wallets (the "pimply faced", as NY critic snob addle-brained Edlestein claims) think differently. And, now out comes Green Zone, with essentially the same plot as Hurt Locker -- so perhaps it too will walk with Oscar next year when I'm no longer watching or caring.

Don't get me wrong, I was all for Bigelow becoming Best Director and taking her place as the first female Director to achieve that award. But Best Picture, NO!

The Academy has a history of disdain for anything SF. Think of this: Annie Hall received the Oscar in 1977, not Star Wars. Did 2001: A Space Odyessey, perhaps the most significant movie of it's era, win? No, Oliver! won in 1968. Need I say more? Yes, one more thing: Tom Hanks, Governor of the Academy, you should feel ashamed. It was bad before, but now you are in charge of the "Worst Award Show in the World..."
(said long and drawn out the way Keith Oberman would.)

I'm done. I was done Sunday night, but now I am FINI. The End.

March Madness

2010-03-02T08:28:00.006-07:00

My friends will yawn and say, "So, what's new?" or "whaz up with that?" since I've been editing pretty much non-stop since October 28. But, this is National Novel Editing Month and more than any other year it's perfect for me! We pledge to spend at least 50 hours editing, rewriting and as the icon says POLISHING. My deadline, which is TODAY, was to complete a pass of rewriting the story. I'm on track-- only a few thousand words to go to cross that line. I had a 5K day Monday! I will do it somehow... I have to. It's Phil's Phased Out Day, aka the day Philip K Dick died in 1982. That has a LOT to do with my novel. Be sure and come back here to get a copy later this spring!!!

Can't promote something that's not done, but I am manifesting it. Yikes, better log out of here and into Word and get moving across that finish line! More on EdMo later!! But while I'm writing, click on that link. And, if you have a novel that needs some work, join in! C'mon! You can track me here, to make sure I really am logging hours: NanOedMo Hours Log. (ZenWoman, of course ;)

Play AAO's Speed Skate Challenge

2010-02-27T10:17:00.003-07:00

Apolo Anton Ohno's Speed Skate Challenge Just a fun thing, AAO tweeted to all of us, his followers. I got a Gold Medal on second try ;)

I have 12K left to edit and taking a break now to watch my Editor, yes famed Chicago mobster DD, dance! Then I will finish this pass by March 2 in remembrance of Phil's Phasing Out of this Dimension on 3.2.82

Don't worry if this makes NO sense, I'll clean it up later for my THREE readers ;)

Intrusion

2010-02-22T14:01:00.006-07:00

Wow, the email post really stirred it up. Most reactions I've had in ages! Now, another topic to broach is the "too big to fly" controversy. I see it more as intrusion. Don't rush to judgement-- big can mean lots of things; linebacker big, 6'8" pro B-ball big, or just XXL. I'm not biased on how "big" someone is (other than close friends who I simply worry for their health. Of course, there are many lifestyle choices, too. Those who drink, do drugs, smoke! yech!) What I do care about is intrusion. I don't want a stranger's bod on my seat, or intruding into my space. I don't intend to fly any time soon, for a host of reasons. But, this isn't just limited to body size or flying.
I don't want someone picking their nose in close proximity, or sneezing, coughing on me, or touching me with their germs. I'm getting like Howie Mandel. I basically don't want to be confined to any tiny space with strangers, especially if they are encroaching on my space. So go on, y'all. Have a field day with that one...
And, sure. I'll debate here and in the public on any of these topics!

PS -- next up: Buddhism (as in Tiger's Woods proclamation.)

do we care?

2010-02-14T23:11:00.003-07:00

Had a very interesting discussion today with some professionals, working folk, about the emails they receive. When they open email and find anywhere from 50 to 100 emails a day they have to sort through them, because for business people time is money, and emails could mean a job or important contact. The Government Gal says same thing. She dreads opening email anymore to find not only messages from her boss and workers, but friends and family sending anything they happened to find cute, interesting, latest family news (SueSue had a boo boo), who's dating who, and the worst: what do you think of this? Her point was 1) it places a demand on her to read all the "junk" and 2) she feels rude if she doesn't respond to her friends and family. But here's the best comment of all: email, like talk, has become cheap.

What does that mean? This gal said before email people didn't send ten letters a day with every errant whim they could think of. No, because you would have to get paper, write your crazy thought (several times if you wanted to send it to each family member and friend), get stamps and then mail it. Her point is that we were more discriminating about what we wrote in letters and snail mail cards. Now, every time we chuckle or smile, we think the whole world cares. Clearly they don't!

Playing devil's advocate, I said, "I know a prolific emailer who says well then, just delete them. I'm not going to censor my behavior." I can't type her response in polite company, but essentially she says it's not that easy. To delete them, she still must read and sift through the tens or hundreds of emails received (biz and personal) to know what can be deleted. Her primary point: people sending all these links, jokes and pics are thoughtless and have no respect for other people's time. "I have my own life and priorities," she says. "Do email-aholics think I care about every whim that strikes them as interesting? Must read, my ass."

Driving home I thought about the many emails I send and receive. I don't send or forward jokes, but because I type fast, I can dash off an email that the guys said can take them quite awhile to read, and then formulate a response, especially when they have many other things to think about. It is rude of me and I'm going to slow down and think about what I send out from now on. I won't send my blog link. Those who want it know how to find it and read it. Those who want my tweets and errant thoughts, will get them that way. Perhaps all Persons of Leisure should give a bit more thought to our email impact on others.

Green Tea, honestly!

2010-02-06T21:09:00.002-07:00

Sorry to harp on this again, but really. After catching part of Palin's "gag me" keynote in Nashville, I can't refrain from begging for Al Gore to keynote a Green Tea Party Convention. She revs up the crowd with name-calling: those "godless elitists" running the country, and encourages her fantatical followers by assuring them that they are the Patriots, the Mavericks and the Faithful.
The Tea party had one solid platform before tonight -- fiscal responsibility. But, now that the tea baggers wrapped themselves in the flag and claim God for themselves, and yet are blatantly racist, they need to go down with the old Boston harbor ships. (see more ranting in my update on the original Tea Party plea below.)

I'm for a Taos-based progressive Green Tea movement. It would be all about sustainable green energy sources, not "drill baby" BS. We would rally around conservation, not conservative, platforms. And, we could include legalizing the real "green" (banned plants) and recoup some revenue from those lost millions, and stop the border blood shed at the same time. Intelligence and innovation should be applauded not criticized with silly six-pack jokes. We already had eight miserable years of good ole boy politics. And, I'm sad to say Obama is a little late to realize how his administration was heading into the same rut.

I know Gore can't be the candidate, but nothing would energize a Green Tea Party like a rousing keynote from him. All the environmental rock stars could and should jump on this quickly and stop this Nazi-type nonsense from gaining any more momentum.

that reclusive, salacious Salinger!

2010-02-03T19:12:00.011-07:00

It makes me smile to read these few rare quotes from JD Salinger;

"Give me two hours in the dentist chair before I’ll spend another minute in a publisher’s office. All those insufferable literary types, thoroughly pleased with themselves, who haven’t read a line of Tolstoy since college."

or this one; “They (the publishers) offer up all these bright ideas. Unable to produce a single original line themselves, they’re bound and determined to put their stamp squarely on your work . . . Polite suggestions that I change this or that, put in more romance, take out more of that annoying ambiguity . . . slap some terribly clever illustration on the cover . . . forget it."

I hear you loud and clear, JD! Too bad he couldn't have tried print on demand and had the control to publish some of those piles of manuscripts that friends and family are pulling out of his vault. Of course, he's on record telling those closest to him not to publish posthumously, so it will be interesting to see what happens next. What do you think? If there's a Glass family stash, should they be published? In honor of his wishes, I'll find a 1964 maroon Bantam edition of Catcher in the Rye. That's the one he designed once he got the rights to his own book, not the ugly carousel horse cover he hated. The snobs can fight over those first editions. But, for now I'm not into Catcher at all. I'm totally immersed in the "Glass family saga." That's Salinger's collection of seemingly unrelated short stories that are said to have been the inspiration for the movie the Royal Tenenbaums. I'll post a comment below when I'm done. For now, I hope JD and Frank Baum and Phil are having a good laugh out there in the Twilight Zone!

ersatz errata

2010-02-01T11:30:00.009-07:00

That could be a good blog name, IMHO! In no particular order and without rhyme nor reason, here are things clogging up my brain that are keeping me from novel writing this morning.
The Grammy's. Good grief! I watched all 3.5 hours of it last night. It was like a car wreck from which I could not divert my eyes (is that the proper English, gals?) Anyway, that silly off-key teen twit who took Album of the year... I am so tired of her. And to have her on stage ruining a performance by a legend like Stevie Nicks, I needed a barf bag. What does anyone see in her? Please, post a comment if you can explain that. I'm baffled. Now, on the opposing view of many, I actually enjoyed Pink's wild ass aerial antics. I was out of the room when it started and couldn't believe what I was seeing. So, thanks to DVR, I rewound and watched all of it. Then, I liked it so much I recorded it to DVD and watched it again. It improves with each viewing. What a bod and voice. I like her! And, I know the song she sang "Glitter in the Air" from her Funhouse CD. Lady GaGa, on the other hand, was a disappointment. I have enjoyed her flamboyance in the past, but dirty versions of her and Sir Elton (I mean dirty, literally-- streaked with coal dust or whatever that was) on their glitter didn't cut it for me. Too bad, and I didn't even know she won awards for best dance and trance records, both cuts off her famous "Fame" album. (yikes I started this mid morning, and realized late afternoon that I never posted.) OK, wrapping this up, Leon Russell, what a hoot to see him. I used to love him! That guy in the Zac Brown Band could sing. And, finally the tear-jerking comments from Prince Michael about his dad (MJ's) Lifetime Achievement Award, and the 3D "Earth Song" tribute to MJ was really why I watched.
Other Errata: Good grief, I'm simply horrified over the never-ending details emerging about John Edwards (sex tape? endless lying, disturbing comments about "when Elizabeth is gone!") I was very, very wrong about him. And, now it's hard to listen to Dave Matthews sing "You and Me" with those horrible images in my mind. There was more stuff, but I'm tired of pontificating (imagine that!) and should be novel writing.
Finally, check out that fun Shelfari thing-- just scroll UP a bit and glance over to the right. Thanks Mo, got if off that link you sent! I can promote my own novel there!

Green Tea, politically!

2010-01-23T10:45:00.006-07:00

This could be the best thing that ever happened to our screwed up political system. The "Tea Party" claims they have a franchise now and owns the Tea Party title. I say it's time to investigate that and see if we can have a Green Tea Party! What could be better? Dump the Dems (who have sold out and hijacked our votes for the last time) and of course, none of that right wing crap either. This should be the old Green Party on steroids. I think the country is finally ripe for both a Green platform and a person like Ron Paul (or at least his values.) What sounded crazy in the past is resonating with more and more middle class voters who have been totally screwed over.
Of course, we'd love Al (Gore), as our leader of the pack. He's one guy who is not embroiled in personal or private scandal (other than a minor light bulb skirmish ;) We'll probably end up with Gary Johnson. OMG! I tried the conventional route with Obama and he's just another old school political hack. We need real reform and we need it NOW! Green Tea, that's for me!

February 6 Update: After seeing parts of Palin talking to the "tea-ers" in Nashville, I wanted to PUKE! More than ever I'm for Green Tea NOW! Her "sassy" sarcastic one-liners can only go so far. This is a radically far-right-religious, fanatically racist bunch. If they had stayed with the tax issues and fiscal responsibility they would have a better shot. With Palin at the helm, they will re-create one part of the original tea party; a shipwreck!!

Tranquility

2010-01-13T19:17:00.003-07:00

The Tao te Ching (prounounced dow day sching), or simply the Way, was written over 2500 years ago and has been translated and published as many times as the bible. And, like the bible, it's hard to read. A book published twenty years ago remains the most accessible and wonderful way to benefit from the essence of the Tao. It's the "Tao of Inner Peace" by Diane Dreher. It's one of five books I would want with me if left on an island for a year (honestly.) Hmmmmm... what would the other four be?

"The Journey from the Center to the Page" by Jeff Davis, another book I've had but never really appreciated until recently, is definitely on my short list now. It combines yoga principles with authentic writing skills and I just love it. It's inspirational and healthful, too.

I'd have to take one of the Eckhart Tolle books and that would leave only two other books. One should be a great work of literature, but which one? I'll have to give that more thought. Feel like suggesting what books are essential to your peace and well being? Something you couldn't be without? Polvie, what you got with you down in Guatemala? Me and my two readers would love to know ;0
Meanwhile, as my editor and slave-driving friends remind me, keep writing. yes, I am! I hope to use this or one of my other blogs to promote the novel when it comes out, so stay tuned. If I don't post much for the next six weeks, you know why!! I'm on the home stretch!
But, can't do it in the midst of mental chaos so I'm really doing the nightly calming down and revitalization with these wonderful books. I feel fab when I go to sleep, it's just those waking hours that I struggle with ;) Judith Orloff's "Positive Energy" is also helpful, and as she points out you don't have to escape to a private island to avoid stress. She says we can shift from victim to victorious with "modest, simple positive energy techniques." She offers three minute meditations and was the one who suggested taking a techno-break-- a day without computers, email or tweets. I did on Sunday and it was a great way to reset. Try one or any of these to relax and feel inspired.

Sleeping with Ram Dass

2010-01-03T12:23:00.005-07:00

Now that I have your attention, there is a reason for the title. But first, I'm certain some of my many readers (both of you ;) are a bit judgmental when you think of Ram Dass. You may know of him vaguely, or recall his crazed 1960s psychedelic experiences with Timothy Leary. I suggest taking another look now that he's becoming the Guru of Aging.
I've always known of Ram Dass, but must admit I didn't really know his story. That he was a Harvard professor before he "tuned in and turned on" -- a classically trained Jungian psychologist who gave that up to spend years in India studying with Yogis, or that the title Ram Dass Servant of God was given to him-- he did not select it for himself. How did I get swept up into a Ram Dass frenzy?

On the last day of 2009, as part of my New Year rituals, I was listening to Wayne Dyer's "Excuses Be Gone" seminar on how to change habits and life patterns. He introduced his teacher, Dr. Richard Alpert who had made a remarkable recovery from a crippling stroke. Told us that for nearly ten years this man had been confined to a wheel chair and had to relearn everything from speech to simply moving his hand. Doctors had not given him any hope of feeding or clothing himself, much less walking. Yet, Dyer was holding back the tears as he introduced this man, who he said was slowly walking onto the stage. A man who taught him everything about life and now about true Grace. Dyer said, "A man you know as Ram Dass." What??
I was so shocked. I did not know that Ram Dass was Richard Alpert, that he had a major stroke in 1997, or that after ten years of patient self therapy, had brought himself back from the loss of most physical ability. Wow! It was very strange listening to Ram Dass speak so slowly, to realize he was nearly eighty years old. It was all mind blowing, but incredibly inspirational.
I learned of his newest projects, his 2000 book "Still Here" on aging written remarkably just before and published AFTER his stroke, and the movie "Fierce Grace" produced midway during his "come back" around 2003. I had to see that one right away. And, I highly recommend it. What an achievement, yet again proving we truly control our thoughts and physical abilities.
So why the title I used on the blog? Well, watching the movie I kept thinking I have a couple of Ram Dass books. I found the famous "Be Here Now" easily, it was on a shelf with other Buddhist, Tao and Yoga books. But, I could visualize a small paperback about meditation. Where was that one? After searching for about thirty minutes, I remembered it being on the bookcase part of my bed. But, it wasn't on those shelves either. Amazingly, it had slipped down behind my pillows. I had been literally sleeping with Ram Dass for who knows how many days. Friends, there are no coincidences!

I was going to stop there, but I must add how I attribute his healing ways to my own remarkable recovery from a nasty fall that same day. I spent about 36 hours reading his books, watching his videos and website and meditating while my leg was elevated. I let go of my belief that I was going to be devastated by this knee injury. (For the first 24 hours I couldn't stand any weight on it at all.) But, after visualizing my knee working properly, two days later I just got up. At first it was scary and I was favoring it, but I've come to believe it will be fine and I'm well on my way to mobility. If a person can recover from a stroke, then there's no reason my knee can't, too! It's healing itself as I write. Thank you, Ram Dass, for hiding under my pillow!

Winter Solstice!

2009-12-21T09:39:00.005-07:00

Happy Solstice Everyone!! Why do we care if it's the Solstice? Archeologists have found an assembly of 127 granite blocks in Brazil arranged equidistant from each other. That site, Stonehenge and even the Great Pyramid in Egypt apparently formed ancient astronomical observatories. At the site in Brazil one of the stones clearly marked the position of the sun at the time of the winter solstice. WHY? Holly, ivy, mistletoe, yule log, the giving of gifts, decorated evergreen trees, magical reindeer and the very idea of Christmas (as a Saint who provides for the needy, or worthy) are all pagan rituals associated with the Solstice. For Druids and Celtic Shamans: three days before Yule is a magical time. This is the time of the Serpent Days or transformation...The Elder and Birch stand at the entrance to Annwn or Celtic underworld where all life was formed. Like several other myths they guard the entrance to the underworld. This is the time the Sun God journey's thru the underworld to learn the secrets of death and life.

Incas, Hopis and Mayans all celebrate the Solstice, along with many other Shamanic and native peoples. Even Vampyres celebrate "the Long Night," a festival at the Winter Solstice. But WHY? Equinoxes and Solstices mark changes in cycles, tangible events that could be witnessed in the sky and on the ground. And, how about this: "In several languages, not just in English, people have traditionally compared the rebirth of the sun with the birth of the son of God." (that's from the Nat Geo link used in the title of this entry.) I've always thought Sun/Son were one in the same. That's pretty controversial, but something I'll delve into more in my forthcoming novel: A Kindred Spirit. For now, it's less than an hour until Solstice, so CELEBRATE!!!

A Lovely, Critical Holiday

2009-12-13T12:13:00.015-07:00

A few years ago I included what I called the Peace Page in with my holiday cards, rather than a rundown of my own year in review. I’ll link to it at the end of this rant. Yes, sadly I'm still ranting -- this time over some "famous critic" David Edlestein. Critic = world's lowest life form, IMHO. I’ll blow off a bit, but then find my Center and wrap all this up in a goofy holiday package.
I got angry this morning listening to a critical review of Peter Jackson’s movie version of the Lovely Bones. The Critic called it “icky new age sentimentality” aka sappy. This got me thinking. I’ve seen my share of “important art films,” but you know I’m hard pressed to rattle off a list of them. What I can easily list are the “sappy” holiday movies that have impacted me: It’s a Wonderful Life, Miracle on 34th Street, the Bishop’s Wife, the screwball Christmas in Connecticut or even better Scrooged, White Christmas, and for me the ultimate A Christmas Carol in all ten (or more) variations, from cartoon to Alastair Sim, that I watch every year. Of course, Scrooge Edlestein would find all of those overly sentimental with simplistic plot lines, I’m sure.

I was going to write a nasty-gram to CBS encouraging them to drop this cynical, jaded reviewer. I would include the same thoughts as above, but also ask what if we didn’t have the Wizard of Oz or Peter Pan movies because of some self-important blow-hard like Edlestein who has never created a thing (Yes, Virginia, I did verify that.) All he has ever done, since graduating from Harvard, is rant about other people’s poor movie-making skills and art. And, while I do see the irony of ranting about him, at least I have written my own sappy novel which I’ll be releasing next year.

Critics, bah humbug! With their pen strokes (or big mouths) they have the power to influence millions of minds. Perhaps we don’t need another important art film right now, or another critically acclaimed “powerful” novel. Perhaps what we need is to get rid of the gratuitous sex and violence from the tube and movies, and bring back a little more sap. The world was safer and far more sane when we had more Magoo and Jimmy Stewart and less “killer films.”

If you want to know more about Peter Jackson and/or ‘the bones’ then click on this MTV review. I certainly won't link to anything from Edlestein, nor threaten his job. I'll just calm down and read my own Peace Page advice, and enjoy these final Twelve Days of Christmas leading up to that annual sappy, sentimental holiday!

(Sorry! I know that Muppet/Denver video is old and scratchy. Here's a good digital audio version of the song. Or just go with Magoo ;) Very sappy, and fun! More Magoo, please!

Bodhi Day

2009-12-08T20:08:00.002-07:00

You can't really call yourself ZenWoman and not blog on Bodhi Day ;) Even tho I have long celebrated May 8 and/or Wesak (Full Moon in May) as the Day of Enlightenment, many traditions claim it was December 8. Whenever, the Infinity symbol is probably the most significant part of that! And, all traditions agree that as the Morning Star rose in the sky (whatever day it was) Siddhartha finally found the answers he sought, became Enlightened, and experienced Nirvana. Having done so, Shakyamuni or Siddhartha Gautauma, now became a Buddha an “Awakened One”. … So, click on the Wiki link in the title or here for a longer Dharma Talk. Namaste!

Mid Nano Update

2009-11-14T01:28:00.013-07:00

I'm moving my November NanoWrimo Update section here. No other blogging this month... just updates on novel writing. See Word Count Widget: (look right and down)

Week One goal 12K DONE
Week Two goal 25K (Sunday, Nov 15)DONE!
Week Three - 35K (Sunday, Nov 22) 35076 DONE!!!
Week Four - 48K (Sunday, Nov 29) barely at 44K (i'm melting...) Major 24 HR push!
Nano Final - 50K (Monday, Nov 30) I WON! 50,054

To Finish the novel, editing will continue into December! (and FOR SURE into 2010!)
The goal is a Spring 2010 release! Watch for A Kindred Spirit!

it begins...

2009-10-31T22:28:00.017-06:00

The scariest time of the year is approaching -- the Midnight Hour of October 31. This year there's even a full moon. No, not Halloween. No, not All Saints Day. Where are the dang spooky sound effects when you need them? (Muahaha haha -- evil laughter) Silly rabbit, it's NaNoWriMo time! Why so scary, you ask. Cause we're committing to write 50,000 words in a month! Give that a whirl! (Word Count updates to the right, and below!)

There's a Midnight Kickoff party here in ABQ for National Novel Writing Month. But, for a couple of reasons, I'm not going. I'm there in Spirit, though and so apropos for this night ;) (waxing poetic, too!) Here's a silly NaNo Rebel forum post (can non-Nanos see that? If they can will they answer? ) Only one response to my last question, therefore you people are punished (or blessed) cause I'm not posting during Nano (nanny nanny boo boo, stick your head in doo doo) I am totally wacked tonight -- must be the extra sugar high! Mo and me and the NaNos (tee hee!)

For the month of November, I will expend all my writing energy on my novel. It begins at the stroke of midnight! You can track me here: (look to your right at the Word Count Widget, which is working now. ) Yay!!

Update Info:
Edited nearly 12,000 words Sunday, Nov 8!! Current Goal - edit 100 pages by Nov 13!
(I know it's WriMo, not EdMo, but I'm a Cheetah and Rebel ;)

19K (Wednesday eve) That's 55 pages. I don't think I can double that by Friday. I will exceed the 25K goal, though. This is hard work!

35K (Sunday, Nov 22) Ok, that first estimate was too optimistic. I still have 1800 words to edit to complete the first 102 pages. Good Grief. There's another 228 pages of novel after that! Who thought of writing this frickin' thing anyway ;)

Why blog?

2009-10-26T01:28:00.007-06:00

I'm pretty sure I asked this once before, but now I'm really going to delve into this. I hope some of you (who I know read ;) will take a moment to ponder and comment. For years we locked our diaries and never considered letting anyone peek at our private thoughts. Now, everyone is blogging and often extremely personal info. Why? As a friend of mine asked, "Why on earth would you post stuff for perfect strangers to read?" More to the point, exposing oneself (often literally, as teens do) or even like this blog for someone to delve into and "find me" if they really wanted to. Why??

Yeah, kids do it 1) cause they're naive 2) desperate for interaction. The exposed pics, well that's just ridiculous. But, adults. Thinking, sane folks like us -- why are we blogging? Some folks post their art, political commentaries, travel blogs are really helpful, community service or fund-raising, and some just "because." Initially my Zen Blog (the old one) was to promote Zen/Taoist philosophy but devolved into my rants. And posts of my Grand Canyon trip where I crunched a rock formation in my hand ;)

I know we try to stay anonymous, but that's a joke. I just tried searching myself on google and it's amazing (and scary) what all can be found. I remember Jeff, my "bro" refusing to use a credit card to avoid a paper trail. Now, we get online and basically "let it all hang out." Of course, I've lived online since the 1980's (the BBS days, various forums, web sites, blogs and now twitter.)

Another point is why waste time on this when I should put ALL my writing energy into the money-making book publication process. Does a book blog make sense? A place to promote and sell the book? I think so, but that also means really revealing your identity (unless you publish with a pseudonym.) Well, that will come soon enough. For now, I kind of view this as escape, but how dangerous is it? Come on out of your hidey holes now and COMMENT!!! It truly is a curious phenomenon.

Rebel with a Cause!

2009-10-16T20:28:00.005-06:00

I just love this! I'm a Wrimo Rebel! No idea what I'm talking about? Just head on over to the NaNoWriMo dot ORG. I've been a Wrimo Rebel since my first year when I joined late and helped forge the Cheetah Club. hee hee. Still too cryptic? (like a Dan Brown novel?)

OK, here's what it means. Honest, rule-abiding participants pledge to write a novel -- 50,000 fresh fictional words during the month of NOvember. Thus, NaNoWriMo -- National Novel Writing Month, AKA "30 days (and nights) of literary abandon!" (if you really want to know why someone would write so much so fast, then you'll have to go on over to the link and snoop around. Chris Baty, the founder, has been trying to explain that for years ;)

Back to the rebel concept. I loved the idea of thousands of (now over 100 thousand)folks all feverishly writing away at the same time, challenging each other to write more and commiserating with each other over the ecstasy and agony of creative writing. But I was already working on a novel. Why should I have to stop my project and start a new fresh novel just to join in the fun? Muahaha haha (evil laughter) I didn't. I found others, like me, that were "cheating" and we founded the NanoWrimo Cheetah's Club. We aren't without morals, us Cheetahs. No sir, Mr. Baty. We have principles. We still had to write new words and hopefully 50K of them. We just didn't start from scratch.

Anyway, this year I discovered a new NaNo segment -- the Rebels. There are poets, folks who want to journal 50K, write non-fiction (gasp!), create 'zines, and like me "the Finishers" who insist we must complete a work-in-progress. I like this crowd of pirates and artists -- I fit with the misfits. And best of all, one of the Rebels (Pax) made a badge just for us! digg it!