But, all habit change is this way. It's hard. So when I burst out, yet again, with an angry response (to traffic, to something -- ANYTHING -- that bothers me), I have to take a deep breath and gently remind myself, patience. This is the same as in the midst of meditation when the mind gets really busy and we simply notice our thoughts and say to ourselves, "thinking." We don't dwell on whether it's a good or bad thought. Just notice the thinking and put the attention back on the breath.
So, off the cushion, when anger or craving arises, just notice the craving. The truth is any thought or craving will pass in 90 seconds (not two), but you can move through it two seconds at a time by holding your seat -- just staying with the feelings. As Pema says:
Each time you sit still with the restlessness and heat of anger—neither acting it out nor repressing it—you are tamed and strengthened. Each time you act on the anger or suppress it, you are weakened; you become more and more like a walking target. Then, as the years go by, almost everything makes you mad.
(if interested, here is Pema's full explanation of Holding your Seat )
This is probably a good place to clarify that Pema and the mind training teachings do not ask us to "fix" ourselves. We come as we are. And, we do not dwell on failure, we celebrate victories -- no matter how small. Consider the success of your day rather than the failure of missing a session of formal sitting practice. It is important to recognize that mindfulness is in every step (to quote Thich Nat Hanh) and even while walking around, drinking coffee, talking to others, just remember, "I am practicing now."
This works with any effort to end an addiction or quit a habit. When the intense feelings arise and you think you can't stand it. We say, just endure for two more seconds. Take a deep breath. Then remember, in 90-seconds, this too will pass.
So when Pema says, we practice in two-second increments, she is exactly spot on.
