Wednesday, December 8, 2010

Day 8: Bodhi Day (Beautifully Different)

I knew that no matter what the Reverb10 prompt was for today, I was going to use it to describe my relationship to awakening, becoming a Bodhisattva (anyone who is motivated by compassion and seeks enlightenment not only for him/herself but also for everyone.) Today is Bodhi Day, the 8th day of the 12th Lunar month -- the day Buddhists believe that Prince Siddhartha Gotama experienced enlightenment and found the roots of suffering after sitting and meditating under a Bodhi tree 2500 years ago.

How does this relate to the prompt? Being Buddhist is certainly the primary way that I perceive myself as different. Not better or worse than others -- just different. Beautifully different is perhaps the best possible term I can think of. All those working years I was hesitant to declare myself Buddhist, especially surrounded by rabid Catholics. Not quiet, reverent, Compassionate Catholics, but RABID, opionated ones where I worked. Now, writing at home, free from government shackles and self-censorship, I can blurt it out. I've considered myself Buddhist since 17, and officially so (taking the vows) in 1990, twenty years ago. Even tho I call myself ZenWoman and Bodhi day is primarily a Zen observance, I follow the Tibetan Vajrayana tradition, Kagyu lineage.

I am far from perfect. I make mistakes daily, still get angry even though I try hard not to, but as Pema Chodron tells us: "that's why we call it our Practice" not our Perfect Buddhism. I am practicing -- more than I used to. And that, dear reader, is what I feel makes me beautifully different. Namaste!

Tuesday, December 7, 2010

Day 7: Community

Where have I found Community? I was going to write about my virtual and actual Sanghas (Buddhist communities), but since tomorrow is Bodhi Day, I'll save my Buddhist thoughts til then. I've certainly felt a sense of community with the Romero family over the past year. Here we are a year ago celebrating the holidays. Sophie's kitchen is a place where we enjoy food, friendship and certainly a sense of community. Dan's dining room is another. Sure wish I had snapped a shot of our recent pot roast dinner. We ate, laughed and enjoyed talking about books, wine and other shared interests.

As for 2011, I really see myself delving deeper into my spiritual groups. I will be working on a non-fiction book about religion, philosophy and spirituality. I have three local Kagyu Buddhist groups plus an online Sangha and having renewed my commitment to T'ai Chi Chih, this is the connection I see growing even stronger in the year ahead. Perhaps a little more subdued. Less emphasis on wine and intoxicants, more meditation.

Monday, December 6, 2010

Day 6: Make

Reverb asks us, "When was the last time you made something? What was it? Is there something you want to make?" Yes, as a matter of fact there is. I'm headiing out again today for some mats (photo frame mats) to finish a project I'm working on for my elderly friends. They have a life time of photos -- Ross was a professional photographer for many years. But, like many of us, his work is in boxes gathering dust. I already made copies of some of the best ones, and now with some matting, I'm helping them making Christmas gifts of these. Some of the people in them will be surprised, delighted I think. I'm also making a special montage for the photographer and his lovely wife, but they don't know that yet;) That will be part of their holiday gift this year. (They don't have web, so won't see this.)

The last thing I made was also for them. A pumpkin pie. For Mother's Day I made Sophie (his wife) a memory album. Some of these photos can go in there, also. I made quite a few artsy things last year, handmade journals, multi-media art pieces, but this year I really focused on making only one thing: my book, my novel. Now with it done, I can make a few things for the holidays and as always, I'll be making web pages, or entries on them at least.

Sunday, December 5, 2010

Day 5: Letting Go

I just signed the Reverb10 contract, donated to the effort and now I will devote this Crypto blog to the cause for the remainder of December. Why? Coming off of nanowrimo and writing 50 thousand words is a powerful process. I'm in the habit of daily writing and don't want to lose that habit. It's a good one. I pretty much found my groove of about 1250 per day. 1600 or 1800 was hard, but I could generally hit 1250 without breaking much of a sweat. Reverb suggests 750 per day on their daily prompt. And so far, I love the prompts!

My friend Mo sent the link and it's so in sync with my current thoughts, it seemed like a perfect plan for ending a year and a decade. I'll start with Prompt #1 which was to sum up this past year (2010) in a word. I selected the word RELEASE back in January. I wanted to release my novel, my anger, some of my old habits and expectations. I also said my only goal for the year was to "let go." So how syncronicitious is that! Happens to be our Day 5 Prompt. I did complete and publish my novel in 2010. (References below and on the book and blog: www.AKSbook.com) I've worked on my anger issue all year. Have I released it? Not completely, but I am making progress. Old habits and expectations? I am using various Buddhist techniques on all these issues: Tibetan healing practices, meditation, mindfulness, and writing therapy (like this.) Letting go involves so much -- expectations of myself, others, and finding new feelings. It's a process, a practice. When I started practicing T'ai Chi Chih again this year, I truly realized everything is a practice. As Pema Chodron says, "Grappling with the teachings IS our practice." If we can make a little headway we should feel gratitude and keep going. The goal is improvement, not perfection.

Friday, November 12, 2010

Everyone is our Guru

Did that get your attention? For nearly forty years (really!) I have thought about Buddhism, did a lot of in depth reading about it, then actually took the vows of Refuge and became a Buddhist 20 years ago, and have loosely practiced on and off since then. During all that, a concept I could never come to terms with was "guru worship." There was nothing that really compelled us to worship Buddha (the historic Shakyamuni one-who-became-enlightened-turned-Buddha.) So, why would we worship some earthly teacher or "guru?" It was the one thing that really kept me at a distance from the Dharma of Buddhism-- until this last retreat.

When I listened to and truly heard Pema Chodron's description of why we should be grateful to everyone-- especially the people in our lives who "bug" us the most-- something clicked and I finally understood the concept of teacher-mentor-Guru. The real Guru is not Buddha, but the person who pushes your buttons. It all goes back to the same concept as practicing off the cushion.

It is easy to meditate and be a "good" Buddhist practitioner while sitting on a cushion at a retreat or at the Dharma Center. But how good is that practice in every day life? Especially when the person that bugs the most is in your face, saying something that makes those little hairs prick up on the back of your neck and your face turn red. That is the real test of one's practice. Can you be compassionate, share loving-kindness and generosity of spirit with that person? Much harder... darn near impossible. That person is your Guru! We don't curse at him or her, we must thank them... or truly get on your knees, or better prostrate and bow to that person. That is your true teacher.

The most difficult, trying times are the real practice. Pema says if we can learn to just wait a second or two before we scream, curse, slap someone or worse, there is hope we can expand that time to ten seconds, thirty seconds and get this. She says if we can get to the point where we don't react for 90 seconds, then we're home free because our physical reaction changes after 90 seconds. Pema says she actually learned about the 90-second Rule from Dr Jill Bolte Taylor, a Harvard-trained brain scientist, who actually suffered a stroke and later wrote a book about it. Dr. Taylor says, "For 90 seconds, I can watch this happen; I can feel a physiological response develop and then watch it go away. After that, if I continue to feel that fear or that anger, I need to look at the thoughts I am thinking that are re-stimulating that circuitry that is resulting in me having this physiology over and over again." Anyway, the point being we can control our reaction time, but it takes practice-- just like the practice of Buddhism. Everything is our practice!

This particular "Pema presentation" was crystal clear to me. All of it, from the idea of waiting and training ourselves to avoid instant reactions. I learned not to throw things (in anger) at some point, so I know it can be done. 2) that our mood and physiology actually changes after 90 seconds. I believe that, too. And, finally that everyone -- all those people who are driving up and down my street, the ones outside yelling right now, even the woman who took my camp spot, ALL OF THEM are my teachers. Thank you Gurus!! Namaste!

Those pics are from the new Buddhist Dharma Center Stupa in T or C (New Mexico.) It's also a Karma Kagyu center and features a Medicine Buddha image (same one I used on my facebook note.)

Monday, November 1, 2010

Nano 2010

Day One is done. 1828 words posted, coherent ones, too! Actually plan to devote each day's quota to a memorable event for my Warrior's Album. No idea what I'm referring to? Doesn't really matter. The only people I know who read this know, or have some idea. If you don't and care to, then YOU let ME know. Otherwise, I'll expend my energy this month on Zero Draft new NanoWrimo writing and promoting my novel which was written during past nano cycles and edited during EdMo. National Novel Editing Month. That's in March. First we write in November, then we edit (well hopefully in January and February) but have lots of company in March. Will this be my pattern every year from now until ?? Maybe. I'm one of 150,000 other wrimos this year. I'm also deeply into my Kagyu "Klan" Buddhist practice with local and online Sangha. Some of my nano stories will explain that. So, that's what I'm doing for the next 30 days... See ya on Facebook and Twitter, and as always www.AKSbook.com