Letting Go

Wow, what a week of lessons about what we think we have and letting go. I was forced to let go of a substantial quantity of paper wealth.
(I think I could speak in the plural here, since I was not alone on this lesson, but I'll stay singular, thanks.) What are those six stages of grief? Shock -- Yep! seeing the Dow take the biggest one week plunge since the Great Depression was shocking in the extreme; Denial (yes, "please don't let this be happening"); Anger (oh my, yes... an understatement!); Depression (absolutely!); Bargaining (hmmmm "I will never again invest in stocks if you just let me live through this.") ; Acceptance? Not yet, but that's where I am at this moment and why I'm blogging. I'm trying to accept. Trying to let go. And, not just of the numbers on a piece of paper, but of the anger and frustration.

This particular anger is over feeling screwed for doing "the right thing" all these years. I didn't leverage myself to the hilt and buy some extravagant home beyond my means. I've stayed in my modest little house, with my modest mortgage and invested. And now I wonder, "Invested in what?" A bunch of a-hole CEO's that robbed their own corporations blind? The companies are now bankrupt -- GM (stock under $5), AIG (down from $70 a share to under $2) Citi Group (once at $55 was at $12 a share) and even my beloved tech stocks were ravaged -- values cut in half. At one point this week 1499 of the 1500 companies on the NYSE were at all time lows!! The companies are just as screwed as I am -- as you are, if you lost money in your IRA, 401K or even our PERA Plan which is down several Billion now.

So, yes, I'm angry at this situation and feeling grief for our country. How did WE (yes, in the plural) allow this to happen? As some of the commentators have asked, "Where were the grown ups?" It's as if a bunch of greedy, drunken juvenile delinquents robbed us blind. Only JD's are usually caught and sent to jail. These insanely greedy CEO's with their multi-million "Golden Parachutes" are somewhere laughing their asses off at our stupidity. Will any of them go to prison for this mess?

And, I'm angry that now we're in more hock (nearly a Trillion in this Bail Out Plan, TARP) and it isn't working. This could take years, just like the War in Iraq, to resolve. So, where's that Letting Go? That Lesson in all this?

Well, there are many. I could wax philosophical about Capitalism, materialism, even Socialism -- but there will be plenty of that in days to come. But, for now, looking at the Grief Model, psychologists say:

You will start to look forward and actually plan for the future. Eventually, you will be able to think about your loss without pain; sadness, yes, but eventually the gut wrenching pain will be gone. You will once again anticipate good times to come, and even find joy again in the experience of living.

And, with that, it's back to releasing my Kleshas for the Padawan, 'cause as the Buddhists are fond of saying --
"Contentment is the greatest form of wealth."

Mindfulness

Why "mindfulness?" I'll come to that. But, as an American I can't ignore the elephant in the living room which of course was John McCain in tonight's Presidential debate.

A McCain presidency is only beneficial to a very narrow group of people. It's a very simplistic, controlled world view of right and wrong. A view where everyone else is bad and we're good; We must Win at all costs, because we're right. It's a fear-based reality where the boogeyman is out to get us, and EVERYONE else is the boogeyman. We need wars, weapons, and a very jaundiced eye toward anyone who talks or looks different. It's very convenient to play on this type of fear when Obama is so clearly "different." Russians, Iranians, and yes, Obamas are the enemy. The danger of this type of thinking is that at any time, YOU could easily become one of the bad and disenfranchised. Lose your home, or job and you're on the wrong side. Make a wrong decision, lose your health insurance, go broke and you're on the wrong side. Gay or alternative lifestyle? You are definitely wrong -- and here's the real danger -- not part of the Christian Pro-Life? War protester? You are anti-American! More wire-tapping and witch hunting. NO! It must stop!

If you care about real American values, like freedom and choice, then you simply cannot vote for McCain; it's too dangerous. We've seen our rights eroding over the past eight years and after watching tonight I felt a chill up my spine at the thought of McCain/Palin being the next "deciders." We're in trillions of dollars of debt and about to take on more. We can't continue favoring only the wealthiest (or war heroes or Christians) at the expense of everyone else.

Now, back to mindfulness. I had decided I simply couldn't continue with the political ranting. As I retire from my government day job, I've been spending more and more time with creative and spiritual pursuits. Mindfulness training is my true passion. The goal is to be mindful -- not just during meditation -- but off the cushion, as well. That means considering how my speech and actions affect others. Do no harm. So, I will strive to be more mindful of my actions, but at the same time, those who aspire to the highest office in this Democracy (and I still believe it is a Democracy not a banana republic) must also. Who is the most mindful candidate? For me, that is clearly Barack Obama. If you can make another case, please post below.