That's a Wrap...

The last day of the year is the first day of the rest of my life.
I'm ending a 25 year career with local government. I've been letting go for awhile. I credit Buddhist Mindfulness training and t'ai chi for that. I know I have far to go in being centered and calm, but I'm not nearly as angry and reactive as I was a couple of years ago. Friends threw a big party for me a week ago at a downtown hotel. It was fabulous having everyone I care for around me. We ate and drank and laughed. Now, I'm done with frustrating government work. Turn the page.

Everyone asks what I'll do next. Creative, fun stuff! In fact, the cathartic release from all that tension already resulted in a burst (ok, explosion) of art, journaling and even something I didn't think there was time to do. By pulling a couple of all-nighters, I was able to whip the novel (AKS) into shape and ship it off to the federal copyright office. eCO staff confirmed today my paperwork was filed correctly, so I think I'm safe to say "A Kindred Spirit" is now protected and can be spoken of aloud!! I've tried to be very careful about using the name and context of the story. I'll be editing and prepping for publication in early 2009 -- very exciting, indeed!

I created an entire word art of possibilities for 2009 and beyond. I'll have no trouble filling my days. I'm getting paid now to relax and have fun! How exciting is that? This year flew by. I hope the future ones go a little slower. I want to savor every free moment. After working 35 years (ten years in broadcasting before government), I am a Free Woman. I can do as I please -- travel or stay put. Write or go to t'ai chi. Read or watch a movie. Learn new things or just walk the dog. Visit friends or meditate. I could go on and on, but enough of that. The only thing I'm concerned about is the economy. Billion dollar ponsi schemes and trillion dollar bailouts are threatening my retirement fund and peaceful plans. I may have to spend my time learning more self-sufficiency skills.

So, good-bye my dear 2008. I captured a piece of you for my novel, and now must let you go. Who knows what 2009 will bring -- only time will tell. Happy New Year !!

What the Bleep?!#&^@!!

I hardly know where to start on this crazy bleepin' Chicago politics story -- but I can tell you it's probably not where you think. Unless some of this surveillance is video and actually shows money changing hands, I'm not sure what these "shocking and appalling" crimes are. If the US Attorney or special investigators weren't able to take out any of the oil thugs that have been in power in Washington for the past eight years -- the REAL "pay for play" -- then what in the world is all this fuss over a few idle threats in Illinois?

Why should Blagojevich resign? Because the media wants him to? Because he's "unfit to serve?" Good grief, George Bush was unfit to serve, killed thousands of innocent soldiers, and plunged the entire world into this Trillion Dollar financial crisis. All the Illinois Governor has done is allegedly make some off-handed comments that he can always claim were simply angry rants and poor judgement. "Taint? Scandal?" or the amazing "incompetent to hold office" -- I find that shocking and appalling. What might we have heard if our own Governor had been bugged? I hope Governor Rod and his "foul mouthed" First Lady hang tough. Cussing is not a crime. Make the investigators haul out their evidence in the light of day in court. So far all we have are a bunch of allegations. I love that he isn't talking on camera, other than, "I'll have a lot to say in the proper forum." Love it! Make the bleepin' media squirm!

Meanwhile, gals, we have our own Governor to ogle! Let the bald or creepy comb-overs or shaved headed dudes make fun of his "bad hair day" -- they're just jealous! We've brought back big bell bottoms and platform shoes, why not big hair?
(Envision the "Hair" musical soundtrack -
Give me a head with hair, long beautiful hair -- Shining, gleaming,Streaming, flaxen, waxen...)
And, there is one thing the media can do -- give us more shots of this sexy Governor in his jogging suit! (I get the last wink on that one!!)

A Game of Make-Believe

Before I move off the writing topic (actually, I may never move off -- it's my future), I've been thinking about what makes the "Best Fiction." A book that Mo and I looked at this weekend is called Novel 100. It ranks the "greatest Novels of all time." The fact they are novels rules out shorter works and other types of fiction. And, by the author's so-called rules, fantasy was not included. ha! So, I made my own list of what I consider the Best Fiction. My criteria is memorableness, impact (aka, transcendental power) and immersive quality. What's that? Not so much the famed "willing suspension of disbelief" as how "drawn in" I am. Total Immersion would be a 5-star for me. Here's what quickly came to mind, without exhaustive analysis or thought, for my Top Ten;

1. Don Quixote - Cervantes
2. A Christmas Carol - Dickens
3. Foucault's Pendulum - Umberto Eco
4. "the Raven" - Edgar Allan Poe *
5. Alice in Wonderland - Lewis Carroll (aka Charles Dodgson)
6. the "Divine Comedy" - Dante
7. the Hobbit - J.R.R. Tolkien
8. Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep (aka Blade Runner) - Philip k Dick
9. the Teachings of Don Juan - Carlos Castaneda
10. Frankestein - Mary Shelley
    * example of Poe's own Principle of Composition

Honorable mentions go to Anne Rice for "Interview with a Vampire"; Isaac Asimov's "Foundation" series; HG Well's "Time Machine"; CyberPunk daddy William Gibson's "Neuromancer" and punkish protege Neal Stephenson's "Snow Crash" and last but definitely not least, Oscar Wilde's "Picture of Dorian Gray" (long time personal fav on immortality and I hear a movie is coming in 2009!) Kafka and Kerouac must be mentioned! And, I only "suggested" that make-believe was essential.

I'm shocked that my list is so heavily male dominated. Therefore, I pledge to spend time with the 100 Best Works by Women Writers in retirement! Please add your own list or favs below (by comment.) After all, what's a blog for if not to share thoughts!)

Another November, another 50,000 words, another NaNo done! TgIo for sure! But, first one must bask briefly in the feeling of accomplishment, regardless of how one got across the finish line (and some of us had to resort to very strange practices to make it), but in the end, WHO CARES! We've got our banners and purple bars to console us!

Come to mama, little AKS book....

And, may I never work on the damn thing during another NaNo... ever! I'm sure I've said this before, but if I don't Copyright this friggin' thing and move on (.org) then PLEASE just shoot me.

I will copyright on the Solstice (yes, of 2008) and at least have that dickian date on my novel for once and forever. yay! And, as our favorite gal, Scarlett said, "Oh Fiddle Dee -- I'll just think about that tomorrow." I will think about final pre-publication editing next year (when I'm retired.)

Today, I must log off, and go outside -- I've been tied to this keyboard too damn long!!

NaNo Time!

Forget the election, forget the stock market crash, forget that I'm about to retire and have a million things to do so I can LEAVE the office. It's November and that means...
National Novel Writing Month!

Yes, more powerful than a locomotive, able to outrun a speeding bullet, I will leap the high government buildings in a single bound and finish that novel! No plot? No problem -- I am a Chris Baty disciple. We just write! 50,000 words in a month, five thousand every three days -- child's play. Ha!! Carpel tunnel here I come!

10 Days Left

On a strange day with both candidates campaigning here in ABQ,
a little levity might be in order:

You go Big O -- NY Times Endorsement! Over 40K in ABQ!! Get involved, Act Blue Blog! Don't Wait... Vote NOW! And, try the new Tax Cut Calculator widget (to the right.) I'll save several hundred with Obama (try FULL calculator for most savings.)

Truly Vile

In the final weeks of this Presidential campaign, I think it can't get worse, and then it does -- RNC mailings that portray Obama as a terrorist, and more abhorrent character smears against Obama from right wing racists like Rush Limbaugh. Joe Biden is absolutely correct when he begs McCain to stop now before this divisiveness ends in some unspeakable tragedy.

Have things always been this bad in the USA? I think so. This nation has always been divided from our inception, through Civil War times, to 1960's assassinations and now this awful bigotry over Arabic people, Muslims and blacks. Obama can check "none of the above." He's not Arabic nor Muslim, and being of mixed race, can identify with Caucasian if he wants. Sometimes I wonder why anyone would want to brag about being "white." I'm often terribly embarrassed to be associated with such intolerant and ignorant people. Which parts of the US are the Pro-American parts, Sarah? Good Grief!

Lest the Limbaughs and Palin-esk antagonists recall, America was founded by protesters and radicals. Those who had enough courage and backbone to get up and leave the oppressive English "mother land." Our Founding Fathers must be rolling in their graves when they hear McCain and Palin express American values. Ha! Real American values keep religion and governance totally separate. It's Un-American to have Pentecostal Holy Rollers dictating what religion means. No one knows more about Pentecostals than I do. I was raised with that crap before I totally rejected it as demonic insanity. Pentecostals are the most racist, bigoted bunch I've ever seen. They preach that Catholics, Muslims and Buddhists will all burn in hell. They only believe in their brand of Christianity, which surely isn't (Christian at all.)

So, maybe it's finally time that us radicals, you know the True Blood Patriots, "toss the bums out" meaning tell the right wing fascists to take a hike -- like to another country. Really. Go start your own government SOMEWHERE ELSE! This one belongs to independent minded radicals who appreciate someone who looks different than an uptight, white Archie Bunker bigot. I'll resume the meditation posture after the election. Drastic times call for drastic measures, and right now I guess I just don't have a Gandhi bone left in my aching body. Click to donate or help the Obama campaign stop McCain from taking the low road to our Whitehouse.

Letting Go

Wow, what a week of lessons about what we think we have and letting go. I was forced to let go of a substantial quantity of paper wealth.
(I think I could speak in the plural here, since I was not alone on this lesson, but I'll stay singular, thanks.) What are those six stages of grief? Shock -- Yep! seeing the Dow take the biggest one week plunge since the Great Depression was shocking in the extreme; Denial (yes, "please don't let this be happening"); Anger (oh my, yes... an understatement!); Depression (absolutely!); Bargaining (hmmmm "I will never again invest in stocks if you just let me live through this.") ; Acceptance? Not yet, but that's where I am at this moment and why I'm blogging. I'm trying to accept. Trying to let go. And, not just of the numbers on a piece of paper, but of the anger and frustration.

This particular anger is over feeling screwed for doing "the right thing" all these years. I didn't leverage myself to the hilt and buy some extravagant home beyond my means. I've stayed in my modest little house, with my modest mortgage and invested. And now I wonder, "Invested in what?" A bunch of a-hole CEO's that robbed their own corporations blind? The companies are now bankrupt -- GM (stock under $5), AIG (down from $70 a share to under $2) Citi Group (once at $55 was at $12 a share) and even my beloved tech stocks were ravaged -- values cut in half. At one point this week 1499 of the 1500 companies on the NYSE were at all time lows!! The companies are just as screwed as I am -- as you are, if you lost money in your IRA, 401K or even our PERA Plan which is down several Billion now.

So, yes, I'm angry at this situation and feeling grief for our country. How did WE (yes, in the plural) allow this to happen? As some of the commentators have asked, "Where were the grown ups?" It's as if a bunch of greedy, drunken juvenile delinquents robbed us blind. Only JD's are usually caught and sent to jail. These insanely greedy CEO's with their multi-million "Golden Parachutes" are somewhere laughing their asses off at our stupidity. Will any of them go to prison for this mess?

And, I'm angry that now we're in more hock (nearly a Trillion in this Bail Out Plan, TARP) and it isn't working. This could take years, just like the War in Iraq, to resolve. So, where's that Letting Go? That Lesson in all this?

Well, there are many. I could wax philosophical about Capitalism, materialism, even Socialism -- but there will be plenty of that in days to come. But, for now, looking at the Grief Model, psychologists say:

You will start to look forward and actually plan for the future. Eventually, you will be able to think about your loss without pain; sadness, yes, but eventually the gut wrenching pain will be gone. You will once again anticipate good times to come, and even find joy again in the experience of living.

And, with that, it's back to releasing my Kleshas for the Padawan, 'cause as the Buddhists are fond of saying --
"Contentment is the greatest form of wealth."

Out of the Muck

I've been trying to figure out how to reconcile my mindfulness practice (which is calm and inwardly focused) to my near rage and desire to blast out at the political fear-mongering McCain tactics. Then I realized how these issues are directly related.

In one of the Compassion parables, the story goes that a person leaves the market, arms full of produce and food for their family. Another person roughly bumps into them and both fall down amid broken eggs, running juice and bruised fruits and vegetables. The angry shopper is about to yell out, "Are you blind?" when he realizes the person who bumped him is indeed blind. His anger quickly vanishes, and he helps the blind person up out of the muck.

So, I want to yell out, "Are you stupid?" to the voters who seem so blind to the vicious and abhorrent McCain tactics, but then I realize many of them truly are ignorant -- oblivious to the facts. It's our responsibility to shed light on the facts, not join the name calling and same nasty tactics we despise. McCain, of all politicians, should have compassion recalling the unconscionable tactics Bush used to destroy him in the 2000 republican primary.

Resorting to character assassination by attempting to link Obama to a 1960's radical anti-war activist (when Obama was only a child at that time) is ridiculous. Clear-eyed facts are our only hope of winning this election. Irrational emotional responses will only escalate tensions and divisions.

This is why I must stop ranting here. As much as I want to rant, and ranting is my Number One Klesha, it's the absolute antithesis to converting even one voter to Obama. Compassion, not anger, is the only antidote to fear. And, fear is the issue. People are afraid of terrorists, evil, the economy, loss of jobs, wall street "fat cats", and mostly of losing the America they love. If we, as Democrats, aren't compassionate and assuring, republicans and even independents, will run ever further to the Right (you know, their "guns and religion" - yikes how offensive was that!)

Ranting won't help. Making fun of Palin on SNL, in the media and blogosphere, is a sure fire way to increase opposition to Obama. So is Maher's outrageous commentary and "Religulous" mocking movie. Kay's compassionate messages and taking time to speak one-on-one with people is our only hope. Thank you Kay, and may we all be more mellow and less hostile, in our message of Hope. Let's think before we curse at the blind person. And, even better, let's help them out of the muck.

Mindfulness

Why "mindfulness?" I'll come to that. But, as an American I can't ignore the elephant in the living room which of course was John McCain in tonight's Presidential debate.

A McCain presidency is only beneficial to a very narrow group of people. It's a very simplistic, controlled world view of right and wrong. A view where everyone else is bad and we're good; We must Win at all costs, because we're right. It's a fear-based reality where the boogeyman is out to get us, and EVERYONE else is the boogeyman. We need wars, weapons, and a very jaundiced eye toward anyone who talks or looks different. It's very convenient to play on this type of fear when Obama is so clearly "different." Russians, Iranians, and yes, Obamas are the enemy. The danger of this type of thinking is that at any time, YOU could easily become one of the bad and disenfranchised. Lose your home, or job and you're on the wrong side. Make a wrong decision, lose your health insurance, go broke and you're on the wrong side. Gay or alternative lifestyle? You are definitely wrong -- and here's the real danger -- not part of the Christian Pro-Life? War protester? You are anti-American! More wire-tapping and witch hunting. NO! It must stop!

If you care about real American values, like freedom and choice, then you simply cannot vote for McCain; it's too dangerous. We've seen our rights eroding over the past eight years and after watching tonight I felt a chill up my spine at the thought of McCain/Palin being the next "deciders." We're in trillions of dollars of debt and about to take on more. We can't continue favoring only the wealthiest (or war heroes or Christians) at the expense of everyone else.

Now, back to mindfulness. I had decided I simply couldn't continue with the political ranting. As I retire from my government day job, I've been spending more and more time with creative and spiritual pursuits. Mindfulness training is my true passion. The goal is to be mindful -- not just during meditation -- but off the cushion, as well. That means considering how my speech and actions affect others. Do no harm. So, I will strive to be more mindful of my actions, but at the same time, those who aspire to the highest office in this Democracy (and I still believe it is a Democracy not a banana republic) must also. Who is the most mindful candidate? For me, that is clearly Barack Obama. If you can make another case, please post below.

Houdini Politics

When is a Republican not a Republican? It's Magic! No, it's John McCain trying to BS Americans into believing that he's not really a Republican. He criticizes the Beltway Boys yet is essentially a lifer in that club, having served 26 years in Washington. He's going to shake himself up? Oh, yeah, the maverick... a wild ass, rip roaring rebel who literally put me to sleep during his boring RNC speech. Can someone remind me, please, why he was considered a maverick? For disagreeing with his party? Read on.

He was, and is, a Reagan Republican and when we look back at St Reagan we know that trickle down economics and illegal arms trading (the Iran-Contra Affair) were disasters. But, forget ancient history, let's look at more recent times. He's a staunch supporter of the Bush/Cheney Iraq war -- in the beginning and even if it lasts 100 years, in his own words. And, voted FOR the Patriot Act -- originally (as most Senators did), but McCain voted to REAUTHORIZE in 2006, when thinking folks were voting no. The controversial Patriot Act is the law that enables wiretapping and surveillance against anyone (you or me) and we can be arrested and thrown in jail WITHOUT DUE PROCESS if suspected of "terrorist activities." (like blogging?) Check McCain's positions:
Civil Liberties | Everything.

But, if you don't care about your rights (to speak, write, practice your own religion, make choices about your own body) then vote for these "rebels." Real rebels and mavericks would not support these truly anti-American laws. Like lambs to slaughter, McCain and Palin will lead us further into repression and recession, whistling as we go, blinded by Pretty Woman and POW. Don't be fooled again.

As my friend reminded me yesterday, of Americans: fool me once (Bush) shame on you. Fool me twice (Bush re-elected, Shame on US.) Three times? Then were just damn fools!

Northern Exposure

My, my! I'm sitting here eating my Caribou Coffee bar pondering where to grab a mooseburger for lunch. I can hardly believe that Mr. McSame picked the Alaskan "MooseChick" Governor, Sarah Palin, for his running mate. Wow! At first blush, it might seem that wild women like myself might enjoy this and consider voting for the newly formed ticket. No how, no Way! As soon as you investigate this gun-totin', Moose huntin' mama, you find out she's Ultra Conservative. Pro-life and NRA lifer (an oxymoron), pro oil drilling (right into the northern nature preserves), anti-gay, extreme religious right -- the hits just keep on coming. So, forget Sarah, Plain and Tall.
What I do like is that my oddball collection of Northern Exposure videos and DVDs will increase in value. I can have a lot of fun with this, like why not download the Northern Exposure theme song to your cell phone? I might ;) (at least have a listen, it's GREAT!) Don't remember this show? Best bone up on all things Northern!

Labor Day (sic) Moose Mama Update: Thankfully the wild web stories that little Twig (or is it Trig) is Palin's baby and not her grandson were false. Her teenage daughter is pregnant. These people breed like rabbits and that's my concern with the famous Pro-Life stance. What if we all wanted 5 - 10 kids and they were all procreating as soon as their hormones allowed? The planet is too crowded now. More of us need to be as responsible with human offspring as we are with our pets. The real immorality is allowing humanity to increase exponentially when we don't have the resources to manage what we have now.

And, finally, open message to big mouth James Carvelle: Shut Up! Let them run her for VP. Wish I could play poker against you (showing your hand.) If you force her out, McSame might wise up and get a real contender. duh!

Infinite Galactic Gateway

Only those who know me really well will know what I mean when I say "my contract has expired." I felt it was my Mission - my life's purpose to publish my PKD/ "end times" novel on this auspicious date.
It's extremely difficult to watch this date pass by and my important message remains unfinished.

My novel starts with Doomsday hype surrounding the Great Cosmic Alignment of 1982 and ends with some ideas about the Solstice of 2012: which is 12-21-2012 and the end of the Mayan calendar. Why can't I complete this project? I struggle constantly with my resistance. (Maybe it's not yet time?)

The mystical and mysterious meaning of these dates will be included in the story -- because I'm not tossing in the towel or giving up yet. The concepts in AKS just become more complex and more crucial. Sigh -- it will emerge eventually, and in time to reveal 11:11 and 2012 prophecies. It must!

So, this date (in '08) belongs to the Olympics and Clay Aiken (America's singer) whose son was born at 8:08 AM on 08-08-08. And, to my tragically tainted John Edwards whose entire exceptional career is now ruined over the personal intimacy he shared with a documentary producer. In the future only cloistered, emotionally impoverished prudes (or Mother Theresa and the Dalai Lama), can qualify for US President. Now that is tragic. We'll never have another handsome, passionate John F. Kennedy in this tabloid climate. Our paranoid population prefers McSame, and is too ignorant to see that the likes of him and Bush are the reason for wars and why terrorists hate the USA. Yes -- my Galactic Gateway to Infinity is tarnished and thankfully, now it's gone.

Total Solar Eclipse

From Canada to Outer Mongolia, millions of people observed a Total Solar Eclipse today. For those of us in the US, who could only enjoy in Second Life, here's a fun page with a video replay.

Total eclipses (solar or lunar) have always been considered omens. But, regardless of your beliefs or thoughts, it's an awe-inspiring phenomenon. It's amazing that the earth is just the right distance from the sun and moon so the moon can appear to perfectly eclipse the sun. Any variation in those distances would not create the perfect obscured effect. (You can observe demonstrations of this fact on the various sites here.)

I thought I remembered a total Solar Eclipse from my childhood, but according to this map there would not have been one where I grew up (in the Midwest) since before I was born. The one in 1991 passed sort of close to New Mexico, and I recall going out on the plaza during the day using the "pin hole in paper" method to view it on a piece of cardboard, since we didn't get the total effect here.

If you want to plan for the next total Solar Eclipse visible in the US, here you go. (It's not until 2017, so you have some time ;)

Wesak Moon

Two months since I posted -- wow! I know why. I had decided that blogging was bogus. Why should I put all my personal thoughts and feelings on the web for every weirdo to view? Why publish a book, then, if that's the attitude? Why bother with anything?
OK, that said, I've decided to only post material that would be beneficial -- not just ranting and raving as I was before on the old blog and even here.

Yes, Tolle got to me. I was listening to Eckhart Tolle before, during and after his Oprah "outting." Not that kind of outting -- his unveiling to the public. I think he's the "real deal" and very inspirational.

and, now for Wesak -- a Festival for the full moon in May . It's the highest holy day (s) for devout Buddhists. Vesak (pronounced way-sak), commemorates Buddha's birth, death, and enlightenment and occurs every year on the full moon in May. Many devotees wear simple white clothing and spend the whole day in temples with renewed determination to observe and meditate on the Noble Truths and Eight Precepts. Since the actual Wesak Moon is Monday (at 8:11 pm MDT), I'll begin the ceremonies now (Sunday) and try to hold the intention during the phase of the moon. Always difficult on work days, but that's the most important lesson; staying centered in the face of adversity. Om mani padme hum

Free Tibet

I have a dirty, dusty bumper sticker that's been on my front window for 18 years (since 1990); "Boycott China, Save Tibet."
When I stuck it there all those years ago, I vowed to leave it until the Dalai Lama was allowed to return to his homeland in Tibet. How sad that not only have things not improved in those 18 years, they are so much worse now.

Several dozen (as many as 80) Tibetans and Buddhist monks were killed in riots in the past week. Chinese troops were surrounding Drepung monastery in Lhasa, with hundreds of monks still inside. I really want to expose what the chinese communist "boss" said (don't know his title, he was referred to as this on PBS.) I saw him speaking these words on PBS; "The Dalai Lama is a jackal. An evil spirit with the heart of a beast." I wanted to spit at the real lying jackal on my tv set.

Here is the direct quote from the Dalai Lama, "I appeal to the Chinese leadership to stop using force and address the long-simmering resentment of the Tibetan people through dialogue with the Tibetan people. I also urge my fellow Tibetans not to resort to violence."

Anyone who knows anything about the Dalai Lama knows he stands for Peace and Compassion. That has been his life-long teaching. He is a world treasure and even in the face of this horrible situation continues to urge non-violence. But, this was, after all, Tibetan National Uprising Day -- the equivalent of our Independence Day -- only we're free. Tibetan monks are still tortured, gagged, and silenced by their chinese occupiers.

Imagine 49 years of occupation! It will be a full 50 years next year, and even monks grow weary of daily abuse. Who could blame them? How in the world would we (Americans) act? We couldn't tolerate one attack on our precious soil (2001), and we'd be violent every day if our land was occupied. Try to imagine our homes and churches occupied -- our rights and weapons taken away. Americans can hardly conceive of such a thing, yet we occupy other countries (like Iraq) and support these chinese thugs even as our children are dying thanks to their poison toys and other imported junk. I end as I began, "Boycott china" -- their junk, their coming games, and for god's sake: FREE Tibet!

Wild Mind

In Buddhist meditation the goal is taming the wild mind. We sit quietly, and notice our jumble of thoughts without judging them. We label it "thinking" -- no matter what it is -- let go and try again. Natalie Goldberg, a long time Zen student, called one of her early books on writing "Wild Mind." It doesn't get much better than that for describing the writer's dilemma. On one hand you want crazy uncontrolled thoughts and emotions to spill out onto the page. The wilder the better. But the time comes to stop tossing words and ideas. Structure, architecture and even research are required to create something coherent out of the mess. Art? Fiction? What is it?

Today I was talking to another struggling novelist. He has the best take on creative writing -- that first and foremost it's for us. When an amateur musician sits down to play the piano on the weekend, he or she doesn't think about how to record the music and sell a CD of it; at least not at first. First, you learn to play the piano and practice. Then you might play to relax and unwind. A person can play music or paint just for the pleasure of it, and everyone understands that. Why, then, do amateur weekend novelists feel so obsessed with publishing? I just want to write for my own enjoyment. I want to release this obsession with how and when to publish. It's completely ruining my writing pleasure and the quality of the work itself.

Before I started my friggin' albatross-around-my-neck novel, I used to write for pleasure. Sometimes poems, sometimes "rants" and sometimes just weird blurbs that had no particular purpose. Those were the most fun. I think that's why I like the blog. If I get a wild idea, I can just go off on a tangent. I don't really care who reads it, or if anyone likes it. It's just for "fun."

Back to the novel. Tonight, actually as of 3-6-2008, I'm declaring my novel a pleasure piece. I'm writing for my own amusement and benefit. Scriblerian schmaltz! Oh no, just when I thought I could relax and goof off, I hear the heavy wooden door of "the Cloister of No Return" creak open. Monk Natalie beckons me. She speaks of craft and voice. Enter at your own risk.

the Scroll

No, not the lost Gnostic religious scroll. Not even the "Z" Sect (Zaddokite) scroll fragment #28 discovered in my novel, AKS. Nope, I'm talking about a continuous paper roll like the one Kerouac used when he rewrote his Road novel in a three week frenzy. The scroll that Wayne thinks I should toss in the Van and "just get after it." ROFLOL

Thanks to computers – especially laptops -- I don't need a giant paper roll and a heavy old Olivetti typewriter. I have an endless amount of disk space. So, if I do rewrite over 80K words in three weeks, I can just scream, “Yes, Yes!” as Dean Moriarty the maniac would.

I’ve spent years trying to understand what's wrong with my WIP (“Work in Progress” as Joyce called his.) When I finally had the “ah ha” moment, it was this simple -- it’s too adult. I always thought it was too juvenile. It was too juvenile for an “important” work, but too adult for nonsense. It's neither, nor and there lies the problem. If I’m successful (with the roll and rapid rewrite) it will become a blend of reality and nonsense, mixed genres and maybe even a little biography. The best writing, IMHO, delights young and old alike.

It may have taken James Joyce 17 years to write his WIP (Finnegans Wake), but I have to say it’s still not accessible. Dedicated scholars have spent years trying to comprehend it, and can’t. I can say this because Joyce is dead. I once said something critical to a budding young new age writer and he killed himself. I know I’m not responsible for his death, but that doesn’t change how you feel when that happens. Telling someone they aren’t communicating is dangerous and insensitive. Harsh criticism along the way sure set me back (for years), but as they say what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger. I endured.

Erudite, important literature has a place. But in a time when only one in four Americans even read a single book (2006), and if print books are on the way out (as I speculated in my last entry), then “nonsense” may be just the ticket. How many million -- or billion -- Harry Potter books have been read? Among our most enduring and most loved works are “Alice in Wonderland,” “Peter Pan (aka Peter and Wendy),” and though more popular as a movie, “the Wonderful Wizard of Oz.” Add to that Harry Potter and maybe someday, “A Kindred Spirit.” I should be so fortunate to ever be in that illustrious company.

I do envision a movie, too, Mr. D, but first things first. I need to move at warp maniacal speed and crank out some nonsense. Those hypno sessions are certainly helping. "You can't wait to write. Your fingers are flying over the keyboard." (something like that.) I'm doing it. Yes, really, I am. The clock is ticking and calendar pages are flying by. 08, can't wait. Let's go...

digi-mags and cell phone novels

It's time to face it, print books are going the way of vinyl records, 8-track tapes and bulky VHS cartridges. I can hear the groan as I write this. I'm not saying I agree or think it's a good thing. I love the look, texture and smell of a freshly bound book. I like to handle them, gaze at them on my shelves and yes, read them. But, I can see the writing on the LCD. Smaller, hand-held devices and digi text is what the current generation is accustomed to. HG Wells saw this in his Time Machine novel over 100 years ago. Books would become relics and turn to dust. Who can manage so much paper and volume? Not future generations. A mobile society will not haul boxes of books around when a 500 gig SATA drive costs under $100 and can easily hold an entire public library (7.5 million volumes could be stored in .zip format in 2.6 terabytes.) Your average 4-gig thumb drive can hold the text of 10,000 books. (source: Project Gutenberg) 30,000 books could be stored in 12 gigabytes, and we'll see 12 gig flash drives this year! You could carry around every word in 30,000 books in less space and weight than your average wristwatch.

Online data has already completely revolutionized research. I didn't have to make a physical trip to California to get information I need for my novel. I could take a virtual trip with Google Earth, view 3D renderings of the buildings, use panoramic photography to see interiors, and of course all information in the world is somewhere within Google's grasp.

This morning I saw a TV segment (CBS Sunday Morning) on cell phone novels. Huh? Kids in Japan are writing novels on their cell phones and uploading them to the internet. One woman has sold 800,000 copies and made over $8 million doing this. It's clearly time to completely reconsider what "publishing" means. I thought of this years ago when I told my friend JC that I envisioned some multi-dimensional novel with more than one ending. But, that time is NOW!

I'm looking at the 2008 Writer's Digest Yearbook and Harper Collins is publishing to iPhone now. Sales of e-books have tripled from 2006 to now (according to WD.) Podcasting and Audible by- pass print media altogether for those who want to listen, rather than view text. I don't have an answer here, but I sure have a lot more questions. I may jump into the e-frey with my novel. I was thinking POD anyway (print on demand.) hmmmmm.

Epiphany

There's no real consensus regarding this Christian holiday. It could be when the Magi discovered the infant Jesus. Or, it could be when Jesus was baptized (according to Eastern Orthodox churches.) It's definitely the end of the 12 days of Christmas. (Where's my ten Lords a leapin'??) Today I had my own epiphany. I have them fairly frequently.

I was investigating Sufism. I did not realize that Sufis are Islamic mystics. Sufism is to Islam, as Zen is to Buddhism, or as Gnosticism is to Christianity -- the Inner Knowing. I knew it was another ancient Persian sect, famous for the Whirling Dervish. Now I know why they whirl ;) They're Enlightened! (Gordon, you should have said so!)

All the major organized religions have an experiential component. Cabbalists are the mystical seers of the Jewish religion. Gnostics receive divine guidance without Priests or Pastors to assist them. Zen is a direct transmission of knowledge without anyone uttering a word. Taoists were the original Chinese mystics. Sufis are those who have awakened and understand the Way (Muhammad's Way.) What I find fascinating is a statement that Sufis appear during times when Islamic fervor and Muslim misinterpretation is rampant. So, there must be a significant Sufi supply now (and in fact, web sources indicate there are.) Really interesting is the original name of an Egyptian Sufi sect was Al-Kindi. They were here to speak against evil perversion of Islamic teachings. Now, look how perverse that has become -- twisted into the current Al-Qaeda, exactly the opposite of what the Sufis were trying to convey.

And, even though the Sufis are here to correct distortions of the teachings, they still believe a strict code is necessary for daily life. So it's said there can be no Sufism without Islam. Muslims believe that the Qur'an is the literal word of God (Allah) as recited to Muhammad through the Angel Gabriel. Sufis also believe this, but they continue to receive insights and inner guidance on how to interpret the message.

So there you have a Zen/Taoist perspective on Islam on this Christian holiday. It's not blasphemy -- just insight. I think perhaps I should write a Peace Treatise. We certainly need one.