the Peace Page

Nearly ten years ago (2003) I wrote "the Peace Page." I sent it as a holiday letter and then posted on my old web page. I was going to post it here, and had thoughts of using it and some other material as a first draft of the Peace Treatise my dad so wanted me to write. But, I have to say it's just not as great as I remember it. Here is a quickly edited, abridged version:
On Being Mad: Many of us spend a lot of energy on anger. We feel frustrated when things don't go the way we want. We get angry at others who hurt or disappoint us, or steal our joy. The truth is, no one can make us angry or steal our joy. We make ourselves mad, sick and angry. Being mad only hurts us. We get sick and dis-eased. Remember;

• How people ACT is their business. How we RE-ACT is our business.
  
• Hatred does not hurt our enemies -- it only hurts us.

On Letting Go: We often hear, "just let it go." Buddhism teaches about "letting go." But how do we do that? We can know that clinging to bitterness and other toxic emotions, like anger, only hurts us, but how can we actually let go of those emotions? Visualizations can help more than layering on more thoughts and feelings. Picture the hate, frustration, despair (insert any emotion here) as an actual object. Make it gross and disgusting. Perhaps a rotted, stinking piece of food. Why cling to that? Would you want to consume that thing? Hell NO! Then why keep bitter, rotting feelings within you? Remember, toxic emotions -- like rotted food -- only hurt you, no one else. Let go of them! Okay, that's just a couple of ideas from the Peace Page. Next I'll post my edited "take" on a friend's Facebook note about the Shift. Did it happen and what is it? Til then, take a breath, smile and toss out the rotted food. ahhhh!

Non-Violent Response?

So, #OccupyWallStreet (on Twitter) REALLY got me going. I loved the #OccupyBurque crowd -- cheered them on, honking and waving on Central Avenue Saturday. But then Saturday night I was getting really hot under the collar reading right-wing Tweets. As usual I began to lambaste the worst offenders for their “ignorant views” such as claiming that liberals are just jealous of the rich. I am NOT envious of extreme greed and outrageous resistance to paying their fair share of taxes. I donate as much as I can to help those less fortunate and I make a pittance of the 1% Wall Street wealthy. Yes, I’ve invested in stocks over the years, but with companies of my choice, companies I want to support, not the "greedy bastards" (as Dylan Ratigan calls them in his book) that invented or use leveraged derivatives to make obscene amounts of money at the expense of innocent home owners. I stand with the 99% who have lost their jobs and homes over such excessive greed and corruption that has come from the alleged “self-regulation” of corporate America.

That said, the real point of this post is that my Buddhist Teacher, Pema Chodron, reminds us that whenever we feel really challenged (or angry) it’s definitely an opportunity to expand our Practice. In particular the teachings of today's audio were so timely as she described Peace Activists often being the most angry and aggressive protestors. I’ve used her example of this before when she describes turning down the sound on the television and seeing two “red faced men” arguing. You cannot distinguish one side from the other. All you see is anger.

Her point: in pitting opinion against opinion, no progress takes place. You cannot hear the other side when each person is shouting over the other. In the non-violent view (on this International Day of Non-Violence today, honoring Ghandi's birthday 10.2.1869), is it POSSIBLE to stop and actually HEAR another point of view? Ghandi, the Dalai Lama and Pema all claim it is. They teach that we don't have to give up our beliefs, but that we can be open enough to listen and at least agree to disagree. I find it very hard -- nearly impossible -- to listen to those who quickly resort to name-calling. Some right-wing tweeter insisted on calling the peaceful protestors "loons." Of course, I wanted to call him an ignorant asshole. So, where does that get us?? As Pema says, just two red-faced angry people.

We have to find a way back to civil discourse in this country. Congress is at an impasse: Republicans vs. Democrats, liberals vs. conservatives, rich vs. poor, and we find disagreements and differing views escalating on every front. There is no respect or willingness to listen. How do we get out of this stalemate?

A Change of Heart

Remember the 60s Peaceniks? Some of you are too young. Peace"Nik" (Niki) in my story, A Kindred Spirit, tried to recreate the feeling traveling around in her funky Westfalia van, searching for Peace, only to discover it's an inner journey. Pema Chodron, my Guru and favorite author, says ONLY a change of heart can provide ourselves and the world with peace.

Here's my "final answer" to the Million Dollar Question: What is the difference between passion and anger?

First, I have to make the case ;) I said on my Facebook note "No Help" that yelling for peace is not the answer. Even a Peacenik can't clobber someone with her peace sign to change the world situation.

And this fab story, about Angry Faces, told by Pema has stuck with me since I heard it years ago. A guy in prison has TV but no sound. He sees an angry white guy in KKK garb pointing his finger. Later he sees teenagers on a ship, red-faced, leaning over the ship rail screaming and waving Greenpeace signs. Finally, he sees scenes of Washington DC, the domed Capitol building, and inside men in suits with angry red faces, pounding their tables. The prison guard comes by and asks why he doesn't turn on the sound. The prisoner says no need -- doesn't matter if they're wearing KKK hats, peace signs or business suits, they all have the same angry faces.

So, we establish that passion and anger CAN be the same. Now, how are they different? Because anger starts when we harden our hearts. As long as everyone is outraged at everyone ELSE's beliefs or actions, there will always be war. Anger leads to red-faced fighting over our self-righteous points of view. But, it is possible to be Passionate about a change of heart... to opening our heart in a calm, rational way where we learn to LISTEN! And, I say the key is LISTENING not screaming. When I can stop and actually hear what you are saying, and just sit with it awhile, there is a chance we can find common ground. And I can get really passionate about that idea, without an iota of anger, my friend. Let's smoke the Peace Pipe! (yikes -- another case of how our real forefathers had a better idea than the angry red-faced pilgrims who came carrying guns.) And, with that, I'm off to Losar. Today is the Tibetan New Year, a good day to listen, learn and open my heart to new ideas. PEACE! better yet, Namaste!

Assault Weapons

I have tried not to get into controversial subjects -- politics, gun control, debates on God or Christianity -- because I am working on my judgmental nature and anger issues. The Tucson Tragedy has brought all of the above to the forefront. Instead of entering my own commentary on guns, I'm going to link to a favorite blog of mine, The Buddhist Blog . (You can see his other posts after you read the weapons one.)

James is able to convey these ideas in a calm, measured way that I have not yet achieved. Enjoy his post (s). Namaste!

Alone vs. Lonely

I'm often amazed that so many people assume being single or solo also means being lonely. Is it better to be with someone who causes stress and anxiety, than to enjoy the many benefits of solitude? Not for me.

One of the few blogs I read is "Solo Traveler." I linked to her description of this topic in my title. But, another contributor on her site wrote a fabulous article on traveling alone to "still the anger." Here's a great excerpt;

The best thing about solo travel is that it can be anything you want it to be, because, ultimately, everything you do is totally up to you. It can be rehabilitative, healing, reflective, cheap, luxurious, serious or just plain unadulterated fun. It can even be a mix of all these. It all depends on the experience you want out of it and if you want to take this opportunity to discover yourself or challenge your boundaries.

Read the whole article for his perspective on the anger part. (And, look at those fab pics of Australia! I'll be checking out his blog, too.) I spend a lot of time pondering the anger angle and use all the Buddhist and Taoist techniques I can find to deal with it. But, for this post, I'm primarily considering solo travel.

I admit I have anxieties about it. I could write a tome on the pros and cons. Many pros were succinctly said in the quote. I would add no one nagging about directions or schedules. If I want to veer off to see something, I do. My dog does not question why. She's happy to go wherever I go. That's a huge plus! I guess technically I'm not solo, since I opt for RV Van travel so she can go with me. It's not a minor point -- being ALONE is different from traveling with dog. Izzi is a companion and protects me. She just can't help with heavy lifting. sigh...
And, I'm only speaking about road trips. If I was flying to foreign countries, I might have an entirely different take on travel, and I'm afraid I couldn't do it with a dog. I guess I'll consider that later when (IF) I truly am solo.

Finally, on a recent Charlie Rose show (late night PBS) Rose asked E.L Doctorow why someone would look inward rather than outward. Wow, I was blown away and E.L. looked rather stunned, too. It's really a bias toward coupling and especially here in the U.S. An automatic assumption that all answers are "out there" -- for God, for happiness and for society. I strongly believe that if you aren't comfortable in your own skin, you can never successfully be part of a couple or society.