Meditation and Dharma

GREAT Post, Great site: Meditation Journal

Sometimes I write here, and sometimes I write in emptiness. Sometimes I write about meditation. Sometimes writing is meditation.

Exploring Inner Space

That's the topic for today's section in the Sadhana (retreat program), but I'm going to veer off a bit and then circle back.

At the long life ceremony for His Holiness the 14th Dalai Lama (at the conclusion of the Kalachakra 2012 in Bodhgaya ) Westerners got a rare glimpse of a secretive aspect of Tibetan Buddhism. The Oracles (in trance!) can be seen in the sixth photo (of the previous link.) There are now THREE Oracles that HHDL consults during auspicious events such as the Kalachakra event. Until about a year ago, I don't think anyone in the general public had seen any of these Oracles in trance, and only serious scholars and advanced practitioners probably knew of them (please comment and correct me if I'm wrong on this.) HHDL decided to allow a documentary, which I will link to later, to be filmed in 2010. I think his decision might have been tied to the ongoing controversy over the Shugden spirit (a former Oracle that you might say has haunted HHDL.) That is also addressed in the documentary.

I have to say my mind was blown when I saw the Oracles appearing right there on Ustream last night. I didn't think that ceremony would be streamed to the general public. We must stop and realize that only with the advent of the internet are we privileged to even see the Dalai Lama on a screen in our home, much less conducting an advanced tantric rite. Not so many years ago seekers and Buddhists had to travel to India and literally climb the Himalayan mountains for a brief audience with him. Then HHDL began to travel and I felt so honored to see and hear him give a public talk here in Albuquerque in 1991. I watched all the live video sessions of the summer Kalachakra in Washington DC and marveled at the opportunity. But, to "broadcast" the previously never-before-seen Oracles "in trance" was a true spectacle! I thought the Nechung State Oracle was much older. (You can see how young he is in the clip below, out of trance.)

Given that HHDL allowed this documentary to be filmed and it was released in 2010, you too can marvel (or maybe recoil in horror) at this clip from "The Oracle - Reflections on Self."

If that's not exploring inner space, I don't know what is! Once again, this is nothing like the post I envisioned. I have written over 100 pages in various journals since the retreat began. I'll cull through it all and hopefully post more insights soon.

2012!

If this first day is any indication of what 2012 holds in store, it's going to be a Wild Ride!

After fasting yesterday and spending a very quiet New Year's Eve of contemplation, I was looking forward to hopping up to eat and celebrate today -- it's called rejoicing ;) The very fist thing I saw, however, was an email that "set me off." My heart was racing and I was mad. How could this so-and-so ruin my plans? After pacing around a bit, and sitting down to breathe, I was able to turn this situation around and SEE it for what was really happening. People are going to do whatever they do, but MY reaction is a choice. I didn't have to "go off." I could do anything from ignore it to quickly handle it and move on. Izzi (my dog) was growling about something, but I don't have to fight back. All these situations can be lessons or opportunities, if we choose to see them that way. I felt inspired and thought I would come and blog about that bit of insight. But, first, I decided I should check my Facebook site, get my daily retreat update, and perhaps post an inspirational note to a sick friend.

I went over to my friend Kelli's page, ready to post something like, "Welcome to a brand new year," when I saw something about a memorial-- HER memorial. The blood literally drained from my face and hands. She had died just two days after Christmas. This was not expected. Yes, Kelli had been fighting cancer for the past three years, but she had been going out to eat when I last heard from her. This is the way I remember Kelli O'Brien from high school. Kelli, Kristi, me and many other girls all looked the same -- long straight hair parted down the middle. It was the 70s. I left Kristi a message and she called back very quickly. We would have cried, but I had sobbed uncontrollably before she called and she had cried at the memorial service Friday.

Talking to Kristi, my best friend in high school, was wonderful. We live a thousand miles apart, but called a couple of times last year; not enough. I will never see or speak to Kelli now. What a roller coaster day of emotions. I have a feeling this year is going to bring us face to face with what really matters. Get ready. In fact, if you haven't see the film, "I AM" I consider it "must viewing" (it's on Netflix this month.) I've watched it four times since October and I think I'll watch it again tonight. Call someone, hug someone you care about. Make today and this year matter.

A Quiet Christmas

I keep thinking of what Michelle said when I told her I would be on retreat through the holidays. She said, "So it will be a quiet Christmas for you this year." I didn't realize how quiet. I didn't think we were taking vows of silence for this retreat, but I see we really are. During the instructions and orientation this past week, we were told that the retreatants at Sravasti Abbey (the photo) are to turn off their cell phones, computers and that they will watch no TV or movies. Video Dharma talks are allowed and we were told we can access the internet Dharma pages, but no other type of "chit chat", in chat rooms, tweeting or emails. (Sravasti is a savvy abbey with plenty of digital dharma!)

So, I am actually violating the rules by blogging. But, I really felt as part of my purification process I need to post weekly. I am journaling a LOT. Keeping very detailed notes on the teachings, my reactions, and the effects. I would love to give my own big dharma talk by writing a Facebook note on all the nuances of this purification retreat, but that would be a complete violation, so I won't. I am learning to be quiet with my thoughts and reactions. To absorb and practice the teachings rather than feel compelled to share every feeling and insight. That is a breakthrough for me and enough said. Yes, Michelle, it is a very quiet Christmas! Holiday Blessings to my friends of all faiths and Namaste to all.

On Vacation with the Buddha

Well, here I am on retreat, something totally different than I expected to be doing this December. I had every intention of taking off in my big RV Van for the Baja, but fate had something else in mind. It's a long story and those who need to know the how's and why's of it, do. The important thing is that I have now fully committed to 30 days of "Retreat from Afar." I have vowed to the same rigid monastic schedule my brother is doing, the only difference being that I am "in" for 30 days, and he's doing three months -- actually more, but three months of this particular "Vajarasattva Purification." That link is actually to a different, two-day retreat held in 2006, but the tone and topics are the same.

The real reason I'm blogging is 1) to periodically post how I feel going through this long process -- the longest retreat I've undertaken, and 2) to record the truly auspicious beginning. The Lama conducting the retreat told us today, "Many favorable conditions must come together for you to participate in this retreat." I understand what she means -- there are so many circumstances including knowing what Vajrayana is, having some of the preliminary teachings (so it even makes sense), and then the fortuitous conditions to hear of this event and join in. But add to that, right this moment (9 pm Sunday evening) because I was online and reviewing some of the materials, I received word that His Holiness the Dalai Lama was about to broadcast live from India. His teachings just began on Ustream. So I will stop and listen to his Dharma Transmission on mind training.

All of this is incredibly auspicious. Also, this morning, just as I finished meditating and stepped outside to feed the birds, a new unusual bird (very colorful, that I learned is a Black-headed Grosbeak) was outside. I've been feeding birds for several years and this is the first time I've seen such a bird. But it came to me it was a sign that I was on the right path. So, my first day has been very successful, but now I must concentrate on HHDL. Namaste!