Well, here I am on retreat, something totally different than I expected to be doing this December. I had every intention of taking off in my big RV Van for the Baja, but fate had something else in mind. It's a long story and those who need to know the how's and why's of it, do. The important thing is that I have now fully committed to 30 days of "Retreat from Afar." I have vowed to the same rigid monastic schedule my brother is doing, the only difference being that I am "in" for 30 days, and he's doing three months -- actually more, but three months of this particular "Vajarasattva Purification." That link is actually to a different, two-day retreat held in 2006, but the tone and topics are the same. The real reason I'm blogging is 1) to periodically post how I feel going through this long process -- the longest retreat I've undertaken, and 2) to record the truly auspicious beginning. The Lama conducting the retreat told us today, "Many favorable conditions must come together for you to participate in this retreat." I understand what she means -- there are so many circumstances including knowing what Vajrayana is, having some of the preliminary teachings (so it even makes sense), and then the fortuitous conditions to hear of this event and join in. But add to that, right this moment (9 pm Sunday evening) because I was online and reviewing some of the materials, I received word that His Holiness the Dalai Lama was about to broadcast live from India. His teachings just began on Ustream. So I will stop and listen to his Dharma Transmission on mind training.
All of this is incredibly auspicious.
Also, this morning, just as I finished meditating and stepped outside to feed the birds, a new unusual bird (very colorful, that I learned is a Black-headed Grosbeak) was outside. I've been feeding birds for several years and this is the first time I've seen such a bird. But it came to me it was a sign that I was on the right path. So, my first day has been very successful, but now I must concentrate on HHDL. Namaste!
6 comments:
I'm curious, if you're even able to communicate on your retreat, if you're working with the Vajrasattava in a singular sense or in association with the five dyhanani Buddhas.
If you cannot communicate while on retreat I hope you can find time to answer afterward.
Namaste and blessings on your retreat.
Namaste, Ryan! Yes, this one, as I was just reminded this morning, is "retreat from ignorance, anger and attachments" more than anything. To be honest, I usually practice with a different group locally, and I've discovered than within Vajrayana there are so many different ways to approach the same teachings. This "Retreat from Afar" is by Sravasti Abbey . On that page is their explanation of the Vajrasattva Purification process. This practice entails doing a sadhana (practice text, that I downloaded and have on my Kindle, along with other supplemental texts) which includes meditations on Shunyta (which I like to think of a spaciousness, rather than emptiness.) And they encourage visualizations and repetition of the Vajrasattva mantra 108 times daily. I am certainly learning it now!! (I went through the Vajrasattva empowerment locally in September, so this was particularly auspicious!)
I can't vow to blog every day, but I am going to post updates of how it's affecting me. I am doing this in solidarity with my brother, who is doing a MUCH longer transformation. Thank you for your interest. Where did you find my blog, if you don't mind me asking? Facebook, Twitter? Just really curious. Thank you again, and again, Namaste!
This answers the part about Silence, which I am not taking a vow of Silence for this retreat... although they do encourage staying quiet most of the morning. I think I violated that today, with Fbook and blogging. But here is a brief "welcome video" about what to expect.
I will look for the answer about the singular vs. "five dyhanani Buddhas" as it continues.
I'll make a new post soon, but for now I wanted to share something from the past two days of dharma talks (aka teachings.) Ven. Thubten Chodron, our retreat leader, talked about how we should expect to see "garbage rise to the surface" during this purification process. Today's talk is called: Purification: The Mental & Spiritual Washing Machine
As we open up, we reveal what is inside. She says when you open the washing machine lid, you don't freak out if you see dirt or scum coming to the surface. You say, good, my clothes are getting clean. Likewise, she says if we feel or see emotions surfacing during our retreat, we say, "Good, the dirt is coming out." I like that!
Also, she did address the various celestial forms of Buddha and what some teach comprise the Vajrasattva, but for now, she suggested we not get too concerned with who or what the Vajrasattva is... we'll address that soon in visualizations. (However, I am aware of the "five Buddhas" from my Bardo studies, too, Ryan.)
It's all wonderful so far... the chanting, meditation, but particularly the teachings (and the cleansings!)
Zen Woman :-) Namaste! Tashi Delek!
I found your blog by surfing blogger, hitting the "next blog" button and seeing if it interested me. Your journey is fascinating and I feel it's a bit like my own. Like you said, there are so many approaches to the same concept. I like to think of that as the 84,000 doors.
I have done a silent retreat at the Kagyu Thubten Choling monastery in New York under Lama Norlha Rinpoche and my own three week retreat a year later in my home. I had to adjust the rules for my home retreat, which is why I said I dind't know if you were able to communicate or not. I agree with your take on the subject, that dharma studies are ok to communicate about.
Have you performed the Vajrasattva sadhana yet? I'm curious about your experience with it. I haven't done a Vajrasattva sadhana. My studies include the Chenrezig sadhana, but no others yet. When you emerge from retreat I'd enjoy hearing about about that.
I like that analogy, about dirt rising to the surface. That is a great way to traverse the path of purification. I had a friend once who went through a Vajrasattva retreat. It was incredibly transformational for her.
I'm sorry I didn't reply sooner, I didn't see these comments until you posted on my blog. I'm very new to all this. I'm used to the FB notes, like you mentioned, as a way of communicating my thoughts.
I'm happy to have a sort of kindred spirit here.
I wish you the very best of luck in your coming year and on the completion of your retreat. I think that a retreat from ignorance and also attachment is a noble one; difficult but so worthwhile. How can we not be ignorant yet not attach to the information which frees our ignorance? That's a tough one. I wish you the very best of luck and I hope to talk a lot more in the coming year.
Namaste :-)
No problem, Ryan... I'm not supposed to be 'chatting' anyway ;)
I will add to the 2012 post later today, tho, with a few more insights and maybe post over on your blog! Tashi Delek, indeed! (GL, cheers, blessings all wrapped up in one nice Tibetan word.)
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