Addiction

CNN is airing the program again tonight. If you missed it, watch it. Why? Because we're all addicts. Drinking, drugs, smoking, food, gambling and even sex addicts who can't stay away from online porn. Who can judge another's addiction?

Watching the program, I relived my own trauma of quitting smoking. I relapsed many times. Finally, through persistence, I have quit. I haven't had a "puff" for months now. I haven't smoked an entire cigarette for over two years -- 25 months. I quit in February 2007 out of fear.

I was told smoking was a huge contributor to my clogged arteries. Fear of dying was the only thing that could cause me to quit. And, even that didn't totally stop me. I was "clean" for about 6 months and then one day, I just couldn't take it and smoked a few puffs. I didn't buy a pack, I just smoked a few puffs from an old stale cigarette. It tasted awful and made me cough so I put it out. When I tried to write about not smoking, I always wanted one. So I couldn't tell my story or participate in the online "Quit" group. Every time I logged on I wanted one more than ever. I still can't watch the "Quit" commercials on TV. It makes me want to smoke. This is about as successful as I've been. Actually writing this on my desk computer without smoking. Sometimes I can't sit at this computer. Sometimes I can't even write -- still! I find new places to write. Quitting is that hard.

Not just smoking or drugs, but breaking ANY habit is painful. Creating new healthy ones is hard. It's work. It takes a lot of effort. I just did the math again. I have not smoked over 6 thousand cigarettes. So, if I've had a few in two years, it's nothing compared to the SIX thousand I have not smoked. We have to work at it every day. It's hard. We need to hear more success stories and those who relapse need to know we all relapse. It's those who keep trying that are successful.