If this first day is any indication of what 2012 holds in store, it's going to be a Wild Ride! After fasting yesterday and spending a very quiet New Year's Eve of contemplation, I was looking forward to hopping up to eat and celebrate today -- it's called rejoicing ;) The very fist thing I saw, however, was an email that "set me off." My heart was racing and I was mad. How could this so-and-so ruin my plans? After pacing around a bit, and sitting down to breathe, I was able to turn this situation around and SEE it for what was really happening. People are going to do whatever they do, but MY reaction is a choice. I didn't have to "go off." I could do anything from ignore it to quickly handle it and move on. Izzi (my dog) was growling about something, but I don't have to fight back. All these situations can be lessons or opportunities, if we choose to see them that way. I felt inspired and thought I would come and blog about that bit of insight. But, first, I decided I should check my Facebook site, get my daily retreat update, and perhaps post an inspirational note to a sick friend.
I went over to my friend Kelli's page, ready to post something like, "Welcome to a brand new year," when I saw something about a memorial-- HER memorial. The blood literally drained from my face and hands. She had died just two days after Christmas. This was not expected.
Yes, Kelli had been fighting cancer for the past three years, but she had been going out to eat when I last heard from her. This is the way I remember Kelli O'Brien from high school. Kelli, Kristi, me and many other girls all looked the same -- long straight hair parted down the middle. It was the 70s. I left Kristi a message and she called back very quickly. We would have cried, but I had sobbed uncontrollably before she called and she had cried at the memorial service Friday. Talking to Kristi, my best friend in high school, was wonderful. We live a thousand miles apart, but called a couple of times last year; not enough. I will never see or speak to Kelli now. What a roller coaster day of emotions. I have a feeling this year is going to bring us face to face with what really matters. Get ready. In fact, if you haven't see the film, "I AM" I consider it "must viewing" (it's on Netflix this month.) I've watched it four times since October and I think I'll watch it again tonight. Call someone, hug someone you care about. Make today and this year matter.
4 comments:
I was always a bit in awe of Kelli O'brien. She had a sense of grace, humor, intelligence, popular, pretty, well liked, talented, and wasn't afraid to put herself out there. She certainly touched of a lot of people. Kelli's message was shower the people you love with love. She certainly lived that way.
That is the song they played at the end of her memorial, by James Taylor (by local Ottumwa talent) everyone swayed and joined hands.
I'm sorry for the loss of your friend. I wish I had something to say which could , in some way, make it a bit better.
May she always be remembered for her beautiful spirit.
sorry to read about your friend. that must have been such a shock. glad you were able to talk with Kristi, that must have been healing for both of you.
hugs,
mo
Thanks Ryan and Mo, it was just so shocking. Then, I had a few other interruptions this week... banking and business, writing project that "had" to be edited... mostly LIFE. I have a big commitment now to finish the last ten days very quietly.
Yes, Ryan we have a Sadhana to follow. In fact, I have the transcripts from another retreat (compiled into this 700 page book) and I have sent the first section to my Kindle (Mo) using CONVERT (in case some other silent Kindle user sees this ;) It's WONDERFUL!
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