Wow, what a week of lessons about what we think we have and letting go. I was forced to let go of a substantial quantity of paper wealth.(I think I could speak in the plural here, since I was not alone on this lesson, but I'll stay singular, thanks.) What are those six stages of grief? Shock -- Yep! seeing the Dow take the biggest one week plunge since the Great Depression was shocking in the extreme; Denial (yes, "please don't let this be happening"); Anger (oh my, yes... an understatement!); Depression (absolutely!); Bargaining (hmmmm "I will never again invest in stocks if you just let me live through this.") ; Acceptance? Not yet, but that's where I am at this moment and why I'm blogging. I'm trying to accept. Trying to let go. And, not just of the numbers on a piece of paper, but of the anger and frustration.
This particular anger is over feeling screwed for doing "the right thing" all these years. I didn't leverage myself to the hilt and buy some extravagant home beyond my means. I've stayed in my modest little house, with my modest mortgage and invested. And now I wonder, "Invested in what?" A bunch of a-hole CEO's that robbed their own corporations blind? The companies are now bankrupt -- GM (stock under $5), AIG (down from $70 a share to under $2) Citi Group (once at $55 was at $12 a share) and even my beloved tech stocks were ravaged -- values cut in half. At one point this week 1499 of the 1500 companies on the NYSE were at all time lows!! The companies are just as screwed as I am -- as you are, if you lost money in your IRA, 401K or even our PERA Plan which is down several Billion now.
So, yes, I'm angry at this situation and feeling grief for our country. How did WE (yes, in the plural) allow this to happen? As some of the commentators have asked, "Where were the grown ups?" It's as if a bunch of greedy, drunken juvenile delinquents robbed us blind. Only JD's are usually caught and sent to jail. These insanely greedy CEO's with their multi-million "Golden Parachutes" are somewhere laughing their asses off at our stupidity. Will any of them go to prison for this mess?
And, I'm angry that now we're in more hock (nearly a Trillion in this Bail Out Plan, TARP) and it isn't working. This could take years, just like the War in Iraq, to resolve. So, where's that Letting Go? That Lesson in all this?
Well, there are many. I could wax philosophical about Capitalism, materialism, even Socialism -- but there will be plenty of that in days to come. But, for now, looking at the Grief Model, psychologists say:
You will start to look forward and actually plan for the future. Eventually, you will be able to think about your loss without pain; sadness, yes, but eventually the gut wrenching pain will be gone. You will once again anticipate good times to come, and even find joy again in the experience of living.And, with that, it's back to releasing my Kleshas for the Padawan, 'cause as the Buddhists are fond of saying --
"Contentment is the greatest form of wealth."
2 comments:
I'm thinking, "If you ain't got nothing, ain't got nothing to lose." I've lived within my means too, but have never spent much time or energy thinking about investments. For many years, I was losing money by letting money sit in savings accounts and CDs, instead of investing the appropriate amounts. As it turns out, I may come out ahead by not having invested all those years. I never had a large amount available for investing anyway, so it's not a big deal for me. We're all going to be affected, though. Government pension fund shortfalls will cause budget cuts, people will lose jobs, etc., etc., etc. We may as well not waste energy worrying about things over which we have no control - easier said than done though.
kay
Thanks for your thoughts, Kay! the thing I like most about blogging is the dialogue with friends and anyone who reads or cares to comment. And, even tho I rant a lot, ultimately it's great to have a record (available from anywhere) to review -- to see our thoughts, feelings and events at given points in time.
The whole paper wealth thing is volatile. Even bank accounts or actual Federal Reserve Notes, could be worthless. That's the realization I was having as the stock market was crashing last week (and it truly was a crash) -- the worst percentage drops since Spring of 1933. I didn't realize, until last week, that the Depression lasted TEN years (some claim 20) with the worst conditions in 1933. The first stock crash was Oct 29, 1929, but things turned even worse in March of 1933. Studying that can make one feel depressed (Depression) because in some ways it's so similar to what is occurring now. It was an international situation that began with a lack of confidence in the financial systems, and spread to all facets of life, affecting everyone. Confidence is key. If we all panic, things will deteriorate. So, the best blogging would be positive, uplifting thoughts and that too, is easier said than done!
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