Sunday, February 14, 2010

do we care?

Had a very interesting discussion today with some professionals, working folk, about the emails they receive. When they open email and find anywhere from 50 to 100 emails a day they have to sort through them, because for business people time is money, and emails could mean a job or important contact. The Government Gal says same thing. She dreads opening email anymore to find not only messages from her boss and workers, but friends and family sending anything they happened to find cute, interesting, latest family news (SueSue had a boo boo), who's dating who, and the worst: what do you think of this? Her point was 1) it places a demand on her to read all the "junk" and 2) she feels rude if she doesn't respond to her friends and family. But here's the best comment of all: email, like talk, has become cheap.

What does that mean? This gal said before email people didn't send ten letters a day with every errant whim they could think of. No, because you would have to get paper, write your crazy thought (several times if you wanted to send it to each family member and friend), get stamps and then mail it. Her point is that we were more discriminating about what we wrote in letters and snail mail cards. Now, every time we chuckle or smile, we think the whole world cares. Clearly they don't!

Playing devil's advocate, I said, "I know a prolific emailer who says well then, just delete them. I'm not going to censor my behavior." I can't type her response in polite company, but essentially she says it's not that easy. To delete them, she still must read and sift through the tens or hundreds of emails received (biz and personal) to know what can be deleted. Her primary point: people sending all these links, jokes and pics are thoughtless and have no respect for other people's time. "I have my own life and priorities," she says. "Do email-aholics think I care about every whim that strikes them as interesting? Must read, my ass."

Driving home I thought about the many emails I send and receive. I don't send or forward jokes, but because I type fast, I can dash off an email that the guys said can take them quite awhile to read, and then formulate a response, especially when they have many other things to think about. It is rude of me and I'm going to slow down and think about what I send out from now on. I won't send my blog link. Those who want it know how to find it and read it. Those who want my tweets and errant thoughts, will get them that way. Perhaps all Persons of Leisure should give a bit more thought to our email impact on others.

6 comments:

Anonymous said...

Add forwarding emails -- that's even worse.
I agree it's disrespectful of our precious time. And time is all we have!

Anonymous said...

Very interesting. Now I dare you to tackle the "fat folk" next!

ZenWoman said...

I think not! I was just trying to be compassionate to others with the email issue. Encouraging us not to be so rude. Everyone has their own karma and kleishas to deal with. If you (anon poster) don't know what that is, then look it up!
Addictions, compulsions, and cravings are our challenge in this world. We must all be vigilant to maintain balance in our actions and words. Controlling my sharp tongue and the vibrations I produce is my greatest challenge. As MJ said, look at the man in the mirror!

Terry said...

Well, shit, I just discovered I'm only allowed 4,000 characters. And worse, it doesn't tell me how much I'm over. Screw that for a lark - how long is 4,000 characters?!

I'll just have to encapsulate. Which I'm sorry in advance will make the points sound very abrasive indeed. But I've no doubt that being a sound practitioner of zen meditation, you'll read behind the lines and react most charitably.

Just like your friends and acquaintances sound. Yes, that was sarcasm.

I'm sorry to say I'm singularly unimpressed with the complaints of these people.

1) They're narcissistic in the extreme in expecting others to read their minds and in wanting to have their cake and eat it too.

2) They're stressed out from a system which is squeezing them to death and taking it out on their friends and loved ones.

3) Email is email and not snail mail. If their friends and loved ones started to write to them at that old pace, they'd all be crying that no one was writing to them any more.

4) They lack self-respect. See Joan Didion's brilliant essay "On Self Respect."

5a) "It" does not place demands on Govt. Gal - those are in her own head.

5b) If she feels rude, why lay that on others' doorsteps?

6) If these whiners actually got what they wanted, they'd be miserable.

7) IMO, this problem is NOT a problem at all; a greater problem for these people is that they take their graces for granted. Well, if America actually starts WWIII, which seems less and less unlikely as time goes on, these people will look back with intensely painful nostalgia to these very things they moan about.

8) But I hear ya', ZenWoman, and I promise to remove you from that list of people who get flooded with those bundles of interesting (to me) articles that cross my path. That too is narcissistic (of me) and it's only fair to stop. This is not a petulant door slam, but only an acknowledgement of your obvious perspective. I will limit myself to only writing when I have something to say to you.

9) I set aside the giant version of this comment - my first draft, which is about 8 times longer. If you ever want to see it, you can let me know.

Anonymous said...

Super-Duper site! I am loving it!! Will come back again - taking you feeds also, Thanks.

ZenWoman said...

Who dat? Gov Gal?
anyone I know?