Winter Solstice!

Happy Solstice Everyone!! Why do we care if it's the Solstice? Archeologists have found an assembly of 127 granite blocks in Brazil arranged equidistant from each other. That site, Stonehenge and even the Great Pyramid in Egypt apparently formed ancient astronomical observatories. At the site in Brazil one of the stones clearly marked the position of the sun at the time of the winter solstice. WHY? Holly, ivy, mistletoe, yule log, the giving of gifts, decorated evergreen trees, magical reindeer and the very idea of Christmas (as a Saint who provides for the needy, or worthy) are all pagan rituals associated with the Solstice. For Druids and Celtic Shamans: three days before Yule is a magical time. This is the time of the Serpent Days or transformation...The Elder and Birch stand at the entrance to Annwn or Celtic underworld where all life was formed. Like several other myths they guard the entrance to the underworld. This is the time the Sun God journey's thru the underworld to learn the secrets of death and life.

Incas, Hopis and Mayans all celebrate the Solstice, along with many other Shamanic and native peoples. Even Vampyres celebrate "the Long Night," a festival at the Winter Solstice. But WHY? Equinoxes and Solstices mark changes in cycles, tangible events that could be witnessed in the sky and on the ground. And, how about this: "In several languages, not just in English, people have traditionally compared the rebirth of the sun with the birth of the son of God." (that's from the Nat Geo link used in the title of this entry.) I've always thought Sun/Son were one in the same. That's pretty controversial, but something I'll delve into more in my forthcoming novel: A Kindred Spirit. For now, it's less than an hour until Solstice, so CELEBRATE!!!

A Lovely, Critical Holiday

A few years ago I included what I called the Peace Page in with my holiday cards, rather than a rundown of my own year in review. I’ll link to it at the end of this rant. Yes, sadly I'm still ranting -- this time over some "famous critic" David Edlestein. Critic = world's lowest life form, IMHO. I’ll blow off a bit, but then find my Center and wrap all this up in a goofy holiday package.
I got angry this morning listening to a critical review of Peter Jackson’s movie version of the Lovely Bones. The Critic called it “icky new age sentimentality” aka sappy. This got me thinking. I’ve seen my share of “important art films,” but you know I’m hard pressed to rattle off a list of them. What I can easily list are the “sappy” holiday movies that have impacted me: It’s a Wonderful Life, Miracle on 34th Street, the Bishop’s Wife, the screwball Christmas in Connecticut or even better Scrooged, White Christmas, and for me the ultimate A Christmas Carol in all ten (or more) variations, from cartoon to Alastair Sim, that I watch every year. Of course, Scrooge Edlestein would find all of those overly sentimental with simplistic plot lines, I’m sure.

I was going to write a nasty-gram to CBS encouraging them to drop this cynical, jaded reviewer. I would include the same thoughts as above, but also ask what if we didn’t have the Wizard of Oz or Peter Pan movies because of some self-important blow-hard like Edlestein who has never created a thing (Yes, Virginia, I did verify that.) All he has ever done, since graduating from Harvard, is rant about other people’s poor movie-making skills and art. And, while I do see the irony of ranting about him, at least I have written my own sappy novel which I’ll be releasing next year.

Critics, bah humbug! With their pen strokes (or big mouths) they have the power to influence millions of minds. Perhaps we don’t need another important art film right now, or another critically acclaimed “powerful” novel. Perhaps what we need is to get rid of the gratuitous sex and violence from the tube and movies, and bring back a little more sap. The world was safer and far more sane when we had more Magoo and Jimmy Stewart and less “killer films.”

If you want to know more about Peter Jackson and/or ‘the bones’ then click on this MTV review. I certainly won't link to anything from Edlestein, nor threaten his job. I'll just calm down and read my own Peace Page advice, and enjoy these final Twelve Days of Christmas leading up to that annual sappy, sentimental holiday!

(Sorry! I know that Muppet/Denver video is old and scratchy. Here's a good digital audio version of the song. Or just go with Magoo ;) Very sappy, and fun! More Magoo, please!

Bodhi Day

You can't really call yourself ZenWoman and not blog on Bodhi Day ;) Even tho I have long celebrated May 8 and/or Wesak (Full Moon in May) as the Day of Enlightenment, many traditions claim it was December 8. Whenever, the Infinity symbol is probably the most significant part of that! And, all traditions agree that as the Morning Star rose in the sky (whatever day it was) Siddhartha finally found the answers he sought, became Enlightened, and experienced Nirvana. Having done so, Shakyamuni or Siddhartha Gautauma, now became a Buddha an “Awakened One”. … So, click on the Wiki link in the title or here for a longer Dharma Talk. Namaste!

Mid Nano Update

I'm moving my November NanoWrimo Update section here. No other blogging this month... just updates on novel writing. See Word Count Widget: (look right and down)

Week One goal 12K DONE
Week Two goal 25K (Sunday, Nov 15)DONE!
Week Three - 35K (Sunday, Nov 22) 35076 DONE!!!
Week Four - 48K (Sunday, Nov 29) barely at 44K (i'm melting...) Major 24 HR push!
Nano Final - 50K (Monday, Nov 30) I WON! 50,054

To Finish the novel, editing will continue into December! (and FOR SURE into 2010!)
The goal is a Spring 2010 release! Watch for A Kindred Spirit!

it begins...

The scariest time of the year is approaching -- the Midnight Hour of October 31. This year there's even a full moon. No, not Halloween. No, not All Saints Day. Where are the dang spooky sound effects when you need them? (Muahaha haha -- evil laughter) Silly rabbit, it's NaNoWriMo time! Why so scary, you ask. Cause we're committing to write 50,000 words in a month! Give that a whirl! (Word Count updates to the right, and below!)

There's a Midnight Kickoff party here in ABQ for National Novel Writing Month. But, for a couple of reasons, I'm not going. I'm there in Spirit, though and so apropos for this night ;) (waxing poetic, too!) Here's a silly NaNo Rebel forum post (can non-Nanos see that? If they can will they answer? ) Only one response to my last question, therefore you people are punished (or blessed) cause I'm not posting during Nano (nanny nanny boo boo, stick your head in doo doo) I am totally wacked tonight -- must be the extra sugar high! Mo and me and the NaNos (tee hee!)

For the month of November, I will expend all my writing energy on my novel. It begins at the stroke of midnight! You can track me here: (look to your right at the Word Count Widget, which is working now. ) Yay!!

Update Info:
Edited nearly 12,000 words Sunday, Nov 8!! Current Goal - edit 100 pages by Nov 13!
(I know it's WriMo, not EdMo, but I'm a Cheetah and Rebel ;)

19K (Wednesday eve) That's 55 pages. I don't think I can double that by Friday. I will exceed the 25K goal, though. This is hard work!

35K (Sunday, Nov 22) Ok, that first estimate was too optimistic. I still have 1800 words to edit to complete the first 102 pages. Good Grief. There's another 228 pages of novel after that! Who thought of writing this frickin' thing anyway ;)

Why blog?

I'm pretty sure I asked this once before, but now I'm really going to delve into this. I hope some of you (who I know read ;) will take a moment to ponder and comment. For years we locked our diaries and never considered letting anyone peek at our private thoughts. Now, everyone is blogging and often extremely personal info. Why? As a friend of mine asked, "Why on earth would you post stuff for perfect strangers to read?" More to the point, exposing oneself (often literally, as teens do) or even like this blog for someone to delve into and "find me" if they really wanted to. Why??

Yeah, kids do it 1) cause they're naive 2) desperate for interaction. The exposed pics, well that's just ridiculous. But, adults. Thinking, sane folks like us -- why are we blogging? Some folks post their art, political commentaries, travel blogs are really helpful, community service or fund-raising, and some just "because." Initially my Zen Blog (the old one) was to promote Zen/Taoist philosophy but devolved into my rants. And posts of my Grand Canyon trip where I crunched a rock formation in my hand ;)

I know we try to stay anonymous, but that's a joke. I just tried searching myself on google and it's amazing (and scary) what all can be found. I remember Jeff, my "bro" refusing to use a credit card to avoid a paper trail. Now, we get online and basically "let it all hang out." Of course, I've lived online since the 1980's (the BBS days, various forums, web sites, blogs and now twitter.)

Another point is why waste time on this when I should put ALL my writing energy into the money-making book publication process. Does a book blog make sense? A place to promote and sell the book? I think so, but that also means really revealing your identity (unless you publish with a pseudonym.) Well, that will come soon enough. For now, I kind of view this as escape, but how dangerous is it? Come on out of your hidey holes now and COMMENT!!! It truly is a curious phenomenon.

Rebel with a Cause!

I just love this! I'm a Wrimo Rebel! No idea what I'm talking about? Just head on over to the NaNoWriMo dot ORG. I've been a Wrimo Rebel since my first year when I joined late and helped forge the Cheetah Club. hee hee. Still too cryptic? (like a Dan Brown novel?)

OK, here's what it means. Honest, rule-abiding participants pledge to write a novel -- 50,000 fresh fictional words during the month of NOvember. Thus, NaNoWriMo -- National Novel Writing Month, AKA "30 days (and nights) of literary abandon!" (if you really want to know why someone would write so much so fast, then you'll have to go on over to the link and snoop around. Chris Baty, the founder, has been trying to explain that for years ;)

Back to the rebel concept. I loved the idea of thousands of (now over 100 thousand)folks all feverishly writing away at the same time, challenging each other to write more and commiserating with each other over the ecstasy and agony of creative writing. But I was already working on a novel. Why should I have to stop my project and start a new fresh novel just to join in the fun? Muahaha haha (evil laughter) I didn't. I found others, like me, that were "cheating" and we founded the NanoWrimo Cheetah's Club. We aren't without morals, us Cheetahs. No sir, Mr. Baty. We have principles. We still had to write new words and hopefully 50K of them. We just didn't start from scratch.

Anyway, this year I discovered a new NaNo segment -- the Rebels. There are poets, folks who want to journal 50K, write non-fiction (gasp!), create 'zines, and like me "the Finishers" who insist we must complete a work-in-progress. I like this crowd of pirates and artists -- I fit with the misfits. And best of all, one of the Rebels (Pax) made a badge just for us! digg it!

Riding the Rim

I'm back and I did it -- I rode my new eBike on the rim of the Grand Canyon! This was a personal achievement for me because 3 months ago I could barely ride down the city paved block in front of my house. I had not ridden a bicycle for FORTY years!

First I had to get used to bike seats (that's a killer), then get my knees back in business. I suffer a lot of knee pain from a torn meniscus under my knee cap on my left and old skating injuries to my right knee. So, I wasn't sure I could ride at all. Amazingly, my knees don't hurt so much peddling. My eBike is not a scooter -- I must peddle. It's power assist, not a motorized ride like my motorcycle. It's work!! And, if the battery dies, I have to peddle with my own power.

So, I loaded the new eBike on the back of my RV Van, tossed the dog and half my belongings (or so it seemed) inside and took off on Sept 24. The first night I boondocked at the Arizona travel center. Then spent three fabulous nights in the Ponderosa pines (above) under the dark skies of Flagstaff at Woody Mountain park. (definitely the place for RVers. Black Bart's is old and dilapidated and others are too commercial. These folks are great! Tell Jim and Bruce HI! ) The dark sky policy of Flagstaff is wonderful for stargazing. A quiet paved road next to Woody Mt is a road to the Arboretum, a surprisingly beautiful nature spot. I rode the 3.5 miles, rested and enjoyed the wild flowers, then back to Woody's for a 7 mile round trip. That was my second ride of about that length (one in ABQ before leaving.) I felt confident I could ride along the Canyon rim -- at least a few miles.

Happy nowadays is the tourist, with earth's wonders, new and old, spread invitingly open before him, and a host of able workers as his slaves making everything easy, padding plush about him, grading roads for him, boring tunnels, moving hills out of his way... spiritualizing travel... abolishing space and time and almost everything else.
tender, pulpy people, as well as storm-seasoned explorers, may now go almost everywhere in smooth comfort... dragged by steel horses, go up high mountains, riding gloriously beneath starry showers of sparks, ascending like Elijah in a whirlwind and chariot of fire. -- John Muir, Naturalist of the 1800's

Yes, it's true. I'm one of those "tender, pulpy" people, but one trying to be healthier and more fit. I ran into a man who had bicycled from Flagstaff to the Canyon -- over 75 miles. I told him I could barely make it 15 miles. He made me feel better when he said, "at least you're doing that. There are people who never leave their cars here."
So, here I am... in my modest moment of glory after biking over 15 miles, three of those were nearly straight up. Yes, I had "peddle assist" but on a 10% incline, very little. It was a small accomplishment, but a Ranger also told me to feel proud -- that I was in the 1% who actually hike or bike at all. That did make me feel proud!
So for now, here's a glimpse of Izzi and me "on the edge" -- I was worried she might push me right over (really!!) Believe me, it's 5 thousand miles straight down from that rim! Below is a widget from PBS where I marked National Parks I've visited. I'll be adding more next Spring!

THE NATIONAL PARKS: My Parks

Grand Canyon or Bust

I was last there in 2002 with... well never mind about that trip. But, here I am sitting ON the rim with friend Eileen. That's me in pink on the left. I doubt I will hang off the edge this time. I hope to camp at least five days and ebike the rim. Not the entire rim, but parts of the south rim. Pictures can not do this place justice, not even my 3D Viewmaster reels. It's one of those places that must be seen and experienced.

While I won't devulge exactly when I'm gone, cause that's stupid (even tho there will be giant dobermans and guests with guns at my house while I'm gone. Ha, actually a mad man with a chain saw really will be there.) I will provide as much evocative description as possible. I will also participate in dark sky star gazing in Flagstaff, AZ and spend a few days in Sedona to meditate and cleanse my crystals (and chakras, tee hee /Wu Wei.) Sedona bums me out with all the development now, but it's still a wondrous place. Yep, it's alright, hold tight, I'm a highway star (glance to the right for links on that ;)

Alone vs. Lonely

I'm often amazed that so many people assume being single or solo also means being lonely. Is it better to be with someone who causes stress and anxiety, than to enjoy the many benefits of solitude? Not for me.

One of the few blogs I read is "Solo Traveler." I linked to her description of this topic in my title. But, another contributor on her site wrote a fabulous article on traveling alone to "still the anger." Here's a great excerpt;

The best thing about solo travel is that it can be anything you want it to be, because, ultimately, everything you do is totally up to you. It can be rehabilitative, healing, reflective, cheap, luxurious, serious or just plain unadulterated fun. It can even be a mix of all these. It all depends on the experience you want out of it and if you want to take this opportunity to discover yourself or challenge your boundaries.

Read the whole article for his perspective on the anger part. (And, look at those fab pics of Australia! I'll be checking out his blog, too.) I spend a lot of time pondering the anger angle and use all the Buddhist and Taoist techniques I can find to deal with it. But, for this post, I'm primarily considering solo travel.

I admit I have anxieties about it. I could write a tome on the pros and cons. Many pros were succinctly said in the quote. I would add no one nagging about directions or schedules. If I want to veer off to see something, I do. My dog does not question why. She's happy to go wherever I go. That's a huge plus! I guess technically I'm not solo, since I opt for RV Van travel so she can go with me. It's not a minor point -- being ALONE is different from traveling with dog. Izzi is a companion and protects me. She just can't help with heavy lifting. sigh...
And, I'm only speaking about road trips. If I was flying to foreign countries, I might have an entirely different take on travel, and I'm afraid I couldn't do it with a dog. I guess I'll consider that later when (IF) I truly am solo.

Finally, on a recent Charlie Rose show (late night PBS) Rose asked E.L Doctorow why someone would look inward rather than outward. Wow, I was blown away and E.L. looked rather stunned, too. It's really a bias toward coupling and especially here in the U.S. An automatic assumption that all answers are "out there" -- for God, for happiness and for society. I strongly believe that if you aren't comfortable in your own skin, you can never successfully be part of a couple or society.

09.09.09

At 9:09 today -- 09.09.09 I stopped. I even unplugged all the electrical stuff in the house. I wanted a moment of real quiet. It was great. I really believe all the electro-magnetic waves and energy affects us. Yeah, people "poo-poo'd" environmental contamination, too, until we saw polluted communities where everyone is deformed or has cancer.

I realized that's probably why I really enjoy sitting outside in the front yard. All the power lines are in the back. Maybe subconsciously it was affecting me. All I know is I like the front yard and there are NO wires nearby. I hear birds chirping and a hint of wind chimes from the neighbor. ( I want more of those, again.) I can position my reclining camp chair so I see mostly trees and greenery. This is interrupted occasionally by some low-rider cruising down my street blasting ranchero music, or the tree guy and his chain saw. That's pretty disturbing ;) But, I get long stretches in the early morning of quiet and it's great for PM star gazing, too.

I'm blogging outside, and I like it! (sans power cord, of course.) So, back to NINE. The title link is to a numerology site that claims nine is all about the Utopian Dream, creativity and imagination. Good! I need that for the upcoming months if I'm really going to finish this languishing novel. I thought of today as a giant reset button. I didn't do so hot on 08.08.08 so I envisioned a new opportunity.

After the 09 moment passed, I randomly opened Pema, Eckhart and Thay for some wisdom. Here's want I found: Pema says our attempts to live more humanely are not wasted, even if we fail. We keep trying. All efforts to cultivate peace and harmony over anger and prejudice may ultimately save humanity from extinction. My random message from Eckhart Tolle is how arguments are hazardous to our health. (We know this one ;) Getting mad raises blood pressure and hardens arteries. Even thinking about unpleasant events causes physical reactions in us. This is why forgiving and forgetting is good for our physical and mental health. Finally, Thay (Thich Nhat Hanh) says meditation reveals and heals. He says under the gaze of meditation, hatred reveals it's nature and we can remove the thorn -- just like removing a thorn from our foot. Every step is peace once it's gone.

Day One of Phase II

Today is the first "official" day of my government retirement. Until now I was still "tethered" to red tape, paperwork, phone calls, insurance, etc. I have met all the requirements, done all the paperwork, and I am letting go! Deep exhalation!

Here is my path ahead - the Tao. It's simply "what is." The natural way. Rise with the Sun, sit with the cool morning air to meditate/journal, do yoga or ride my bicycle. During midday, do what needs to be done, or travel, or work on my novel, or do art, take a class, whatever i choose! In the evening, do T'ai Chi with sunset and stargaze at night! What more could one want??

I certainly give thanks for my health, that I am not in the fires of California, nor suffering financially; that I have everything I need (and more.) I feel very blessed on this day. It was a gamble -- "a crap shoot" I used to say -- whether staying in one government job was the thing to do. Was I giving up too much staying there? As I feel on this day, NO! I am FREE! I can travel or just relax and enjoy this wonderful "world class" weather (in New Mexico.) Freedom, the Tao -- what a glorious sensation!

A Passing Star

On the night my mom died, I was out stargazing with my then-fiance (and husband of 12 years.) We saw a spectacular meteor. I vividly remember telling him we've got to go back (to her care facility.) I knew it was her spirit passing. I knew because it was related to experiences I had a few years earlier when my dad died -- yes I lost them both by the time I was 21.

In my novel I write that my protagonist, Niki, saw a bright meteor the night of March 2, 1982. She thought aloud, "I bet someone important is passing." That was Philip K Dick.

Last night I was stargazing late, 11 pm - 1 am. Around midnight (MDT), I saw an incredibly bright shooting star with long flashy trail. "Wow!" I said aloud in awe, then immediately wondered who died. I felt worried that it might be Thay, who has been ill.
This morning we all learned that a true star passed last night.
We knew it was coming, but it's sad and the country will not be the same without Ted Kennedy's strong leadership. He fought for forty years for health care reform. Let it pass, and not like a shooting star -- but into law for everyone.

Great Ted Kennedy site. Namaste, Senator Kennedy.

Cruisin' the Milky Way

It's been years since I was so excited by the stars -- the real stars! I used to have a large glow-in-the-dark sky map on my back porch and routinely kept an eye on the night sky. My car plate still says "Cosmic" (I'm Sirius!) Somehow busy life and other interests diverted my gaze. Well, that Star Gaze is back, Dr. Gribbin! Good thing, since chapter one (of my novel-in-progress) is all about the Jupiter Effect, Grand Alignment and John Gribbin. (Copyright, soon to be published.)

The Perseid's meteor shower got my attention about a week ago. I discovered big ole Jupiter (really bright in the East sky) and that was it. I was all amped up on magnitude ! I just love blogs -- I can be as cornball as can be here. Novel writing, not so much.

What amazes me, as much as the stars and planets, is how viewing has changed. On Sky and Telescope you see a box on right side menu. For free, you can register and instantly see beautiful sky maps/chart interface (better than Google Sky, cause it's simple to use and no install.) It's full color, totally interactive and allows you to plug in your position (lat/long) or enter a city name, and print custom maps! Right below that is a link to get Planetarium software for your iPhone! I just downloaded podcasts for listening on MP3 while sky gazing! In other words, your own guided tour of the night sky, which really is 'Cruisin' the Milky Way.' Too cool!

For now, I like looking with my binoculars and will probably upgrade to a 8 x 50 pair (over my 7 x 35.) This will provide a little more magnification and larger viewing area. It's easy to get started (or refresh) and now everything you can want is online and books for free at your local library. As Carl Sagan would say there are "billions and billions" of things to see! Oh, and I'm a star now on MeteorBlog! (down and right menu, recent comments!) Soon I'll have the T (shirt) to prove it! Fun, fun, fun! (read my comments, good stuff there including FREE download info.)

Health Care

I'm going to try really hard to stay positive while addressing this extremely controversial issue. Anyone who has ever done battle with an insurance company trying to get the benefit you've paid for (especially after paying premiums for years) should be sympathetic to the need for reform. People without coverage REALLY want reform. 60% of all bankruptcies in the U.S. are now caused by inability to pay medical costs. For those without insurance, one major medical crisis can wipe you out. A single operation can cost 100K!
This all began many years ago with corporate medicine, then malpractice lawsuits, but our terrible lifestyle choices are also right there in the top three causes for the crisis.
Obesity and smoking are the top contributors to health problems. Defensive medical practice -- ordering every possible test to CYA for docs -- and bureaucratic insurance paperwork are other factors contributing to a $1.2 Trillion dollar health care waste in the U.S. Yes, that's just the cost of waste. We spend over $3 Trillion annually now on health care.

How can we NOT need reform?

So, let's be honest. The trumped up protests at the health care hearings and town halls are not really not about reform. It's about money and providing free or subsidized care for immigrants (my polite term for "illegal aliens" or bluntly, Mexicans.) I doubt Repubs and racists are all worked up over Canadians crossing the border or an influx of Norwegians. Those people have their own health care. No, it's Mexicans and Asians the rabble-rousers don't want to care for. The tactic is to scare senior citizens -- since they vote. It's tragic, really.
Why can't we at least be honest about the issues? And to those half-wits who are yelling, "I want my country back." My reponse is "suck it up." I wanted MY country back for eight long painful years. It's our turn to attempt to restore some sanity, so just shut up and sit down! (Sigh, just couldn't stay Mindful. I'll never see myself as One with the racists who call Obama a Nazi or scare old people.)

True Happiness

Some people find it easy to be happy and others don't. One person may be miserable regardless of money, fame, power and adoration from many (Michael Jackson) while another person with no outward fame or fortune may be in peace and bliss (Thich Nhat Hanh.) How is this possible? Here's how "Thay" (Beloved Zen Master) Hahn explains it;

Suppose you are walking in the desert, dying of thirst. Suddenly you see an oasis and know that once you get there, there will be a cool stream of water to drink so you can survive. You get excited, hopeful, full of joy. But, you aren't there yet. Peace and Happiness will come only when your thirst is actually quenched. The thought of the water is not enough.

Many people have all the conditions for happiness. You can buy the conditions, but you cannot buy happiness. It's like playing tennis. You can buy a ball and racket, but you can't buy the joy of playing. Same with writing calligraphy. You can buy the ink, paper and brush, but you don't cultivate the Art of Calligraphy without practice. Happiness is just like that. You have to cultivate happiness... you can't buy it at a store.

How do we do that -- cultivate happiness? We can't wave a wand and have it. We must look deeply to see what we are lacking and why we are craving. Of course, this only applies after the basic needs of life are met. Those without food, water, shelter or those in physical pain can't be "happy" without basic needs. This is for those with homes, computers and health care that are still unhappy.

Mindfulness Practice, meditation (walking or sitting), knowing we have a path -- the right path -- can provide a great deal of peace which cultivates happiness.

I am on and off the path a lot. But, I know when I'm on the path just being peaceful -- being rather than doing -- cultivating a calm inner landscape, I am truly happy. When I get off the path, act out, and speak harshly I soon become miserable and make myself and those around me unhappy.

Cultivation. It is a practice. Cultivating Peace and Happiness comes from being mindful of our thoughts, actions and what we are manifesting (both within and externally.)

Majority-minority?

New Mexico (where I live) is considered a majority-minority state by the U.S. Census Bureau. So is Hawaii which has never had a "white" majority population. I doubt NM was ever "white majority" either. I find this government labeling and districting system offensive and racist, especially to areas where the majority has always been something other than white/Anglo/European.

I was taught (growing up in Iowa) that Caucasian included many groups like Hispanic and Middle Eastern. (Asians were always in their own category.) But, court cases have challenged the old 1800's concept and the classifications are constantly changing based on our evolving ethnicity in America.

That's the real issue. We are evolving. We're not "free whites" and "negroes" as the dominant politicians called the groups in post Civil War America. As the article (link in the title) points out, even a rural Kansas county is now majority-minority. In time, that will change some of the remaining prejudices. The article points out that U.S. children are already 47% "minority." (I thought it was even higher. Wait for that 2010 Census.) As the older "Archie Bunkers" die off and America is left with a mainly Mulatto mocha skin color, there won't be any racist whites to perpetuate the problems, right?

WRONG! Even if America evolves to one nice even skin tone, all the cultural and ethnic wars will continue. There will be class warfare over money and means, haves and have-nots. Those with health care and those without.

My original thought was to blog about the "stupidity" of arresting the Harvard professor, and the crazy woman yelling about Obama's birth certificate. But maybe the "Orphan" movie is more poignant. Philip K Dick wrote about a dark future in L.A. where society was reduced to angry street gangs (mixed race, of course) and the battle was androids (fakes) vs. the superior real humans. The quest continues -- what is real, what is human? Zen is real, Phil. As for the crazy woman who wants her country back. I laugh maniacally. I felt that way for eight long, painful years.

"and that's the way it is"

Yes, there was a time when news was respectable, objective and some of us actually felt proud to be journalists. Walter Cronkite, dead today at age 92, was one of the last of the early newsmen who created and shaped the concept of a TV news anchor. He wasn't the first TV news anchor. My favorites, Chet Huntley and David Brinkley, were doing the news the year I was born (earlier than Walter ;) I followed Brinkley all the way to his final Sunday morning show in the late 1990's. (Brinkley died in 2003)

Another favorite of mine, Howard K Smith, was so influential to me (anchor at ABC at the time I worked for an ABC affiliate) that I actually named my Yorkie Howard K (aka Howie.)
My own most memorable moment in the news biz was "scooping" both Howard K and Walter on a hot August day in 1974 when I got to announce Nixon's resignation on the noon news before them. I was 19 and was the first female and youngest TV Anchor in Iowa.


I was too young to remember Walter pulling off his glasses and wiping a tear as he announced the hour of Kennedy's death. I saw the replay many, many times in subsequent years and thought it was fabulous -- fabulous because it was a rare moment of emotion, not the norm the way anchors and reporters carry on today over everything. I do vividly recall Cronkite's reporting of the moon landing, and how we gathered around the B&W TV for that monumental event.

Watching the coverage tonight of Cronkite's passing, what feels the most tragic is how (like MJ) he had no recognition in recent years and had to die to get his much earned acknowledgement. In Walter's case after a forced retirement (28 years ago), and because of Dan Rather's insecurity, he was not even allowed to do commentaries or cover Presidential campaigns. What a waste! We could have benefited from his wisdom and journalism might have had a few more years of objectivity and credibility. But, today tabloid news rules and unfortunately "that's the way it is."

The Cosmic Race?

Watching the Sotomayor confirmation hearings I cannot help but react to the "two wise Latinas" testifying. Clearly there was a somewhat radical Chicana that sat on the board of the Puerto Rican Legal Defense Fund and that the La Raza group is salivating to see seated. Remarkably, there is also a stoic judge here that purports to be an impartial strict legal constructionist. It's that dichotomy that is driving the right-wing Repubs crazy. Sotomayor is tap dancing as fast as she can to distance herself from any radical comments she might have made while inspiring young Latino legal wannabes.

I find it kind of amusing. Italian and Irish Americans got their "come-uppin's" years ago. It was not politically astute to be an angry Irishman (or woman). We had to amalgamate into the American melting pot and like a well-trained dog accept our Anglo label (which still gets my Irish ire up.) A good-looking, clean, calm, affluent Irish American John F Kennedy was acceptable to be elected president in 1960. My dad, who had to change his name from O'Hagan to Hagans (in the early 1900's) was amazed. Nearly fifty years later, a good-looking, calm, affluent, well-spoken black man was acceptable material for President. The obvious question that is veiled in these politically-correct hearings, is whether the Senate is ready to confirm a card-carrying La Razan to the Supreme Court.

Let's be honest -- a lot of Americans are as intimidated by a La Raza/Chicana/Puerta Rican radical as they were a fist pumping black man named Obama. But if the real goal of La Raza Cosmica (One Race) is to be realized, we're all gonna have to stew in that U.S. melting pot that is "us." America has more minorities than "white" people (whatever that means). The One Race is not going to be Aryan the way Nazi's or the Klan wanted, nor Hispanic of the Iberian Pennisula variety. It's going to be a big mish-mash of everyone. So, with Hispanics or more correctly Latinos the largest growing population group, just confirm her. I just wish she would embrace her heritage rather than act like the milk-toast namby-pamby politicians interrogating her. Political pandering sucks!

Zen Battles

After nearly two weeks of non-stop MJ coverage on TV, I decided today I would not turn on the tube. This would be a day for reflection and spiritual practice. In reading Thich Nhat Hahn, the Vietnamese Zen Master I so love, I read one of the lessons and commentaries. In this one, a reluctant "Zen Master" asks the gathered monks, "Is there any Warrior willing to step out onto the Battlefield?"

I realized that's what was so special about MJ -- he did step out on the battlefield. All the greats do. Jesus, Gandhi, and the current Dalai Lama had to. But, so have artists and performers. Those who offer a different view, that try to shake things up and make us SEE are always persecuted.

Coming back to the Zen lesson, the master was hesitant to teach the monks by lecturing. He knew that what they were seeking (Enlightenment) could not be realized through words and concepts. But, he also knew if he simply sat and smiled, that would not work either. This is how Zen Battles came about. The great master hoped that through confrontation a spark might burn through the Veil of Ignorance and reveal the true Buddhist Dharma. Through Koans (riddles and puzzles) and sometimes shouting ("Do you really need yet another definition of Zen?") the master hoped the monks might Awaken.

We can put all our thoughtful explanations in books or blogs, but does it benefit anyone? You may listen to a teaching or read the words but was anything conveyed that is truly useful? Something you can apply to your life? If I say that Mindfulness practice really can relieve craving and suffering does it convince you to try? Probably not, especially if I still have weeds in my own garden. Perhaps if a more perfect person, like the Dalai Lama, speaks more people will believe his words. But often, only through witnessing death are we shocked into the realization that happiness is here within us.

Romans thought Jesus was a freak. Uptight Americans have persecuted a host of artists, writers, musicians and anyone who looks or acts "differently." At the Zen monastery when the monk asks where is Buddha, the master slaps him. When you find yourself and inner peace, you know that answer -- the Buddha is within. Everything else, including MJ's rhythms and dance moves, are just fingers pointing to the Moon (or MoonPie, perhaps ;)

This is it...

First I was in shock, and for several hours I've been sad. It's really hard to believe Michael Jackson is dead. I wanted to believe he could perform one last tour and restore his tarnished image. But, this really is it... it's over now. We have what we have. Fabulous music videos, amazing CD's and I have three books about him -- "Unauthorized" the controversial 1994 biography; "Dancing the Dream" a beautiful 1992 full color pictorial of his life, and the 1991 "Magic and Madness" first edition of the "scandal" biography (it was updated in 2003, I believe.)

In the days and weeks to come there will be new revelations -- some insightful treasures, but mostly trash. Neverland will become like Graceland, a Mecca for fans.
How do I feel? Numb. What did MJ mean to me? Yes, he was odd and eccentric, but aren't all great geniuses? Mozart, da Vinci, Tesla, even Siddhartha Gautama (Buddha) was odd. I'm not surprised he died young. He was fragile and probably frail. Look what he has been through. Who could endure such scrutiny and constant emotional assault? If it is possible to Rest in Peace, I hope he can. Namaste MJ!

Summer Solstice

I had planned to rant and rave about how the Iranian election scandal isn't much worse than the 2000 U.S. General Election. For the youngins, that was when Bush stole the Presidency from Al Gore. You know, endless Recount, hanging chads...
But, it's the Solstice, so on a lighter note: It's that time of year again when we pay homage to the sun god Rah
Rah! Rah! Rah! Ha, ha ha! I stole that line but it was worth stealing, don't ya think? (sun, light -- good huh?)

Really, on this auspicious occasion (and ALL Solstices and Equinoxes are auspicious in my realm) we should remember to banish negativity and promote creativity.


I need to think up a ritual in a hurry, with only two hours to go, especially since it's the Tropic of Cancer and that's my sun sign. Of course, I will meditate, light a candle, burn some incense (Copal) at the appointed time. And, do Yoga Sun Salutations followed by T'ai Chi Sunday morning. Is that enough? Journal on any insights that come during these times. Maybe a Tarot or I-ching reading. If there was more time, a Chakra Cleansing, find my Tesla Purple engery plate and sit on the serenity pillow (ok, I'm just seeing how far I can go.) Oh Gee, I know... how about WRITING (like on my novel that commemorates the Solstice and various cosmic events??) That might be TOO obvious.

OK, all, Happy Solstice! Seriously, just reflect for a moment on renewing your Spirit and releasing any old negative patterns. In the Light -- Rah Rah!! Go Sun!
Click the title for story on Solstice at Stonehenge!

LGBT/SA

I've added to the label -- Sexually Ambiguous. I think it's sad Adam Lambert felt he had to declare his sexuality in Rolling Stone. Why? Why can't we just accept the Truth about everyone's status -- that we might all be Bi? Shocked?

I disagree with the gals on the View that parents should quiz their kids about their sexuality. WHY? None of us really know where we stand until confronted with the situation. You cannot say whether you would be attracted to a black guy, Asian chick, Native American, young person, or even David Carradine (at 72) because you aren't factoring in the actual person; the mind and soul of the person. Why should we have to declare as children what gender or race we will want for future partners? That seems ridiculous to me. Why not teach our children to focus on the spirit (inner qualities) of a person rather than obsess on gender and race?

I think the Gen X (or whatever letter we're on now) must laugh when they see a bunch of old broads on TV trying to define sexuality. How lost! In a few more years this discussion will be totally passe. Meanwhile, quit torturing your children and trying to make them fit into some stereotype that's a leftover product of the past.

And if you didn't click the title, take five and click now. At least make it halfway through the Youtube video of "A Night in Bangkok" (from 1985!) I've had the tune on my mind since Carradine's demise (at least get to the song!) And finally, speaking of close approaches...

On June 10, 2009 there were 1062 potentially hazardous asteroids. June 2009 Earth-asteroid encounters.

Respect

There's a novel idea. President Obama simply asked that we calm down; listen, learn and respect one another. I suspect the difficulty is the same we have right here in the U.S. Radical extremists refuse to do any of those things. Hot headed radical repubs couldn't wait to condemn the remarks and call it the "US Apology Tour." I have no idea how to communicate with closed-minded people. I used to think I did. I thought for years I was a diplomat -- a communicator. As Dylan says, "things have changed."

For over 30 years I have tried to explain Buddhism. While many people are open minded and willing to consider eastern philosophy, many are not. I wrote a few sarcastic statements just now and then deleted them. I must try, too. I guess I see that foreign equates to threat for many people. Izzi (my dog) protects the house. She doesn't care about the person's intentions -- not initially. Her first reaction is to protect the property. I guess that's how the right-wingers view everything. Shoot first and ask questions later. We tried that (for eight years) and it didn't work. Hate breeds more hate. For now, the Democrats are in control and we must try diplomacy and negotiations over war.

There is nothing wrong with Islam or quoting the Quran. Just like there is nothing wrong with Catholicism, Protestant Christianity or Judaism. It's how any religion is twisted or misused that is the problem. Buddhism is all about personal responsibility, and peace -- not worshipping a deity (but that explanation is for another day.)

Listen, learn and respect one another. Great advice, difficult to practice! Killing an abortion doctor doesn't accomplish a thing other than starting yet another war. I can't advance my cause (or beliefs) by shooting, yelling or spitting on you. Respect? We must all start there. Let's try!!

A New Beginning

Ommm. It's impossible to get "off the cushion" (stop meditating) and not be bombarded by political hate, war mongering and racism. If it's not the horrifying comments and cartoons now about Judge Sotomayor, it's the imbecilic comments that are already surfacing about President Obama's Cairo Speech. Hey, before you go off the deep end, watch it. Not a clip from Rushbaugh or some other Fox freak, listen to the whole speech: Obama's New Beginning Speech. Hook up your HDMI cable, go full screen and spend an hour -- then we'll talk. That's what I'm going to do right now. I'll be back with my thoughts later.

Oh no, before I could watch I turned on the TV and discovered that David Carradine is dead -- mysterious circumstances. So, I'm yet to see the full speech. I've seen extended clips, but I want to see every word. If you have, then take ten and watch this;
Very first Kung Fu pilot in honor of Carradine -- a remarkable man. We'll resume the Cairo comments soon. Update: I believe that so many people worldwide are trying to watch the speech, the server is locked up. Stand by...

Bits & Pieces

I have now ridden 2 and half miles on bike (without stopping.) The female cycle advisor at REI said it took her a few weeks to ride that far without problems. So, I feel good.

How about Nite 2 of Conan? Terrific! President Obama and Brian Williams analyzing the show. Great! And, the Twitter Tracker! People on Twitter were trying to figure out where the app was. That was funnier than the show. Tom Hanks was highly entertaining, but Conan shopping on RoDEEOh Road to Pretty Woman song took the cake.

If our friend Dan is in the Journal Wednesday, commenting on Sotomayor appointment, WE KNEW IT FIRST! I should have been blogging it. Or writing a magazine article on it. Dang!

Fbook -- So what, who cares? Why on earth should I get on Facebook. F that Fbook!

Finally, in complete contrast to these hedonistic topics, here's a REAL Hot Topic. One of the best descriptions I've found on Buddhism:

The Buddha is no one's monopoly, no one's copyright. It's everyone's innermost being. You don't have to be a "buddhist" to benefit. We are ALL Buddhas! Being a Buddha transcends religion and belief. It's our birthright. And when you realize this, everything you do becomes a meditation and living is your practice.

-- (a few modifications to wisdom of) Ma Deva Sarito

Getting Stronger...

Ok, for full effect, open the blog TWICE (I think it might happen automatically when you click on the title.) Then before you read further, see if you hear the Rocky music. If so, return to the other window and proceed reading with appropriate background music. If that's too much for you, just hum it to yourself. You know the old original Rocky "Getting stronger, won't be long now. Gonna fly now..."

Why, you ask, am I doing this? Cause I'm becoming a lean, mean fitness machine! Yes, me! You know, the former smoking, poker-playing party queen. Well, that life-style had to go when I had the near stroke crisis in 2007. It's taken awhile, but I'm getting into shape.

First, I quit smoking (almost two and a half years ago.) Then I got the Pilates machine. I didn't get really serious until about six months ago. I can do the full "hundreds" for those who know Pilates. (I was going to find a video link, but they were all too weird.) I also started some Yoga stretches and Sun Salutations when I retired. (I was always doing T'ai Chi, but all of this is more stenuous.) I'm still adding and learning more yoga. But, what brought on this Rocky-oriented post is that today I did the most I've done in one day --

I did the Hundreds this am, then late morning I got on the bicycle and for the first time went over a mile. I know how lame that sounds to fitness freaks, but I just got this bicycle less than a week ago and couldn't even ride a block at first. When I came back, I immediately got the dog and we walked on the ditch another 1.5 miles with the MP3 going. I was really jumping around, too and when I got home I did a serious aerobic dance routine to the music. My heart rate was up for a good 30 - 40 minutes. WOW! I could not have done any of this a year ago. And, I've lost several inches on the midsection. I'm really "pumped" ;) What next? Triathlon? Ha!

A Real Shocker!

It's Paul Williams' birthday (May 19.) As I always clarify, not the chubby songster, but the rock critic. The guy who was Literary Executor for Philip K Dick's estate and founded Crawdaddy! -- the first U.S. rock magazine.
I want to say happy birthday -- email, call him, but I can't. He's suffering terribly, I'm told, with dementia. This is what I learned Sunday night:

The 1995 bicycle injury (and subsequent brain injury) likely triggered an early onset of Alzheimer’s disease; some symptoms were immediate, while others revealed themselves in tragic slow motion: fading powers of memory, then of comprehension and speech. In 2008, unable to continue caring for Paul while also taking care of their eight year-old son, Cindy began to arrange for Paul to live in managed care outside the home.

Managed Care!! His voice is silenced? His family is pleading for donations since Paul has no insurance. He was always a free lancer -- a FREE man. His 45 year writing career was supported by sales and patrons. When I first learned of this, two nights ago (and after getting over the immediate shock), I thought, "thank god he wrote and published." At least the world has all his amazing insights about music, other writers (like Phil and Theodore Sturgeon), his own thoughts on Eastern philosophy, and the 20th Century's "Greatest Hits." That book was not just about music, but art and everything important, in Paul's eyes. His eyes. Are they cloudy now? Not the bright, intuitive flashing eyes I saw? Would he know me? Probably not. Does he still know his 8 yr old son? I hope so. He had the boy (with Cindy) after I left Encinitas -- sometime in 2001. Here is the famous Moonlight Beach and in the upper right corner, one of those buildings is his house.

I remember a phone call in 2002. By then I had Izzi (my dog), was engaged, and he just had a son. We laughed and I told him he had a bigger job raising a human. OMG! That was probably the last phone call. He said to call him when I "set the date" for the wedding (of course, I broke the engagement in 2003.) We've had a few emails since then.

He finished one more Dylan book -- "Mind Out of Time" (a play on the Grammy winning "Time Out of Mind" blues-ish CD/album by Dylan.) After coming here (to ABQ) for the July 2000 Dylan concert and seeing all my Madonnas, Paul added the Introduction/Chapter Zero -- "Visions of Madonna." The book was published in 2004. After that he sent a couple of clippings and articles about PKD -- one where he was interviewed again.

I knew he had brain damage, but contrary to what the site says, he did quite a bit of writing after that accident. He wrote the 20th Century's Greatest Hits (which I reviewed on Amazon, and it's still posted there) and the final Dylan book, did an extensive interview for a San Diego newspaper (which he signed and sent to me) and was in continuous contact with international film crews and fans about Phil's movies and books. He was still very productive and writing at least into 2005. So this incredible turn for the worse must have happened in the last couple of years.

I stayed up til 3 am (Monday morning) reading "Pushing Upward" (one of Paul's early books.) It was before he even met Phil (PKD, but he discusses Phil as a writer. Paul not only published about 30 books of his own, and many issues of Crawdaddy! and the PKD Society Newsletter, but he published one of Phil's mainstream novels (Crap Artist) -- a book no one else would publish at the time, and he offered to publish my novel. I just couldn't get it ready for his extreme scrutiny. Now, if this is true (which I'm still in denial) he never will see it, or realize he has.

Live every day like it's your last. And, if you can spare a few dollars, please donate for Paul's health care.

the Dharma Wheel

There are so many things I would like to share from my Wesak Buddhist retreat. But, the most important is how much peace and joy we can receive by simply stopping. Stopping our hectic, frenzied civilized race to ---
to where? Where are we rushing to?
I realize it's easy for me to say, now that I'm not in the rat race and have the luxury of making my own schedule and plans. But, it's more important for those who are working and stressed out. I know, I nearly died from too much stress a few years ago. Everyone can find some time to just stop. Stop and stretch and BREATHE!

I caught Michael Beckwith on CNN this morning. I started to say "accidentally", but I only turned on the TV for TEN minutes to check weather and somehow saw him. I really love his messages, too. He was being asked how he knew to leave the stock market in late September of last year. (There were documents showing he sold all his stock holdings just before the huge crash.) He calmly said, "I just stopped and listened to my inner voice. I knew it was time."

THE TIME IS NOW! That's part of the premise of my novel. Listening when we get a message. Yesterday, I was just calling to find a prayer wheel when I found the Tibetan group. I found much more. And as a sign, at exactly 10:01 last night when I went out to look at the Wesak full moon, I saw the most spectacular shooting star. It was amazing! Sometimes the stars do line up and we get just what we need. But, you have to be willing to stop and listen. Here are some beautiful, inspirational links. Wesak celebrations continue through Monday, May 11. Enjoy!!

* Beckwith on Spiritual Liberation (2 mins of your time)
* Dalai Lama words over stunning images and music (HiDef, go full screen!)
* Thich Nhat Hahn) Surrender to the NOW OR
longer on Mindfulness and "Blue Sky" or On Anger
* Eckart Tolle on God -- What Is

Click the title for info on Dharma Wheel, or if you really want to delve into Tibetan Buddhism: Pujas and Prayer Wheels
(I used to link to Mandalas, Mudras and Meditation ;) The Prayer Wheel is truly amazing. By simply spinning the wheel you are sending out hundreds or thousands of prayers for all sentient beings and the planet! Namaste!

Wesak 2009

Britain's PM is on it!!
Gordon Brown's Message.
I wrote to Whitehouse.gov to ask if Obama would send a message to American Buddhists.

Click the Dream Flag for more info about it's meaning. As for Wesak, the "real" version is probably Vesak. I feel such a sense of community on Twitter where searching for Wesak turns up hundreds of messages of gratitude and respect. Wonderful!!

So, here's to the Dalai Lama on this auspicious day. Take a moment and visit His Holiness today -- after all many of us believe he IS the reincarnation of the Buddha. And, don't miss this Sunday on CNN when the Dalai Lama is featured on Zakaria's GPS program (11 MDT, 1 pm EDT) Anyway, Namaste to All! Blessings and let's be Mindful of our words, actions and thoughts (at least for 24 hours!)


PM Update: At the RigDzin Tibetan Dharma Center we chanted for the Amitabha Buddha tonight -- the Buddha of Infinite Light. Interesting since one of the only rituals I practice is Nei Kung for healing and in it we call upon Amitabha. I can't imagine how many prayers our small group sent up tonight chanting this mantra for over an hour, while spinning our prayer wheels. In less than 30 minutes the actual Wesak transformation begins. Gotta get back to spinning. More Saturday...

Odd Day

It's an odd day. No, really -- today is 5-7-9 It felt odd, too.
I couldn't really get anything going today. Salmon Day (swimming upstream ;) Record heat here, over 90 today. I became obsessed with Kindle DX and the new MiFi (personal mobile internet access.) Finally late afternoon things cleared.

I need to get all this oddball stuff out of my mind and settle down. Wesak 24 hours has already started. (Buddhist "High Holy Days") It's time to be quiet, meditate and write, but not this crazy nonsense. Some introspective Mindful writing. I'm not going to rehash what Wesak is... read last year's post. This year it's at 10:01 Friday night in NM. The moon is full, and tomorrow is the 8th -- Infinity. For now, just read Odd Hours (or any of Oddie's adventures.) I'll be back AFTER Wesak. 8
PS - for a Real Adventure, check Shambhala! let's go!

Inner Vs. Outer Journey

Thich Nhat Hanh is a true bodhisattva -- "Enlightened Being." Some call him a Zen Master, but he really follows the Theravadan and original Pali Canon (the oldest known Buddhist teachings.) I first read his book on Anger, and that led me to his works on Mindfulness Practice. I think he has written over sixty books on meditation, Buddhist philosophy and peace. He's 82 now and banned from returning to his native Vietnam. Like the Dalai Lama, he lives in exile. I love his simple "Miracle of Mindfulness" booklet, first written as a lengthy letter to another monk regarding some practices that might be useful. How humble!

Of all the descriptions of inner peace and tranquility, I believe Thay's (as his student's call him) are the most powerful.

"Some students look upon meditation as toil. They want the time to pass quickly so they can get on with living or resting. But, if you cannot find peace, serenity and joy in these moments of sitting and being totally in the present, then the future will flow by like a river. You cannot hold it back. And, when the future arrives you will not be able to enjoy it either because it will become the present.

Joy and Peace are possible right now -- in this very moment. If you cannot find it here, you won't find it anywhere."

Can it be said any better, any clearer? I know this truth. It is hard to remember for oneself, much easier to think about for others. I tell an addictive friend that moving to another state will not solve his problems. He will just find those problems wherever he goes. Tonight I tell myself, taking my burdens and inability to write to Arizona will not solve it. I must solve it here. Wherever we go, there we are! I must find my Joy and Peace within. We all must.

Addiction

CNN is airing the program again tonight. If you missed it, watch it. Why? Because we're all addicts. Drinking, drugs, smoking, food, gambling and even sex addicts who can't stay away from online porn. Who can judge another's addiction?

Watching the program, I relived my own trauma of quitting smoking. I relapsed many times. Finally, through persistence, I have quit. I haven't had a "puff" for months now. I haven't smoked an entire cigarette for over two years -- 25 months. I quit in February 2007 out of fear.

I was told smoking was a huge contributor to my clogged arteries. Fear of dying was the only thing that could cause me to quit. And, even that didn't totally stop me. I was "clean" for about 6 months and then one day, I just couldn't take it and smoked a few puffs. I didn't buy a pack, I just smoked a few puffs from an old stale cigarette. It tasted awful and made me cough so I put it out. When I tried to write about not smoking, I always wanted one. So I couldn't tell my story or participate in the online "Quit" group. Every time I logged on I wanted one more than ever. I still can't watch the "Quit" commercials on TV. It makes me want to smoke. This is about as successful as I've been. Actually writing this on my desk computer without smoking. Sometimes I can't sit at this computer. Sometimes I can't even write -- still! I find new places to write. Quitting is that hard.

Not just smoking or drugs, but breaking ANY habit is painful. Creating new healthy ones is hard. It's work. It takes a lot of effort. I just did the math again. I have not smoked over 6 thousand cigarettes. So, if I've had a few in two years, it's nothing compared to the SIX thousand I have not smoked. We have to work at it every day. It's hard. We need to hear more success stories and those who relapse need to know we all relapse. It's those who keep trying that are successful.

Zillion is the new Billion

I turned off the tube because I'm sick of bad news, and maybe I'll just leave it off all week. A week without news -- imagine that. 1) it keeps me from writing and editing my novel. Words of William Gibson stick in my mind. During an interview someone asked how he could write and publish so many sci-fi thrillers. He said, "I don't own or watch TV. Reading and writing is my entertainment." That blew me away. Think of how much more writing (and reading) I would do with those 6 - 8 hours of tube-time.

2) It's so damn depressing. I wake up, do some meditation and yoga to get my mind focused and in a good place, then turn on the tube and there it is -- more mass murders, mayhem and of course the missing Trillions. Millions, billions and now Trillions of dollars just leaking away through corporate mismanagement and government attempts to prop up those corrupt corps. It just feels hopeless. As much as I trust President Obama, Fed Master Bernanke and even Geithner, it's like throwing gi-normous wads of cash into a black hole. And, I mean GI-normous. I already gave examples of how much a Trillion is (spending a million dollars every day since the birth of Jesus Christ is still NOT a Trillion.)

It's like the world is hell-bent on re-enacting history. First the extreme excesses that led to the Great Depression, now shanty towns and soup lines for the unemployed and finally I guess we'll see wheelbarrows of cash (like post WWII Germany) to buy a loaf of bread. All of this because greedy SOBs could not live within their means or on "reasonable" salaries. I am bone weary of hearing how our outraged populism is bad. Well, to those who were making 400 times what their employees earned FU. And, to those who were profiting from the "toxic mortgages" FU, too. You caused this mess, and now you need to spend 24/7 figuring out how to fix it. Because that's what is really bad. What if a Trillion or two won't fix it?

Meanwhile, I am turning off the tube. I can't fix it and thinking about it every day is unhealthy. If you have a better idea, post away.

web speak

Twitter is growing so fast, the failwhale was flying this past week. There's even a FW Fan Club! Mashable is honoring the Tweet BD. My dadio still argues that Wikipedia is not reliable. Good grief, wiki's are almost as old as the web -- around for 14 years! When you google anything wiki is typ the top hit. If you don't believe me, check the UD . Amazon is basically old school now, but Kindles are koolio. Are you a newness-seeking, self-improving tree hugger? If so, 43 things might be 4U.
I chose this goal. But, don't facebook or friend me, cause I don't do tweeny pic sites. I do tweet and blog, of course. I had to explain to the dadio *be sure and UD that one* that blog is a portmanteau of web and log. He's not a q-tip but sometimes not too hip. And, surely you youtube. All you need is an HDMI cable for PC TV and convergence is yours. If you watch George Gobel on it, tho, you are beyond old -- you're antediluvian (and I did it.) OMG!!!

Religiosity

I made an outline for a non-fiction book called "Religiosity" a few years ago. In fact, I'll go dig that up and link to it. My approach was quite different from Bill Maher's documentary "Religulous" (a made up term, right Bro Bob?) Maher's mocking tone almost kept me from watching. Humor is one thing, but this "documentary" (used loosely) was done in the tradition of Borat's Culture Learnings; both use ambush and deceptive interview techniques that are truly beneath Maher. I felt sorry for some of the people duped into getting on camera -- although Maher would tell me, "I simply asked if they wanted to be on my documentary about religion. If these people are egomaniacs, that's their problem." I can hear him. And, that's true. Politicians, preachers, and all the pontificating Jesus Freaks -- they just tangled with a tiger. I guess that's their problem.

I actually don't mind him body slamming a "brilliant scientist", or greedy, gold-wearing televangelist but there was something pathetic about tackling truckers and the unsuspecting Puerto Rican congregation. Like slamming an ant with a hammer. Hollywood Holy Land? That one deserved a good raking. And, his final commentary, much like his closing remarks each week on his HBO show, was poignant. I loved the Vatican segments and the liberal priest who went toe-to-toe with Bill. Woot!

Notice, there was no mocking of Taoism, Buddhism or meditation. Perhaps because we don't have such silly, hypocritical non-sense. It's hard to make fun of calm introspection and methods of seeking peace. Much easier to mock gay Gladiators for God, or Jews for Jesus. But, will it change anyone's beliefs? Probably not. Those deeply entrenched in indefensible bizarre beliefs only get madder when someone mocks them. I know -- when I used to smoke, nagging did not help. Alcoholics can not be mocked out of drinking, and UFOlogists will always have Roswell!

My final word: When you personify God, you're in a dicey realm. I wanted to tell Maher, look, God is not jealous -- just misunderstood. Idolatry is the worship of false gods. Perhaps everyone should ponder that.

tweeting

Look at how much my blog pic and PerezHilton's look the same! Wow, Horselover_fat is out there, too!! :)

Micro-blogging! What a hoot! I've been hearing more and more about Twitter. I thought it must be another Facebook thing, and I really have no interest in MySpace or Facebook. But, with so much buzz the last couple of weeks, the whole world's a Twitter! Barbara Wa Wa explaining it on the View, the founder on Charlie Rose (PBS), Anderson Cooper tweeting! I had to check it out. Well, you really can't unless you sign up. so I did. I've only been Tweeting a few hours, and I have six followers! More than on my blog. (that could be bad -- creepy stalkers?)

Which brings me to the point of this post. Why do we do this? Blog, tweet, put ourselves out in public? I've been thinking about it a lot. I know why the WOW writing group blog is good. We're a bunch of writers from all over the US that couldn't have the exchange we do without the blog. That was the reason I set up my first blog years ago, in hopes it would evolve into an online writing group. It never did. I still have that first post. (Xanga April, 2001)

But, generic blogging? Networking? Everyone networks or collaborates in some way, unless you're a hermit, right? I heard Marc Andreessen explain it as being just a few degrees away from anyone. (Marc, you know, developed the browser, as we know it.) I have no answer here. I would love for whoever sees this to comment -- PLEASE -- with pros and cons. I can think of more cons, but hate to put those negative vibes out there.

As for Twitter, it's just a hoot. You simply answer that basic Twitter Question: So, What are you doing now? (only 140 characters, but hard to resist!) I'm blogging! What are YOU doing?

PKD Transmigration Day

It was 27 years ago today that Philip K Dick left this dimension and began an amazing adventure Beyond.

Of all the PKD links, I chose this (top title) because the article discusses how much Phil wanted to be known as a mainstream, literary writer and not just a sci-fi hack.

Today we don't think of sci-fi writers as disparagingly as during the "peeled eyeball" phase that Phil endured. Phil called it that because he said no matter how sophisticated his story, they would create a cover with a peeled eyeball to attract the adolescent males -- the main market for the lurid covers at that time. Sci fi movies have become blockbuster hits for Hollywood, and some of the best in recent years have been made from Philip K Dick stories and novels. As I've said in my own articles, and somewhere in my novel, Phil did become mainstream and made a shitload of money -- posthumously. He certainly has been vindicated.

Last year was the 20th Anniversary of a magazine that honored Phil quite often, Sci-fi Eye

Next year, is 2010... Arthur Clarke released a sequel to his 2001: A Space Odyssey in January of 1982. That book is called 2010: odyssey two Phil probably knew all about it and read it the minute it came out. Clarke was about ten years older than Phil, from England and Phil probably enjoyed his work. Next year PKD would have been 82, 28 years after his death. (28 - 82) That's phildickian and definitely an Omen that Now is the Time to publish AKS!

the Shack (Update!)

I just read (well, listened to the audio version of) the Shack. I won't spoil the plot line for you, (too much info on back cover and web sites) but I am going to discuss the premise. It's a "guy talks to God" novel, as self-described by the author(s.) (Plot is the story line and specific events, whereas the premise is the overall "arching" concept.) OK, once again this is an effort to personify God. A new, different way, but still God as a person (or people, in this case.)

I thought last year when Oprah introduced the world to Eckart Tolle and millions participated, we were moving on, away from "God as people." I thought the New Age had finally arrived. That humanity was accepting the concept of God within, not as an external, separate being. So, are the 6 or 7 million people reading the Shack agreeing with the concept or questioning it? Have YOU read it? Thoughts??

Now that I've finished it (as of 02.28.09) parts are better than I thought,with some pretty challenging concepts of What Is. Other parts are so ridiculous it's hard to keep going. But, on the audio version you get a bonus. An updated afterword now that millions of copies have sold, and a radio interview. My final thought is that for people who think of God as a white-haired old white man, it will definitely expand your view, and might be a bridge toward even more expansive versions of "god."

The positive side, for me, is clearly it's not too late to get my GodForce concept out. My Beyond the GodForce (c)1991 (officially registered and protected) addressed the personification of God. AKS dabbles in that, quite a bit, too.

Whether you embrace Tolle, the Tao, meditate and know that God is within; or believe old man God wrote the bible himself and is still "out there" someplace waiting to punish or reward you, go ahead and try "the Shack." (samples and info on the right side bar.)

And, please, COMMENT!! We don't discuss religion on WOW, but it's fair game here in Crypto land. Jump in! And, I thank Brother Bob for chiming in. He did read it.

the Oscars

Every year I think I won't get caught up in these award shows; Globes, Grammys, SAGS and finally Oscars. I stayed away from Globes and SAGS, but couldn't resist peaking into the Grammys and now I'm in full blown Oscar mode. Not that red carpet BS -- I will never care what people are wearing, who had a face lift, or if I ever see Joan Rivers again. But, here I am at 1:30 in the morning watching Tavis Smiley (who I never watch, barely have an awareness of) with clips of Actors and Directors from the nominated movies. Seeing Sean Penn just now really confirms that he should win over Mickey Rourke. Mickey is not acting so much as living out his dream revival on screen. Penn is acting. Wow! The clip I just saw could not be more different from his actual persona.

Also, I'm so glad I saw Slumdog Millionaire. Clips do not do that experience justice. I'm astounded that people can simply refer to it as a wonderful movie. The flash back scenes and "real time" torture were so horrific I could not watch a lot of it -- necessary, compelling, but extremely difficult to watch. You should have that warning. I feel it should win Best Picture (even tho I haven't seen the other four.) I'll see all of them on DVD, but I really didn't need to see a re-enactment of Tricky Dick on the big screen. That, along with the intimate scenes (and Nazi angle) of "the Reader" can be seen in the privacy of my own home. Ditto for Milk and Button.

So, I hope to see Kate Winslet, Sean Penn and Danny Boyle celebrating Sunday night. (Boyle, along with 18 yr old Dev Patel and the beautiful Freida, on behalf of the many Oscars Slumdog deserves and I hope wins at the 2009 Oscars.) Get game -- click on the title link and make your predictions now!!