Did that get your attention? For nearly forty years (really!) I have thought about Buddhism, did a lot of in depth reading about it, then actually took the vows of Refuge and became a Buddhist 20 years ago, and have loosely practiced on and off since then. During all that, a concept I could never come to terms with was "guru worship." There was nothing that really compelled us to worship Buddha (the historic Shakyamuni one-who-became-enlightened-turned-Buddha.) So, why would we worship some earthly teacher or "guru?" It was the one thing that really kept me at a distance from the Dharma of Buddhism-- until this last retreat.
When I listened to and truly heard Pema Chodron's description of why we should be grateful to everyone-- especially the people in our lives who "bug" us the most-- something clicked and I finally understood the concept of teacher-mentor-Guru. The
real Guru is not Buddha, but the person who pushes your buttons. It all goes back to the same concept as practicing off the cushion.
It is easy to meditate and be a "good" Buddhist practitioner while sitting on a cushion at a retreat or at the Dharma Center. But how good is that practice in every day life? Especially when the person that bugs the most is in your face, saying something that makes those little hairs prick up on the back of your neck and your face turn red. That is the real test of one's practice. Can you be compassionate, share loving-kindness and generosity of spirit with that person? Much harder... darn near impossible.
That person is your Guru! We don't curse at him or her, we must thank them... or truly get on your knees, or better prostrate and bow to that person. That is your true teacher.
The most difficult, trying times are the real practice. Pema says if we can learn to just wait a second or two before we scream, curse, slap someone or worse, there is hope we can expand that time to ten seconds, thirty seconds and get this. She says if we can get to the point where we don't react for 90 seconds, then we're home free because our physical reaction changes after 90 seconds. Pema says she actually learned about the 90-second Rule from Dr Jill Bolte Taylor, a Harvard-trained brain scientist, who actually suffered a stroke and later wrote a book about it. Dr. Taylor says, "For 90 seconds, I can watch this happen; I can feel a physiological response develop and then watch it go away. After that, if I continue to feel that fear or that anger, I need to look at the thoughts I am thinking that are re-stimulating that circuitry that is resulting in me having this physiology over and over again." Anyway, the point being we can control our reaction time, but it takes practice-- just like the practice of Buddhism. Everything is our practice!
This particular "Pema presentation" was crystal clear to me. All of it, from the idea of waiting and training ourselves to avoid instant reactions. I learned not to throw things (in anger) at some point, so I know it can be done. 2) that our mood and physiology actually changes after 90 seconds. I believe that, too. And, finally that everyone -- all those people who are driving up and down my street, the ones outside yelling right now, even the woman who took my camp spot, ALL OF THEM are my teachers.
Thank you Gurus!! Namaste!
Those pics are from the new Buddhist Dharma Center Stupa in T or C (New Mexico.) It's also a
Karma Kagyu center and features a Medicine Buddha image (same one I used on my
facebook note.)
